Question

jgoodstein · 2021-08-03T14:53:04+00:00

DO NOT LEAVE the house, move into a different room, but DO NOT LEAVE. Also tell her 50/50 split of the kids is NOT negotiable. File for divorce ASAP. And get the protections you need (she can’t run, take the kids, etc.)

cloudburr · 2021-08-03T15:01:44+00:00

Get a lawyer.

Stay in the house, let her threaten to leave. You will have much better chance of 50/50 custody if you have the house as its already a stable environment.

Not sure where you are, but in most places finances and kids custody are separate, so shes being an idiot and deliberately trying to mix them up.

Stay strong.

sicrm · 2021-08-03T15:58:58+00:00

here’s one of the positives of getting a divorce, you don’t have to listen to her anymore.

you can put your interests first (you should never stop especially if it’ll also help your family) and talk to your lawyer before making any major moves.

25_years · 2021-08-03T14:37:39+00:00

Well, jeez, dude, tell us more. Do you love your kids? Do you want shared custody? Do you agree with her assumption that mom always gets full custody when there's a divorce?

You're asking us to pick one of HER two options? What about what you want? What's important to you? Believe it or not, you have SOME voice in your own divorce, some sovereignty, some dignity, some vote.

JWStrokeme · 2021-08-03T16:05:17+00:00

Talk to a lawyer, keep as little contact with her as possible ensure you record all conversations from here on out dont agree to anything yet. Stay in the home and don’t leave sleep on the couch separate room etc and tough it out. File ASAP

vabab8 · 2021-08-03T16:20:06+00:00

Why is it you are letting her dictate terms? If you are in an agreement then agree, if not then COUNTER OFFER. Remember the axiom of negotiation: "HE WHO WANTS it less wins".

Throwaway4120213 · 2021-08-03T16:25:29+00:00

As others have said - do not listen to your ex! What she wants is not your concern anymore. Get a lawyer ASAP. Do not leave the home without your lawyer’s approval and a custody schedule in place.

Once you have retained and consulted a lawyer - tell her you are staying in the house. The kids are staying in the house. She is welcomed to move out and find a new place and you with your lawyer will work with her on a temporary custody schedule that will allow the kids to spend time at her new place provided it is safe and kid-appropriate.

WartimeDad · 2021-08-03T17:32:39+00:00

Begin recording every conversation you have with her. Calmly explain that what is best for the children is 50/50. Tell her you would prefer her to leave the house (assuming you want the house). Tell her you are not going anywhere unless the 50/50 with kids is agreed. Also tell her it will be 50/50 for all financial settlements. Again, record every conversation.

SlainFunicle · 2021-08-03T18:53:13+00:00

Let her leave do not leave, then file for full custody, get a Var and record everything from now on, I would go as far is to setup Cameras in the house hidden of course.

lemmingsrevenge · 2021-08-03T19:58:42+00:00

Get a lawyer and file. Listen to your lawyers advice. You don’t control her, but you don’t have to let the children leave.

You have as much right to the children as she does.

SirOssis · 2021-08-03T20:44:18+00:00

Get a lawyer.

Do nothing else until you have spoken with one.

Source: in the middle of a divorce after 20 years together.

rmorlock · 2021-08-03T22:15:03+00:00

I can't add any more words of wisdom than what's already been said but I can say we are here for you man. We all know how much this sucks and how the deck is stacked against you.

Funny_Wolverine_9 · 2021-08-03T23:14:06+00:00

Whatever you decide to do, you must audio/video record everything. False allegations are exponential during separation.

Also, contact a lawyer asap.

CHEPO1966 · 2021-08-03T23:20:15+00:00

The first thing, do not do or such about getting out of the house, she is using your children, to opyener your house, is manipulative, keep firm, in custody 50/50 and if you have a lawyer, fight for the main one, if you You leave in the house you will repent every day of your life, do not let yourself be manipulated with the children.
You should tell a bit of history, to be able to issue an opinion, with a clearer jucian,

pegleg_legal · 2021-08-04T14:32:53+00:00

Under what authority?

Title	Question
Author	freddii5
Upvotes	3
Comments	18
Date	August 3, 2021 2:32 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/ox4p5v/question/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/question.816337 https://theredarchive.com/post/816337

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