I would rather not be alive at this point.

Curious_Will222 · 2026-07-17T13:19:12+00:00

You can’t find your identity in a woman’s approval. This is an emotional regulation issue.

I don’t think you’re a pussy. More likely you just don’t know your worth as a man. You’re also in your 20s which means yo still got a lot of life to live.

Not to be one of those people, but Gen Z is very cooked relationally. The standards and beliefs both men and women have are mostly self centered and toxic.

Stay off social media. Get a therapist. Make some friends. And go pay for some happy ending massages if you really just want a woman to get you off.

People can sense when a person is not emotionally grounded or just using them for sex or to feel good. That’s not the energy you wanna put out there.

gammaglobe · 2026-07-17T13:21:49+00:00

Listen, the purpose of life isn't to get laid or happiness. You are a spiritual being having earthly experience. You are in the game. You need to figure it out and then enjoy this game. Wherever "hardships" you are having are designed to waken you and make you go after what you want in this game. That woman is giving you a favor. She is teaching you a lesson. Fall 7 times, get up 8. Figure it out and you'll be thankful for the lesson. You will only get the results after you done your work.

why_do_I_need_login · 2026-07-17T12:50:47+00:00

I’m sorry man. My wife just blindsided me with a separation 1 month ago and I couldn’t even tell you when the last time we were physical. Shit sucks. Stay strong. You will find it one day.

Dickencider21 · 2026-07-17T12:52:43+00:00

I separated and found someone with drive that actually cares for me. One moment in life doesn’t define your entire life, seek your happiness!

AproposWuin · 2026-07-17T12:53:39+00:00

I am sorry that things suck man. Breathe deep. Sometimes its hard to even think when over emotional.

Sounds crazy but breathing can help

One-Specialist-4983 · 2026-07-17T13:02:19+00:00

You can’t blame others for not doing your due diligence. If she never wanted to have sex from beginning it very well could be that she has a low sex drive…why did you marry her in first place if the two of you had different sex drives… this never works out and almost always ends in one party being frustrated or cheating gets involved

Dragonite_23 · 2026-07-17T13:03:40+00:00

I’m sorry you’re going through this. It feels impossible and was the hardest thing I’ve been through too.

I found videos from Dr. Maika Steinborn and Rachel Sloan on YouTube extremely helpful. They have a lot of great videos and tips to help regulate your system but also help with self confidence and knowing it wasn’t only you that led here.

Good luck on this journey! We’re all in it together while we’re also all in it alone.

Select_Barber139 · 2026-07-17T13:06:00+00:00

Man sometimes you need to just find a reason to get to tomorrow. Beat off, get a street walker, go to a strip club.

Just don't hurt yourself. Trust me. Things will look better tomorrow.

PrapteePrudom20 · 2026-07-17T13:07:39+00:00

I hear how much pain you're in right now, and none of what you're feeling makes you weak, it makes you human. What you went through, feeling rejected and unwanted for years by the person who was supposed to choose you, that's genuinely one of the harder things to carry.

bluemarble-spaceship · 2026-07-17T13:14:18+00:00

You're young, and if you want to mature through this, it sounds like you need to accept some hard truths of life. The reason I say this is because I've been divorced twice and am going through my third divorce now. Here is what I would tell 20-year-old me about relationships. Women in romantic relationships are completely different than the other women in your life like sister, cousin, mom, grandma, teachers, etc. Women do not think the same as you it VERY feelings-based, which is usually not based in reality. These aren't hard and fast rules I'm not say 100% of the time in 100% of all situations women are like this, but in general, women are more emotional than men. It's not bad, it's not good, it's just different. Well, the way I look at it, society used to have controls in place that prevented women from making their emotionally based decisions. A woman in the 1940's needed a man to survive, and if she wanted a divorce she needed a real reason to want a divorce. No-fault divorce laws honestly made marriage irrelevant, because now a woman can leave for any reason at all verse being forced to stay and work on a solution. Google gray divorce you'll see those divorce stats have exploded, and it's widely accepted that women initiate most divorces. Now people will argue well just because a woman starts the divorce it doesn't mean it's her fault on why, maybe the guy beat her. Yeah, I'm sure that does exist but from what I've seen, that's the exception, not the rule. The rule I've seen is women have some feeling they need to leave, and they'll find the justification to leave; all they need is a feeling. Go to a divorce support group meeting. When you date someone who has been divorced, ask them why they got divorced. That really started to open my eyes.

If you read this and think I hate women, I don't. That would be like being mad at the sky for being blue; it just is what it is.

richreason1983 · 2026-07-17T13:15:44+00:00

Dude there is life and sex after divorce. I am 43 have more or less full custody of my kids weigh about 125kg so pretty over weight and I still get laid. I am not particularly handsome although I do try to take care of myself despite being over weight. Point is if I get laid and just started dating someone who is very attractive and she is 35, you will be fine. Get a good hair style, dress nice, and you will be fine. And forget this passport bro stuff its BS get laid at home. If I can do it anyone can.

Spared-No-Expense · 2026-07-17T13:41:04+00:00

You’re young. It will probably be years and many additional disappointments until permanently internalize and apply the truths.

You can’t negotiate desire, don’t even try as it makes it worse. Pick a girl who is more attracted to you than you are to her. Preferably shorter than you. Preferably with parents who are still together. Preferably lower number of prior partners. no crazy girls. Always be the same or more attractive than her, in physique, style, and scent. Always have good hygiene. always be the higher earning partner. always be slightly less invested, always listen and don’t give advice unless asked for it. Never stop planning dates or doing your share at home without looking for a pat on the back. always have your shit together financially and with her be fun and carefree, never unload your issues or traumas onto her, always be calm. Always have other women showing interest in you. Always be assertive and have boundaries without being controlling or manipulative. Always have a life outside her. Lay off the porn, don’t have PE or ED.

Do all that and the sex is far less likely to stop even years later.

If she’s giving you sex even without all the above it’s because the relationship is new meaning there’s still more to conquer from you / chase. Once you are married, all those things matter again.

Exhausting? Yes. And the worst part is even with all that, it’s still not 100% sure thing.

Difficult_College336 · 2026-07-17T13:01:25+00:00

Pass port bro. The women treat you with respect over there. Just don’t marry one and get a vasectomy.

Title	I would rather not be alive at this point.
Author	Huskyboah
Upvotes	4
Comments	18
Date	July 17, 2026 12:47 PM UTC (3 weeks ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/divorce_men/comments/1uyyqx0/i-would-rather-not-be-alive-at-this-point/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/i-would-rather-not-be-alive-at-this-point.1629439 https://theredarchive.com/post/1629439

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