Mediate?

Gattsama · 2026-01-18T07:54:57+00:00

It's very important to remember that true AI does not exist. There's nothing intelligent about the machine learning language models that are currently out there. They're just Google searches that happen to be able to talk and complete sentences.

Garbage and garbage out, and they are there to validate you for the most part. They can be excellent if you just want to crunch numbers; they are horrible for actual advice or therapy.

fiddsy · 2026-01-18T00:01:13+00:00

OK chatgpt is great - but you also need to be super careful.

Its directive is to essentially validate you first and foremost.

So you need to prompt it to give zero validation and view/advise from a completely neutral standpoint etc - just cold hard facts but you also then need to feed it with as much information as possible so it doesn't become bias.

Perfect example is my wife vs me both put forward proposals.

My wife put in her fears, her perceived situation, asking entitlement(s), etc etc and she was fed absolute bias and validation.

When I used it, I made sure I had prompt it to give fair, balanced and neutral responses based on how a mediator would in a negotiation.

I then input ridiculous amounts of information from financials, earnings, spendings to parenting to emotional impacts - i mean, i even put in our entire history and got it to build non bias psychological profiles of us both.

Doing this at such a deep level let me build some extremely fair proposals with flexible areas for negotiation and areas i should stay strong on - it also points out areas of most likely contention due to her psychological profile and helps me navigate wording around those parts to avoid triggering her.

Chatgpt is a tool - its only as good as the prompts and information you input.

Anyway - mediation should always be the first step if amicable. Only people who truly win in divorce are the lawyers.

BuilderOk8069 · 2026-01-17T21:57:32+00:00

We are going the mediation route as of now. I have slight peace of mind in that, but I don’t for a second have full faith in it working. That being said, the option I took was this:

I prepared heavily for a free consultation with the lawyer I liked (research extensively before making that call, know what outcome you want, know the leverage you both have, and know that lawyers will almost always present it as if you have a chance at getting more)
Made the call stating explicitly that I was looking to hire them on a consultation basis, planning to use their services as mediation prep and review of outcomes before signing.
Asked whether they’d be on board to be my attorney if things escalated and mediation was no longer an option.
Paid the retainer ($3000 for non-disputed case). Haven’t used a penny of it yet. The law office keeps checking if I need their services. I keep telling them no and defining the moment (not timeframe) that I will.
Back to research, document gathering, and planning for mediation.

AI isn’t going to be a good substitute for a lawyer in your corner. It IS going to be a good substitute for telling you how to identify and prepare for the things you will negotiate towards. Doing that on your own will save you a lot of time (money) that the lawyer would charge you for anyway.

If your STBX is open to mediation vs litigation, it’s always a good start. Maybe there will be a happy surprise in it, but either way lawyer up in a responsible way that’s true to your values. Go into initial consultation with a ton of questions and info prepared. Dont treat it as a “getting to know each other” session…monopolize on the fact that it’s free.

P.s. keep in mind that her lawyer is saying exactly what yours would: she’s entitled to everything she wants and that you’re a jerk if you make it difficult when she files. It’s how they each get $50k from a $6k retainer.

familymanlikesfamily · 2026-01-17T15:29:03+00:00

ChatGPT is useful for many things. But its always given me soft strategy. Ive also seen it change probable outcomes very quickily.

You cant lean on it 100%. You wont be homeless. Lean on your brothers here for advice and consult with lawyers.

EnvironmentalRate853 · 2026-01-17T10:19:02+00:00

I use AI a lot for my divorce planning - but it never ever trumps my lawyer.

AI is great, but very flawed and it can easily mislead.

Start a new thread or try or new AI platform (eg gemini) and see how different it is.

But get a lawyer,

warwww · 2026-01-17T02:22:53+00:00

Why do you fear being homeless?

North-Permit-1021 · 2026-01-17T02:15:32+00:00

Be prepared my guy, tough road is ahead and imo chatgpt is great but always remember that its AI i suggest you ask a human instead if you want suggestions since chatgpt has never been in a divorce situation lol

upvotersfortruth · 2026-01-17T00:46:36+00:00

What you need to do is prepare for the hearing. Preferably hire a lawyer and let them get a continuance. Outside of a fighting a TRO, this is a key part of the case because it sets the money, parenting time, etc. for the rest of the case and ends up being the most likely result. Mediation is a weak play and what happens if they say, “no” we want to proceed with the hearing.

Title	Mediate?
Author	NoIdeasNoSolutions
Upvotes	3
Comments	12
Date	January 16, 2026 11:27 PM UTC (6 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1qevxfs/mediate/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/mediate.1571308 https://theredarchive.com/post/1571308

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