Howdy all - I am in New York City. I have a 12-year-old, and divorce was finalized 8 years ago. At the time, my ex-wife was a graduate student. At that time, my income was $103k and her income was $37k. I now make $180k, and I think she makes more than I.

I currently pay $850 a month in child support and am responsible for 73% of shared expenses (healthcare, camps, music lessons, etc). The shared expenses cost me about $12k a year.

We have 50/50, parallel parent, and do not talk at all. We basically share a strictly business email back and forth once a month about something logistical.

Our divorce was brutal, and we were in court even after the divorce on false allegations (me going for full custody, which was what finally made her retreat, and then I did as well). But we have had no legal issues since 2019.

So the question is: has anyone gone back to the courts for an adjustment on shared expenses?

This isn't something I would do without a lawyer, as she's pretty cutthroat, so I worry about the cost actually being worth it in terms of the bottom line. I'd save $3-5k a year on shared expenses.

College is not in our divorce settlement; simply that we agree to discuss it later.

Any advice would be hot!