How spouse talks to your kids?

kepler22Bnecromancer · 2025-03-16T15:09:54+00:00

It's not ok. My ex wife ruined our marriage with how far she took this stuff with our oldest daughter. Our daughter literally had to move out before graduating high school and she still went to her apartment one night and blew up on her and got a peace order as a result. Our relationship did not survive the fall out. Of course the ex blames me as she does for everything, no accountability for her own behavior or actions whatsoever.

Ok-Cause1108 · 2025-03-15T00:19:46+00:00

Totally normal for a mother to speak to her teenage daughter like this. From a male point of view it seems perplexing and underserved, you have to understand women to get it.

When daughters become teenagers a huge rivalry between mom and daughter begins. Mom is used to getting all of the male attention and now she has stiff competition. Women are extremely competitive for male attention. If you think what your wife says to your daughter is bad just wait until you hear what your wife says about her friends behind their backs, and women who aren't her friends look out lol.

Add this intense rivalry for sexual attention with the rollercoaster of emotions due to fluctuating estrogen levels and you have the recipe for fireworks. Your daughter will dish it out as good as she gets before too long dont worry!

This will continue until your wife hits menopause late 40's - early 50s. Her estrogen and sex drive will crash and she won't give two hoots about male attention after that (and you won't be getting any action either). This is when your wife and daughter will become best friends.

Has nothing to do with what your daughter is or isn't doing, it is just mother nature doing her thing and your wife struggling with the realization her time is almost over.

Your job is to remain a rock of masculinity and do not take sides. If things esculate too much take each of them aside and explain calmly to them that you will not tolerate that kind of behavior in your house. Both will test your boundary a few times until they learn you are rock solid. Your wife may bitch at you for always taking the daughters side. Remain calm and don't let what she says affect you - she is just testing you. This is also the time your wifes libido will be on overdrive for the last hoorah before menopause so make sure to remain attractive and take care of business or she will find a co-worker / gym buddy/ male friend who will. If she has already cut you off due to feminine behavior you have displayed you can be sure she is getting it from somewhere else already.

TenuousOgre · 2025-03-14T22:44:13+00:00

That’s not acceptable to speak to anyone in a family. The feeling can be there but your speech should still be respectful and focus on the issue, not the person.

detmus · 2025-03-14T22:41:22+00:00

Short answer: No.

Do people mess up? Yes, but be The Parent. Have boundaries, set an example, and have the awareness and skill to take yourself out of a situation before you blow up.

Xan-Diesel · 2025-03-14T22:25:37+00:00

It's always amazed me how people (friends, family, colleagues, acquaintances or strangers) talk to their children in general. I've long understood that I don't speak to my boss the same way I speak to my Father or my friends but I absolutely love and respect my sons enough to innately know they should receive a certain level of care and consideration that excludes speaking to them in certain ways.

The constant expletives, bad mouthing (even directed at whatever sport) and negative, toxic rhetoric just saddens me. I'm not a complete dork but I'm careful to avoid using bad language or speaking badly about people in front of them. Whether I'm disappointed about something going on with them or not I try my best to ever avoid belittling them.

I'm sorry, man. Unfortunately you can't control anything but yourself and what you do / say.

RichardCleveland · 2025-03-18T15:33:51+00:00

Nope.

It's disrespectful as hell, even if the teen is being snotty. You are the adult and lead by example.

Title	How spouse talks to your kids?
Author	softinvest
Upvotes	4
Comments	18
Date	March 14, 2025 10:18 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1jbfzr9/how_spouse_talks_to_your_kids/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/how-spouse-talks-to-your-kids.1546566 https://theredarchive.com/post/1546566

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