to be living their life whilst I'm in the midst of court procedures each month, constant aggravation from the ex, and worry of how it's all going to pan-out in court. . . steadily wandering, making preparations that I can't be too sure of, etc. I just want peace. I wish I didn't care so much, sometimes, like my ex's exes get probably get all the praise because they never fought for custody whereas, ME, oh I'm the bane of her existence because I'm fighting equal time and cs. It's a hurtful feeling to know that you're only doing what is right but get your good name dragged through the mud because you're not letting people swindle you and walk on top of you. Moreover when you loved someone who was and is betraying you now as well as the memory of what was, or what you thought was. Idk. I'm just in a place that I cannot identify or put into words with all that's happening. It's so painful and weird, simultaneously. Nothing is clear. Stress is at an all time high. I have to workout like a madman and take sleep meds to keep a human sleep schedule and keep stress down otherwise I am a zombie day-to-day. Thank God for exercise!