My wife and I separated at the end of May. I’m currently living out of a shitty hotel room while she continues to live at our house with the kids. Here’s my extremely fucked up situation:

  1. The wife and I own a house together (we’re both on the deed) but she stays at home with our two little boys, so all the bills, utilities, mortgage etc. I’ve always been responsible for.

  2. Despite paying for bi-weekly marriage counseling sessions for five months, I discovered that my wife was having an affair with one of her best guy friends at the end of May this year. She said the affair had been going on for 3 months. I found out later that he was still married himself, so between the two of them they blew up two families in about two months time. She’s still with him.

  3. Within the last two weeks, my 4 year-old told me that the guy has moved into the house without my knowledge or consent. He said that “he lives with us now because he can’t go back to his family, he needs a new house.”

I’ve gone by the house a couple of times and snapped photos of his SUV in the driveway: apparently he’s also working remotely out of my house with the internet I’m paying for.

I’m afraid to go back to the house because i don’t want to be seen—but if I can establish in court that they are living together, then she must forfeit alimony.

This legal strategy is preventing me from calling my kids or asking to drop by and see them because I can’t let her know that I know her boyfriend is there.

I’ve thought about hiring a PI, but cash is tight. Anyone have any suggestions on how to establish that he’s living with her while minimizing my presence in the neighborhood?