Yeah, I’m a very feelings based dude. Probably (definitely) one reason why my wife wants out. That being said, this has been a very challenging 7 weeks since she told me she doesn’t want to be married anymore. I was scrolling the Meetup app and saw a posting for a cuddle party in my area. So, I reserved my spot and went.

For those who don’t know, a cuddle party is pretty much what it sounds like. It’s a room full of people who mingle and you can ask anyone to cuddle. No one is under any obligation to cuddle, and the spoken consent must be received before any interaction. You are free to say “no” if someone asks to cuddle, and the event is run by counselors who are available if anyone gets overwhelmed or their feelings hurt.

After a long discussion of rules and procedures, the party began. It took me a little while to find my group, but when I did, it was really great. I chatted with a girl who was a teacher (just like me) and another girl with her boyfriend who were nice.

After some easy conversation where I got to tell my story and my feelings about my upcoming divorce, a girl asked to sit with me shoulder to shoulder. We talked a while longer and eventually ended up in a nice cozy pile. One girl held my hand, while the other cozied up to my side. Then, we just laid there, silent, for nearly an hour and a half. It was wonderful. I felt so content. My mind was perfectly clear and all I could do was smile through it all. I felt worthy and loved.

When I reflect back on this, I realize that I was touched more that night than in the last few years of my marriage. My wife was unable to just “be” with me. She always found the need to be distracted by something, and it hurt my feelings for years. When I would bring it up, she would snap at me. “What do you want to talk about then? Our days?! How was YOUR day?” Holy shit. I just wanted a connection with the person I made children with. All she ever cared about was completing tasks in her never ending to-do list of life.

If you are a touchy-feely guy like me, check out cuddle parties. They might do some of us some good as we walk through this fire.