Seemingly hopeless situation

ilan_ge · 2026-01-27T11:01:33+00:00

I noticed how you describe it as nothing but fighting and distance, and still talk about hoping it turns around. What stood out was the pull between wanting to leave and calling this family your purpose in the same breath. It feels like being caught between familiarity that anchors you and a situation that keeps resetting to zero. When you think about staying right now, what part of that feels most real—the hope for change, or the weight of what’s already known?

Ok_Tea30 · 2026-01-26T07:35:33+00:00

This sounds draining as hell. When every word gets twisted and the past is always used as a weapon, it keeps you stuck and second guessing yourself. Hoping it’ll turn around while the cycle keeps repeating wears you down fast. Your daughter feeling it makes it even heavier. Wanting closeness and connection is normal, and being stuck in this in between state slowly breaks you down. It’s okay to admit this isn’t sustainable, even if you don’t know the next move yet.

upvotersfortruth · 2026-01-24T04:03:13+00:00

i am 37 she is 10 years older

That speaks volumes

Comprehensive-Rub207 · 2026-01-23T21:21:26+00:00

Well she said today that she's going to clean the house and she's going to leave with our daughter and she mentioned that I better be kind to her during these big changes

According-Designer15 · 2026-01-23T21:16:55+00:00

This sounds exhausting, and I'm sorry you're stuck in this pattern. The constant fighting, the distance, feeling like you're walking on eggshells while she's pulling further away....that wears you down over time, and it's clearly affecting your daughter too.

Chemical-Eye-1828 · 2026-01-23T15:51:10+00:00

This is painful but not impossible to overcome. It sounds like a great opportunity to discover what needs beyond the obvious is not being met. If you’re willing to be curious about what needs your wife wants fulfilled in your marriage. If you’re willing to self reflect and understand what parts you need to take ownership for it can be a huge help to your partner. If you’re willing to do the work on yourself to improve as a man and husband that can be transformative in a most productive and positive way!

I hope you both can turn this around for the best.

1millionBURNINGsuns · 2026-01-23T14:08:12+00:00

It’s very important you see a therapist alone. Loneliness is so painful and needs to be addressed. You can’t argue about this with her or try anything. With the situation as you describe it all you can do now is work on you. Love yourself enough to know that you need to talk with someone. Make the time and spend the money. You deserve more love. Start by giving some to yourself.

If you’re seeing someone already maybe it’s the wrong type of therapy or therapist. Doesn’t sound like you need meds or a diagnosis etc you need something deeper and more focused on love and support. Idk but you can’t fix or help her is the main thing. And you can be divorced and have a better life and your kid can be happy. It’s all in the how and with the right intentions.

Comfortable-Angle660 · 2026-01-23T13:17:52+00:00

She’s cheating bud.

MonkeyBranchBuster · 2026-01-23T11:06:26+00:00

One thing I learned from my divorce is to walk away when she makes your life harder, not easier.

Stayed for the kids, like an idiot. Took all the mental damage being miserable for years and overthinking while she denied intimacy and companionship because she screwed around, which I found out later.

Don't get married again, protect your assets in your next relationship. Focus on your kid.

Ok-Anything-3605 · 2026-01-23T05:47:19+00:00

Unresolved childhood trauma from my wife’s past was what killed my marriage. 12 years and 3 young kids. I’d encourage her to focus on the therapy, my wife did not want to and I regret not pushing harder. Separation might be best so she can focus, set some boundaries, try individual therapy yourself maybe

Comprehensive-Rub207 · 2026-01-23T05:21:17+00:00

Every night i have hope that tonights gonna be the night......nope... We argue insted. Another nail in coffin, it sucks. Hell i went and got my haircut the other day just so i could talk to a woman and maybe she woukd get close enogh where i could feel her body heat lol all that just because i dont feel like im loved, respected, and needed then i felt like a perv for looking at her tits lol if things were goid at home i would not if had to do that

North-Permit-1021 · 2026-01-23T05:20:45+00:00

That sounds disorienting, especially when things shift without explanation.

Ok_Tea30 · 2026-01-23T05:16:47+00:00

That sounds exhausting and lonely. You are stuck between loving your family and slowly disappearing inside the cycle. Separation does not mean giving up, sometimes it is the only way to protect your sanity and your daughter from constant tension. Wanting connection and intimacy does not make you wrong, it makes you human.

Title	Seemingly hopeless situation
Author	Comprehensive-Rub207
Upvotes	8
Comments	54
Date	January 23, 2026 5:13 AM UTC (6 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1qki0nh/seemingly_hopeless_situation/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/seemingly-hopeless-situation.1571778 https://theredarchive.com/post/1571778

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