She bought lingerie…

Content-Class1259 · 2025-05-27T10:22:05+00:00

Could be worse my xw was buying cock rings, condoms and lube!

crager34 · 2025-05-27T09:51:36+00:00

Control yourself around her! No yelling, no being next to her for very long, don't talk about personal issues. They will use anything and everything to put you in a negative light, even lie about domestic violence.

Exactly65536 · 2025-05-27T08:32:34+00:00

First of all, that's quite common, it would seem. Men and women seem to deal with stress differently; we need time to recover whereas they recover by going full-on search and advertisement mode. As in, buying lingerie, going out, having sex or sending signals of availability.

As for tips, the sooner you accept that she will have sex with other men, the better. One accepts it by acknowledging the fact that you are over, that the family is no more and never will be, that your wife is neither wife nor yours anymore.

Yeah, she is buying lingerie to look sexy for someone. She'll also suck their dick or whatever to make them happy. But that's okay - she is a woman from your past. There's no future with her. Some other ex'es of yours probably ended up with other men, right? This one will too.

The above is only about her dating now; not about her cheating. If you expect she cheated, it's another matter entirely.

Pleasant-Mechanic-49 · 2025-05-27T08:12:45+00:00

Stop yelling behind door & checking her phone ( privacy violation) or else u will meet soon TRO (Temporary Restraining Order) just before divorce so she can get her BF fucking her in your bed while u are pushed out of the house & still pay for it

TODOS If you suspect 💔CHEATING💔:

STD check 💉
DNA parental test 🧬 from a reputable laboratory while you have access to your kids. Bearn in mind In some countries, that is illegal. You do not want to be a victim of the cuckoo 🐦 a bird that rely on others to raise their young.
While all US states now offer "no-fault" divorce, some states still consider adultery when when determining alimony
Alienation of Affection Eligibility to get🤑🤑
- Alienation of affection , aka "homewrecker" law, is only available in a few states, allowing a married or divorced person or to sue a 3rd party for damaging their marital relationship. Typically, it involve someone who had an affair with her ex,
- Real-Life Example
  - A man from this Sub sued her wife’s BF in NY with text messages, emails, and photos, he won $125,000 for that Alienation+ No alimony+Ex required to pay for the divorce costs.

mixturedd · 2025-05-27T07:26:35+00:00

Biggest tip. Move out as soon as you can and distance yourself from any of this that might trigger you.

MonkeyBranchBuster · 2025-05-27T07:00:17+00:00

Tips? Don't give a fuck about it. Mine keeps buying sexy lingerie daily. Works out. Pierced her ears again, lost weight, put her old belly piercing.

I rub it in her nose by giving her thumbs up and saying "I see you brought the big guns out" and wishing her luck in busting her APs marriage.

Did it hurt a bit when I found out why she was doing all this? Yes. But she's 40, attractive but insecure, and it's quite pathetic if you think about it. When you can't offer nothing but debt and 2 lottle kids, sex is your only go to option as a woman. Good luck to her and the idiot that will swallow her bait into a dead bedroom.

upvotersfortruth · 2025-05-27T05:56:32+00:00

I yelled through her closed door, “it’s so soon. What the hell, man.”

Disengage or you will end up with a restraining order or worse.

Mission_Remote_6871 · 2025-05-27T04:03:26+00:00

-My ex-wife is dating my best friend.

-Oh, that sucks, I'm sorry. Who's your best friend?

-I don't know, but whoever he is, if he's taking her away from me, he's now my best friend.

I'm sorry she hurt you, but everything will be alright.

idiskfla · 2025-05-27T03:43:12+00:00

We’ll all be gone in 60-80 years. Just make the most of the time we have left on this earth, since it goes by fast.

Translation: book a trip to Southeast Asia or South America, hire someone to help you make an incredible dating profile, travel abroad for a few months, date end enjoy the company of different woman (if they’re using you for your money, who gives AF. Nothing can be worse than what the ex did).

This won’t take the place of your ex and memories obviously, but it’ll create a new chapter in between that last chapter.

Some will think this is stupid or toxic advice, but it helped me a lot after moping for years post-divorce. I didn’t date for two years post-divorce, and was all about gym, therapy, self-awareness, diet, yoga, you name it. Then I reached a low point despite all the self-improvement, and said F it. Maybe time to listen to that other voice in my head.

I basically became a passport bro in my 40s.

Good luck brother.

Paddle_Pedal_Puddle · 2025-05-27T03:23:49+00:00

While we were still cohabitating, I was working on my new budget for the divorce and as I was going through our bank statement saw her payment for getting a Brazilian wax, which she hadn’t done in at least 12 years.

Try to build as much space as you can while you cohabitate. Do whatever you can to get out as soon as possible. Don’t let her goad you into a reaction, and don’t stoop to her level. Take care of yourself. It’ll still suck, but you’ll be able to hold your head high on the other side of this.

Basic_Advance7627 · 2025-05-27T03:18:45+00:00

When I left I spit tobacco in the crotch of her new underwear she’d bought for her AP

The_Mule_Aus · 2025-05-27T02:40:20+00:00

Get out as soon as is practical

Sam_N_Emmy · 2025-05-27T02:36:22+00:00

It’s not you, nor does it have anything to do with you or anything that happened prior. This is the “false advertising” stage. She’s going to dress up and pretend she’s something she’s not in order to hook her next victim.

DedInside_6 · 2025-05-27T02:27:20+00:00

Let it go. She’s just gonna ruin someone else’s life. Or they will both be happy instead of the two of you miserable. What do you care?

Get out of the house as soon as you can. Can’t move on until you move out.

Thebadmamajama · 2025-05-27T02:16:17+00:00

you have to learn to let things go. the best thing is to show others this shit doesn't phase you. focus on you and things that make you a better human

probebeta · 2025-05-27T02:13:30+00:00

You manage it by being indifferent, working on yourself, and eventually getting a hotter chick. No amount of lingerie will even the score when you replace her with someone better.

Women enjoy sticking this in your face. Kind of like "look you had this, you didn't XYZ, and now someone else gets it". Don't get distracted, stay on course and you'll come out ahead trust me.

AirSailer · 2025-05-27T02:12:48+00:00

First off, you REALLY need to get your picture off Reddit. She can grab an old pic of your face and a simple Google search will bring up your reddit profile and she can see all your posts about the divorce. Also, if she's fucking some other guy you don't want that guy to know what you look like.

Second, you shouldn't be anywhere near her phone... Don't look at it, touch it, or even think about digging through it.

It's hard to get past, but that's your only option. You are in control of your reaction to this. If you need to justify not giving a fuck then think about why you would want to have anything to do with a woman who said she loved you but then denies you a basic need. She's a POS, you can do better.

Jamescovey · 2025-05-27T02:04:08+00:00

You responded almost exactly how she wanted you to. She didn’t care if you found out. She doesn’t care if you’re hurt. And this marriage and move on. Block out all the intentional peripheral damaging information. Keep moving forward.

r1muwu · 2025-05-27T01:54:45+00:00

First is to lay some ground rules while cohabitating and hope she’s a decent enough person to abide by a reasonable set of boundaries and try to either get her out or yourself out whichever works best for you. Second is to disconnect all accounts and finances from each other.

ballzdeepinbacon · 2025-05-27T01:45:23+00:00

How to manage it? Don’t look at her phone. Give her privacy. Set some boundaries around the house like - not here - and ask her not to flaunt it as it hurts you. But if she’s doing it discreetly, good on her. Go get you some as well. And get some friends or a counsellor to talk to. It’s hard and it sucks, but she’s letting her hair down as a pressure release from the relationship. If she ends up dating it’ll probably go badly, hopefully she’s just enjoying her freedom. Enjoy yours.

ThrowForChristSakes · 2025-05-27T01:37:06+00:00

Updateme

Spared-No-Expense · 2025-05-27T01:30:17+00:00

yep, mine did the same 2 weeks after asking for divorce, and started going on tinder dates, and leaving empty condom wrappers around. would have been sooner than 2 weeks had we not had a house guest. it's playbook and can't fathom how a person can do that. i've never once heard of a man deliberately doing this to his wife after deciding to end a marriage. Leaving someone who still loves you and was a good partner is a painful enough experience... why would anyone deliberately broadcast these these things rather than make an effort to conceal them? It's so odd and quite evil, to be frank.

FrankieGiuliani · 2025-05-27T01:24:53+00:00

Buy that Fifty Shades Of Grey book and leave it around the house for her to notice.

For further context: She'll start thinking you're into that stuff and will lose interest into the new guy. Everyone loves the Grey man. You got literally nothing to lose.

Tossing lingerie in the partner's face is hurtful. Especially if it's the same partner who wanted intimacy with you but you denied it. I got no words for that.

Outside-Dimension788 · 2025-05-27T01:22:34+00:00

Mine had at least an emotional affair with a coworker she met 2 months prior to telling me she wanted the divorce. Found his fb based on phone numbers from phone logs (amazing what you can find from a phone number). His resemblance to me is frightening. Just add about 10 years to me, so that's been interesting.

From what I've heard from mutual friends, they are now exclusive, so I hope they have the life they deserve.

ETA spelling

itoocouldbeanyone · 2025-05-27T01:11:42+00:00

My ex bought new underwear and kept toys that I bought her that she never used with or without me. “I have needs” she said. Funny how that wasn’t present when I voiced my frustrations before she ended things.

You’ll get through this. It’s so much better on the other side.

ciscokid12345 · 2025-05-27T01:05:52+00:00

Well honestly now it’s your turn…

Stop drinking / smoking weed, quit eating shit food, and start working out hard. Lose that extra weight, and buy a whole new wardrobe of fitted clothes. Get your hair cut, and buy new shoes. Be the best dressed guy at work, and throw yourself into getting a promotion, certification, or new job. Start a side hustle. You’re going to need the money.

Get your own friends. Start doing your old hobbies or find some new ones. Rock climbing, mountain biking, racing, surfing, etc. Women love a man who is independently satisfied and doesn’t base his worth on whatever mood they are in.

Get your own place. Decorate it with your own style. Get artistic about it. It will give you something to talk to the scores of women about who will be in (and out) of your bed over the next five years. I have my guitars up on the walls. Photos I have taken turned into large canvases. The Joshua Tree room. The Yosemite room. The Johnny Cash hallway.

Learn about yourself: No more mr nice guy. Dad starting over. Unfuck your life.

Learn about women: The rational male. Models. Magnetic.

Life is about to get better than you can ever imagine. So get ready for wherever is going to take you.

I ended up at burning man with 5 mostly naked women in my RV which is about as far from where I started as one could possibly get... Don’t forget to have fun!

Grievingtheloss · 2025-05-27T00:54:57+00:00

I hate to break it to you but it’s very likely that it’s not “too soon” for her… she has 100% been seeing someone else for awhile(likely before the official separation) and is just not hiding it anymore. Woman monkey branch all the time. Don’t sweat it or put any thought into it. She’s someone else’s problem now.

Several-Eagle4141 · 2025-05-27T00:50:02+00:00

So she came clean it was for someone else? “It’s so soon” doesn’t make the most sense to me. What happened since?

There’s nothing except therapy and pain management.

Dull_Description_710 · 2025-05-27T00:49:42+00:00

You're not going to "manage" it. Just focus on managing yourself. You don't know what her intimacy will be like. She might wear the lingerie and he can't get it up, of she farts, or it's awkward....you don't know. If you're gonna tell yourself stories, make them positive ones. She's doing her own thing and you don't get a say. So go do your own thing.

Short-Obligation-704 · 2025-05-27T00:49:10+00:00

She’s hurting you intentionally. Look into the Grey Rock method. It’s a total game changer when you learn the easiest way to win these wars is to quit fighting. Not fighting back hurts them more than anything you could ever overtly say or do. If she sees you hurting over this she feels powerful. If you’re merely indifferent to it she’s just some nobody that bought some red underwear. Be a “grey rock” and watch her get sad and confused real quick because she no longer has any control over you or your mood.

Helpful-Paramedic463 · 2025-05-27T00:43:59+00:00

It sucks. I feel you. My wife did the same shit and more.

What you gotta remember is that this a character flaw in her, not you. She held back from you what she's willingly giving up to a random dude in a period of 48 hours.

Also need to remember that women really don't understand loyalty like we do. They're biologically programmed to move onto the next mate.

All you can do is take whatever lessons you can from your relationship and make the next one better.

Title	She bought lingerie…
Author	CorporalCabbage
Upvotes	50
Comments	61
Date	May 27, 2025 12:34 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1kwa331/she_bought_lingerie/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/she-bought-lingerie.1553180 https://theredarchive.com/post/1553180

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