Is this OK?

Particular-Depth-973 · 2026-08-03T11:01:33+00:00

file for temp alimony with her paying you.
anything she left sell whatever is not nailed down.
why reward her actions by leaving your home to get her stuff?

Longshot-Kapow · 2026-08-03T08:32:18+00:00

Go to the gym, now! Do it for yourself and for all the guys here who have been in this situation.

Immediate-Story2562 · 2026-08-03T07:32:05+00:00

In a healthy way, do whatever you need to not keep it inside. Exercise, shout, talk, meditate, therapy.
Find a way to process your feelings. Do the work.
Postive studies have been done on trauma patients that writes what they are feeling on paper. The more expressive the better. Try it and find what works for you.
Sorry this happened to you. You are going to be ok, hang in there no matter what. Be there for yourself.

BahamaDon · 2026-08-03T06:41:45+00:00

Probably the only way you can have an intelligent conversation.

Gattsama · 2026-08-03T06:25:37+00:00

100% normal and 100% fine. I did a lot of video diaries to myself. Good to just sort of ramble and do free associations, also something that I could go back and look at to see growth or areas of improvement. But also predictions for the future to see how well I was staying on course. Whatever you need to do to get through the process.

KnownDistance · 2026-08-03T05:26:58+00:00

Not quite a text, but after she left to run "our" business one Saturday, I looked at our online bank statement, and saw a $4000 hole in the savings account. Called the bank, and learned it was spent on a divorce lawyer. So, I learned that 32 years together was suddenly over from a bank teller. It happens, but they're women, so they get a pass.

Keep talking to yourself, as well as friends, confidantes, and especially a counselor. It only helps. For what it's worth, I leaned on friends, family, and got the counseling, which was worth every penny spent. But I also did a LOT of talking and yelling while driving and in private. It makes a difference, and there's nothing wrong with how you feel. The only thing you shouldn't do is keep it bottled up, because it'll eat at you.

Get it out, let it out. I sympathize, and I also believe that you'll be okay, so look after yourself.

Construction00023 · 2026-08-03T05:22:09+00:00

It's definitely not ok and don't be gaslighted for a minute to think it's your fault that you spouse things it's normal to abandon their marriage and family unit like that. It is the most diabolical unacknowledged destructive behavior going on right now ripping through society like a EF1 tornado.

Mega_Muppet · 2026-08-03T04:43:42+00:00

My wife did the same. Kissed me goodbye one morning, asked when I’d be home. Said I love you, nice goodbye. Then when I got home from grad school that afternoon, my four young kids were gone, paperwork, birth certs, etc all gone too. Got a text from my 11 year old boy and nine year old girl that mom “took them from me”. Got a text, two hours after my kids, saying “i don’t want to be your wife anymore”. That was after 16 years married, 18 together. Sucks hard man, Im so sorry and wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

narkj · 2026-08-03T04:33:07+00:00

I’m sorry.

nsf94 · 2026-08-03T04:28:02+00:00

I just got a similar text after 31 years. Hang in there bro.

MrsManglesBangles · 2026-08-03T03:58:29+00:00

That's brutal, she will have to live with her disrespectful actions. You can grow and learn from it.

Totally fine to chat away, if it helps break the silence. I likely whack on music to fill the silence at home but notice recent I'm doing it a lot less now than when we first moved out. I've become very comfortable with it.

DemaryiusThomas · 2026-08-03T03:55:35+00:00

I talked to myself a lot the first 6 month alone. Tried to make sure it was positive encouragement. I felt kind of crazy doing it. But you learn quickly that you are your best friend, no one is coming to save you and you have to remember you're worth the struggle of rebuilding yourself better than they left you.

Altruistic_Swan_9707 · 2026-08-03T03:26:49+00:00

Is it ok? No, of course not. But it happened, and it sucks, and I’m sorry.

Specific_Mountain716 · 2026-08-03T03:18:44+00:00

Common

Warm-Management-7323 · 2026-08-03T03:18:17+00:00

Normal

Title	Is this OK?
Author	Ghettotrancedj1
Upvotes	16
Comments	20
Date	August 3, 2026 3:09 AM UTC (1 week ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1ve1p4m/is_this_ok/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/is-this-ok.1628787 https://theredarchive.com/post/1628787

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