How did you move on post divorce?

nothingbutalamp · 2023-01-10T04:36:29+00:00

Time helped me move on. I woke up one day about 8 months after we separated (we are now 1.5 years separated and almost officially divorced) and thought "I am wasting a lot of energy being angry, sad, hurt and what not over someone who doesn't exist anymore." Started a good eating and weight training regiment, dropped 40lbs and now I feel like a million bucks and I'm dating a woman who looks like a million bucks. Life isn't great but definitely much improved.

SwamiSweatSocks · 2023-01-10T05:04:06+00:00

Gym. Gym was the best thing in my life for a couple years, five years later I realize no amount of therapy would even come close to the value of a good work out. Bring a friend, make of a routine. It will change your life. More energy, look better (also makes you more conscious of your eating habits).gym that simple

Alatornio · 2023-01-10T14:12:05+00:00

Time and realization that what I was "missing" was not worth missing.

Focus on yourself before a new relationship is very important.

samk002001 · 2023-01-10T17:51:08+00:00

You don’t! You will just gonna have to carry that feelings for the rest of your life… I’ve tried my hardest to be out of it but have no prevail. I no longer believe in marriage, I don’t trust genuine relationships, true love is not real, etc. I’m slowly drifting to a solitude person…

bigtallblacknbald · 2023-01-10T05:08:00+00:00

Honestly just a day at a time. A lot of leaning heavily on friends and family, and going to a therapist at all (not a magic bullet at all but helpful over time). Just kept it moving and looked back and realized wow I’m so much better

didyoucurbthewheels · 2023-01-10T05:15:45+00:00

I haven't. Sure, the pain isn't as bad. But, as far as immersing myself in anything..all I do is work.

dday_throwaway3 · 2023-01-10T12:46:53+00:00

Spend a year on reconstruction before dating. This is the best advice I've read about that: http://forum.mensdivorce.com/viewtopic.php?t=81647

thrownaway41422 · 2023-01-10T18:23:23+00:00

I haven't and to be honest, I'm not so sure I ever will.

DivorceCoachMarcin · 2023-01-10T19:20:46+00:00

Check out www.coachmarcin.com

Tomica333 · 2023-01-10T23:04:30+00:00

I think it truly depends on the circumstances that created the seperation, the reasons behind it..

Malaine1 · 2023-01-11T18:02:52+00:00

You need to have a big toolbox.

Therapy, educate yourself on emotional intelligence, learn to embrace being alone before being in relationship, go to the gym/workout 3+ days a week, HEALTHY DIET, be with close male friends, and find hobbies/jump into them!

There’s a lot more, and recognize you’re going to have ups and downs. This subreddit I’ve actually found has a lot of polarizing content, but is generally quite helpful. A lot of good men on here that have solid advice.

Take care of yourself and over time the wounds will scar over and you’ll realize that you can and will move on from this time in life. You’ll always look at relationships/marriage differently from here on out. How you choose to do that should be of your own reflections and not necessarily from jaded individuals.

Hope this helps!

Title	How did you move on post divorce?
Author	notsureoftheanswer
Upvotes	3
Comments	15
Date	January 10, 2023 4:13 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1080632/how_did_you_move_on_post_divorce/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/how-did-you-move-on-post-divorce.1146279 https://theredarchive.com/post/1146279

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