Cohabiting for the past 8 months. Mediation failed, now going to trial soon. We kind of act like ghosts are around each other, but we care the kids well. Separately, but well.

Yesterday was my day off and I went to the gym, went grocery shopping, ran errands , fixed the pool filter, flushed the coolant in my car…then just became exhausted and watched movies until bedtime. Didn’t sleep well.

Today is her day off and she went to the gym, showered, and is off to hike, have lunch, and hangout with her friends. She told me she’ll be home late.

I’m struggling today. I don’t have a stellar support system right now. Neither did she when this whole thing started. She’s been practically living at CrossFit and now ALWAYS has places to go and people to hang out with. She’s never been hotter and people are lining up to spend time with her. Good for her. Of course I’m jealous.

I’m feeling sorry for myself because I struggle to develop friendships, which is part of the reason I’m being divorced. I’ve always been a very depressed person, and I’ve been trying to make progress for a long time. It’s slow, but I have some good days.

I spend so much time with my kids (I’m a teacher so I’m home over the summer) and I just don’t know how to make myself happy. I want to be like her, but that’s comparing and that isn’t helpful.

Sorry to ramble, I’m just fighting my head today. I’m about to head out and take my kids to the park and splash pad in town. Tire them out, come home and play, watch a movie with them…just be together. I know it’s the right thing to do but it’s still lonely, you know?

Any words or advice, gentlemen?