I (30M) have been separated from my stbx (28F) for 5 months. Currently waiting on one more piece of paperwork in the mail and then I'll be filing for a Summary Dissolution of our marriage at her behest.

I'm trying to find bits of joy again. Motivation has been pretty low these past weeks. I've started to pick up photography again and have been going on the occasional rockhounding venture. Started listening to Tara Brach "Radical Acceptance". Finding some peace in her words.

That hole of my bestfriend being gone is still there though. I find myself awfully lonely. I managed to alienate myself from damn near everyone over the years. Despite our vicious relationship and not really being there for one eachother emotionally, I still love and miss her. I think I always will in some respect. I had an idea of growing old together.

I sure wanted to be a father. I hope I am doing the right things to invite that into my life again. I read a bit recently that went "rough seas make for good sailors". I certainly don't feel like I'm anywhere close to healed, but I think I'm making my way back to safer waters.