My story is not near as bad as others, but after reading for some time on hear I figured it was time to vent. My stbxw of 13 years (33f) and I (33m), had the talk after Christmas 2023. She came to me and told me that she hasn’t been attracted to me in a long time, sexually and appearance wise. Told me that I am gone way too much (I hunt 6 months out of the year, and work a lot). Told me that she needed space for a few days.

I gave her space for 2 days at some friends house, and she called me telling me she wanted to talk it out. She wanted to work on it but kept saying “what if it doesn’t work??”…..I should have known right then and there that she was gonna leave me. but I tried my best to change the way I kept up around the house, I stayed home and did the absolute best I could but I soon realized it wasn’t enough. We get to mid February, I come home one day from work and she says we need to talk. She informs me that I got her pregnant and is having a miscarriage and that is she is packing her stuff tonight to be gone tomorrow. And just like that she was gone in a matter of hours, she walked out of my life.

I am probably leaving a lot of little details out but, looking back I should have been a better husband and communicated more. I regret a lot of things that I did but we absolutely got married way too young in my opinion. The biggest positives is that she is still helping pay our mortgage and I am moving out slowly but surely into my grandparents old house. We agreed on everything and are already divorced. I was very lucky to have been with someone with enough empathy that let me take my own time to move on and didn’t run me through the ringer financially. We have no kids so that is a positive too.

The hardest part for me is that I miss the days being with her. She was such a good person and I fucked it all up to go kill ducks, and shoot deer, and put more into my work than I did my marriage. I’ve dated around since she left me but I can’t bring myself to be with anyone and have made that clear from the jump when I get involved with these women. I suppose I’m trying to fill a hole that will never be filled, until I’m fully healed. When I stay busy and stuff my mind is clear and free, but it’s days like today when I’m all alone at home that I’m the saddest.

I’ve taken a lot of advice from this page and have worked out and lifted weights and am down from 241 lbs to 220 lbs. I stay active and try to surround myself with friends and have not been drinking like I was in the beginning. I’m so blessed to have the money, freedom, home, and food on my table. But goddamn it’s so fucking hard to see that some days. Thank you guys for having this page and being supportive it means a lot.