Need some suggestions on my situation

Medium_Message_224 · 2024-10-10T18:35:38+00:00

Just a thought. Can you buy a house you own. Let her live rent free she just has to pay utilities until kids are 18 then use it as an investment property and rent out or sell it and pocket the profit? If rent is same amount as alimony, you are basically buying an investment instead of have a pure cash drain like alimony. She gets stable housing and a 7-year runway to get her life back on track.

Pretty-Okra4530 · 2024-10-10T02:28:54+00:00

Pay alimony.

DivorceRecoveryMen · 2024-10-09T23:31:46+00:00

Happiness has no price. Kids are better in two happy houses than one unhappy one. You'll be paying, but so worth it in the end. I had to recover over the years, hated it at first but happiness made it all worth it. Trust me. Worried about money, don't - it is what it is. Courts will decide for you. Get ready for a big hit. Keep those realistic expectatons.

This_Train340i · 2024-10-09T13:00:55+00:00

Alimony is going to gut your financial future, and be a substantial permanent windfall for your STBX. She will have no worries paying for a place of her own and taking care of bills. That will be your worry, and your burden, to keep her financially stable.

Alimony is indentured servitude and should be illegal

Sea_Emu_4259 · 2024-10-09T07:16:42+00:00

I urge you to NOT move out. It is 101 Divorce Men classc mistake Full details here

probebeta · 2024-10-09T06:30:20+00:00

One thing I can say is that amicable divorce is a myth, especially when money is on the line. If you already argue this much while married expect the worst when you're divorcing her. Having said that, I think you should try to keep things amicable but plan for the worst. Get the best lawyer but be mindful that they might want to drag this on too. A good lawyer will tell you what judge is most likely going to do and that should go e you a ballpark what your deal might look like. If you can get a better one between you and her somehow then I'd take it.

Cross_22 · 2024-10-09T03:24:11+00:00

Spousal support has no automatic end time in CA, but can be modified via court orders in the future. Spousal calculations are based on recent incomes, however your attorney could try to argue that those need to be modified either because your recent earnings were an outlier or because she is not making an effort of finding a job that pays market rate. All other assets acquired during marriage (401k, house, investments) are assumed to be sold off and split 50/50 if you go to court. Your attorney could set up an alternate contract, e.g. she keeps house and you keep the rest.

Child support calculations are based on time split between the parents. 70-30 split would mean she spends more time with the kids and gets more money.

upvotersfortruth · 2024-10-09T02:51:41+00:00

Have twin boys aged 11yrs.

Same here.

RE: alimony - no one likes to write that check but under these facts, you can assume you're going to have to pay something. The questions are: whether it's temporary or permanent, modifiable or non-modifiable, monthly or lump sum.

Alimony is basically up to the agreement of the parties in light of what a court "would likely" order if the issue were contested. Personally and professionally, I'm a fan of a lump sum buyout either with cash or a disproportionate distribution of assets - then its done forever. But one of the conditions applied to alimony is that it ends if the ex remarries (or cohabitates - depending on the agreement or law), so if that's a likelihood, then perhaps lump sum isn't as attractive. Of course both parties can also irrevocably waive alimony - which would be the holy grail in your situation.

My 2 cents.

Good luck and talk to a lawyer sooner rather than later.

GigaFastTwin · 2024-10-09T02:50:20+00:00

Similar boat in mid flight here in CA. You can run the CA Child Support calculator online for free. Plug in your income and hers, chose Santa Clara county at the bottom - most liberal for spouses (so worst case scenario for you). I’m married for 12.75 years, got her to 8.5 years on alimony at ~$1,170. She’s not touching 401K or pension. Those are coming out of my house equity. I’m in for the long game. Retirement accounts are compounding and will be few $M when want to retire. I make around $200K, she’s more like $80K. Two kids, also twin boys - 10. Child support goes to 18 and HS graduation. Good luck man! We’ll get through this. DM if you want to ping-pong more ideas.

TXJohn83 · 2024-10-09T02:38:02+00:00

If you can, move to a low COL area without alimony... Might I recommend Texas?

Sell it as a fresh start etc, live in Texas for six months then file... Bame your alimony is gone. Also, it will allow you to be in a rental when things are filed and its a lot easier deal with cash than property.

Title	Need some suggestions on my situation
Author	Komark10
Upvotes	5
Comments	25
Date	October 9, 2024 1:50 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1fzgkh6/need_some_suggestions_on_my_situation/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/need-some-suggestions-on-my-situation.1532497 https://theredarchive.com/post/1532497

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