It's been over 2 years...

4rdfun · 2022-12-07T03:29:26+00:00

I feel ya man, here's my sad story as of today. Going on 8 months here, she's on her 3rd attorney. My lawyer sent a draft of an appeal to the court to warn her she needs to have an income (she's worked about 12 months out of 16 years), we need to sell the house, I should get 50/50 custody. I'm 50 living with my parents, broke as fuck since I pay the mortgage, all bills, insurance, lawyer fees and give her 1000 a month so she can buy essentials. My lawyer said I can stop but decided since it's the holidays and her birthday this month, well, it just felt wrong. Two sons, 6 and 16, 16yo confides in my all the shit she spews, she took him to a therapist and in the onboarding painted me to be this abusive alcoholic. Turned my son off and he stopped going after a few visits. she won't allow me to provide care for my kids while being anti modern medicine, anti vax, fear of chem trails all that whacky shit and call herself an energy healer.

So today I got a copy of her attorneys reply, accused me of being physically, emotionally and finically abusive. Citing things that she claims happened that were 15 years ago as justification of why I should not get any custody, pay her 10k for her multiple retainers and a host of other accusations. I bought her a house after the second kid and supported her being a full time mom. She now accuses me of isolating her (we moved about 45 min away from where we were) after I busted my ass to make this happen. I had a good life in our old spot, lots of friends, rode my bike to work

All the alcoholic accusations are distortions, and she fails to mention her part in our younger more volatile days. Or her physically attacking me multiple times yet I'm an abuser because I'd force my way past her or throw her off of me.

Been in therapy for two years now, drug her to two therapists where she just sat there and smiled, "doing great" was her stock answer. Never any real work was done and our second therapist was an idiot. I told him she was apprehensive and I wanted her to feel safe in therapy. My mistake. He had her make a list of all the wrongs I did, I promised not to respond and then he had a 1:1 with her and didn't afford me the same opportunity. He basically cremated a dying marriage.

I could write a book at this point but I'll spare you. Tomorrow I talk to my attorney. I just want the divorce final, the accusations to stop and 50/50 custody.

For tonight, David Goggins new book is out, Never Finished: Unshackle Your Mind and Win the War Within, I DL'd the audio book and will start there. Sucks that I'm sick on top of it. Did I mention she doesn't believe in dr's and on the two days I had my teen a took him to urgent care because his mom wouldn't.

Good luck to you, you're not alone. Looking forward to the ending in the meantime going to embrace being broke as fuck while I have a white collar high stress director gig, but going to get back at the gym, one step at a time.

funrunner1977 · 2022-12-07T03:25:12+00:00

The light at the end of the tunnel may be dim and far away, but it’s there. Cheers, mate.

jimsmythee · 2022-12-07T03:57:14+00:00

I remember the light at the end of the tunnel was so close I could taste it. We had a trial date set for Jan 10th. Her lawyer couldn’t be there that day. Got it pushed to the end of March.

It was all worth it in the end!

JoeFixIt1010 · 2022-12-07T03:31:38+00:00

We are in the trenches with you brother! You gotten this far. Hang in there

Lugubrious_raptor99 · 2022-12-07T04:35:34+00:00

You got this brother! Keep your chin up! You’re like Andy Dufresne climbing through the sewage pipe— it’ll end at some point

fewdo · 2022-12-07T12:57:42+00:00

What the bleep? Why would someone do that?

fishingforthought · 2022-12-07T13:28:44+00:00

This sounds a little extreme. Two years waiting. Enough, tell your lawyer to file a motion to proceed. Move on with your life, its to short to wait!

MightBusiness7231 · 2022-12-07T14:23:23+00:00

My therapy story is so similar. Your therapist probably figured she was disengaged and saved you the breath. Mine did.

fajandi · 2022-12-07T19:20:48+00:00

Don't worry bro, sooner or later (I hope sooner) you will get what you want. It's a matter of waiting right? While you're into the waiting, a single malt whiskey is a good companion. Drink wisely my friend.

James1933-75 · 2022-12-08T01:36:06+00:00

How did they cancel the fifth trial?

Old-Sheepherder-4168 · 2022-12-11T03:06:32+00:00

This story sounds so familiar. It’s been a year and 3 months since I filed. She’s on her second attorney and still delaying, for whatever reason. Meanwhile she living in an expensive part of town and paying over 2k a month on a small apartment just to be in the Rich district for her social media account.

My attorneys keep telling me it’s part of the process and they keep pushing for settlement hearings and asking for court date… but it’s all taking forever. This new attorney of hers is even bigger idiot than the last… he’s always late and never ever responds back to mine. Either that, or he’s extremely smart and knows that these delays are driving me insane.

I’m 40 years old… we’ve only been married for 6 years, no kids… I have no interest in dating or even thinking about other women… yet I do wish I had someone to talk to and share time with.

Thank you for your story… I thought I was the only one stuck with a soon-to-be-ex that’s delaying divorce… for whatever reason.

Title	It's been over 2 years...
Author	ricoame1
Upvotes	22
Comments	19
Date	December 7, 2022 1:48 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/zeorx1/its_been_over_2_years/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/its-been-over-2-years.1142636 https://theredarchive.com/post/1142636

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