This is what was said and what I want to reply with. The urge to reply with counterpoint is strong, although likely fruitless https://imgur.com/a/Mz63Yzi

Little backgroud

Together for 10 years, married for 6. Loved our marriage, never fought... extremely comfortable. Through COVID, displaced from our home for 7 months with our mutual best friends while it was being remodeled, I had my first-ever depression due to neck injury and had to seek therapy for the first time in my life. My marriage was suffering (we weren't fighting, just growing distant) and I suggested going to therapy immediately. She insisted I wasn't in the right mental space to pick apart our marriage, so I proceeded with individual until I was in a better place.

A few months later in July 2020, just after finally moving back into our freshly remodeled "forever home," I discovered her talking with 3 other men. That's when we started therapy... with her own inevitably biased personal therapist she had been seeing for nearly a year.

She filed for divorce months later October 2020. Mediation and housing values assessed April 2021. Up until mediation I had told her I'd let her see our two golden retrievers, while she kept the cat. After mediation, I further told her that I'd keep to my word and let her see them if she paid me back for her portion of health insurance from the time mediation finalized and when the Judge signed, which ended up being a measely 3 months. I eventually told her I wouldn't let pet visitation be a thing -- these were my lies where she "trusted me again and again," which I feel pale in comparison.

About 6 months ago I sent her a couple paragraphs of emotion, basically wanting one last conversation to clear the bitterness and not taint 10 years of good memories. Just recently, her portion of my 401K finally got dispersed and it sparked up conversation again, including a long list of messages. I haven't replied yet but fighting the urge not to... I've just written a draft.