Im 45 been divorced for less than a year. Im sitting by myself with my pets feeling lonely and worthless. I haven't even heard from my mom today, not that she actually cares how i feel. I don't enjoy anything. I hate myself and don't enjoy being around many people. I don't really have friends anymore or any close relationships with family or anyone. And I feel my relationship with my daughters slipping from my grasp. The only person I have to talk to is my therapist and it's her job. I've been trying to keep pressing forward but I just don't know what for anymore. I feel like I no longer have a purpose and am just living to pay bills and die. I have been working out and trying to be positive, but my life is shit and I tired of pretending I have any joy. And don't tell me I need a stupid F'n hobby. The only thing I want is my life back. I have mental health issues that are permanent and trying to date has been impossible. Nobody wants to deal with my BS and I don't blame them i don't want to either. People say I need to be happy with myself. I hate myself and I don't see that changing. The only thing I can see in my future is my pets dying and me not handling it at all. They're the only ones who are here for me. I just want a small amount of joy in my life. I don't foresee any. The light at the end of the tunnel is out.