Man, I go through some high and low moments. I feel like she left and much of my reason for anything left with her. I remember being young and so ambitious and even excited about the future I met her and I still felt that way but now it was our future and I was excited to start a family and build a home. Then after I threw her the dream wedding she wanted she left me and Im pretty sure she monkey branched. Now Im 32 going on 33 and I feel like I now have to start over and feel like the clock is ticking and I’m getting old. I really wanted to start a family, now idk if that will ever happen and I feel like such an idiot and loser at this point. All I have left is a dead end job, a ficus plant, and apartment. I wish I was younger, most of my friends are settling down it seems and I have to start over and I didn’t want to, I wanted someone to do life with and now that window is closing and it took a lot of energy away from and I feel drained.