Seeing the Children

ToughPill · 2026-01-17T04:38:29+00:00

If you violate an order or provide anything in writing that can be used against you- expect it to be. She very badly wants you to violate the order because then she can stand in front of the judge and say that you’re exactly what she said you were.

Best response to an RO is to obey it, then later tell the judge that she was dishonest about you in order to obtain it. ROs are freely and cheaply given out because the judge defers on caution. But if you behave and give no cause then it makes her look bad, especially if there are other areas she is lying about provably.

The biggest mistake you can make is behaving like she said you would because that tells the judge he probably didn’t go far enough in the first place if you disobey orders.

Her trying to extort agreement for temporary orders and threatening to cut the kids off looks like shit. You should ask your lawyer whether you can file a motion for temporary relief so that you can tell the judge what she is doing. You want the judge to see you coming to the court for a solution rather than trying to “take care of it yourself”. Cutting kids off from contact is getting into emergency motion territory.

I know that you’re disappointed in the court system for giving you the RO in the first place. But I think you need to remember that the judge might have a “watch and see” mentality. I can’t promise that things will get better but I can promise you that they will get worse if you violate a RO.

Sorry Brother. Our kids deserve better.

North-Permit-1021 · 2026-01-17T03:26:32+00:00

Oh man thats plain awful, you have every right to see your kids, the court might favour all her demands but its really impossible for them to just plainly agree for you to not see your kids at all , unless you are serial killer and a cannibal then i dont see the point

Helpful-Paramedic463 · 2026-01-17T00:08:14+00:00

Why are you letting her throw you out of the house?

tellmemorelies · 2026-01-16T21:21:54+00:00

Over 30 years ago, this worked for me in my situation.

Today the laws have changed to punish the father with less visitation, more alimony or less assets.

Do this at your own risk, or get yourself a good honest lawyer who will tell you the truth about how a man gets screwed in family in the west and is able to give you advice accordingly.

Vokenhagen21 · 2026-01-16T16:32:07+00:00

Man i understand the urge to speed things up anyway you can. I was the same way, and she in the same way used the TRO to control the me seeing the children. Hopefully this is just the temporary RO, so whatever you do don't violate it. You'll be able to present your side at the hearing and get it dismissed. I moved back into the house, and a few months later was hit with another TRO so you need to be prepared for that. If given the opportunity, you should file a TRO on her.

Whatever you do, do not agree to any terms you do not want. If its anything like my case, court is going to be your only hope. I will tell you one thing my attorney wished i did (since you appear to be in the same spot with no temp custody order), my attorney wanted me to go get the children and keep them from the stbxw. If anything, it was to show that i could take care of the children just as well. Had both my kids been in school, i would have done that. But we have a 3 year old that just sits at moms side all day, so i would never have an opportunity to do that. Keep your head down, follow the TRO to the letter even if it means not being able to communicate with your children. You show you can follow a court order, because there's nothing that will lose you your children faster than a TRO violation. Good luck man.

ExcessivePlumbing · 2026-01-16T13:16:14+00:00

You hired the attourney to get an advice, right? Sounds like you have an advice.

I'd follow it.

I can relate to the urge to make you wife freak out and enjoy it. But you are fighting a long fight. It's not about having fun, it's about losing less.

gaelorian · 2026-01-16T12:48:38+00:00

Dude. Listen to your lawyer. Be patient.

ChipChip17 · 2026-01-16T12:31:35+00:00

Unless there's domestic violence or a risk of it I would definitely get back in your house.

SonOfTheAfternoon · 2026-01-16T12:27:54+00:00

Unless she’s got a restraining order against you, go live in your house and see your kids

Title	Seeing the Children
Author	beserkerbob
Upvotes	6
Comments	22
Date	January 16, 2026 12:12 PM UTC (6 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1qeeck9/seeing_the_children/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/seeing-the-children.1571273 https://theredarchive.com/post/1571273

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