so how do you do the final goodbye

SweatySpecialist · 2022-10-02T02:50:12+00:00

You have kids, there is no goodbye. Hopefully you can remain civil and use those years together as a foundation for a great relationship.

ThrowAwayAccount__0 · 2022-10-02T03:56:26+00:00

Closure comes from within, not from your ex.

Every time I tried having some goodbye I left feeling like shit because my ex was manipulative. It was only later I realized I was just wishing something else would happen.

But the reality is your relationship is over, and there's nothing but chaos waiting you if you go back and try to do anything.

It's over. Work on looking forward, stop trying to stay in the past.

47omek · 2022-10-02T05:26:07+00:00

Moving away from your kids for the "job transfer" would be a massive mistake. Do not move out until you have a custody order giving you 50% parenting time. You're worried about all the wrong things here, who fuckin cares how you "say goodbye"

upandatom85 · 2022-10-02T03:07:56+00:00

Seems like you're looking for some kind of closure. I'm quite sure some of us don't get that.

James1933-75 · 2022-10-02T02:04:35+00:00

Did you get your money out of the house? Just walk out, you don't need to say anything to her.

CaliDude75 · 2022-10-02T03:40:24+00:00

Other than a few off-site meetings, I rarely saw my (now ex) wife in-person after the day I told her I wanted a divorce. Our house was undergoing renovations, so we necessarily had to have conversations and meetings with contractors about material selection, etc. But she consciously avoided being in the same place as me at the same time for the most part. We have had civil phone conversations since, but there was never a grand, ceremonial "goodbye."

No kids in our case, so that won't be an issue.

San_Ra · 2022-10-02T05:01:01+00:00

No "big goodbye" just packed the car said ill pick the kids up after school tuesday enjoy the rest of your day

Excellent-Formal-662 · 2022-10-02T11:21:43+00:00

I didn’t have kids. I told her I needed to live somewhere else. We hugged. I packed my things. Told her “we had a few laughs didn’t we” turned and walked out the door. Haven’t seen her since

CB33isGMC · 2022-10-02T14:58:24+00:00

You are asking the wrong question.

Do not run from this situation! It will only make your outcomes much worse.

Don’t let her punk you out of your place.

If she has already moved out file asap and try to get temporary parenting agreements in place.

This is going to be a rough ride no matter what you do. Stay and manage the process.

akihonj · 2022-10-02T17:15:53+00:00

For me there was far too much I wanted to say and because of what she did I was far too angry.

I chose to not say a word. Shame really because at the end when we went to the solicitor to sign the final documents she wanted a hug, what kind of psychopath does that.

Objective_Problem_90 · 2022-10-05T09:46:21+00:00

If one has kids, there isn't a final goodbye. You will still have to deal with her on a monthly basis. In my own experience, I guess the "goodbye" for me in the marriage status was when I was packing up my car to leave the house and move into my own apartment. It was kind of a weird situation, she was there, working at home, along with her mom, who was watching our son. Neither of them helped, nor said goodbye. I hugged and kissed my little boy, said a prayer for him and his safety knowing I couldn't see him daily anymore and left. That was over 2 years ago. Things do get easier as time goes on.

Title	so how do you do the final goodbye
Author	tdwriter2003
Upvotes	11
Comments	14
Date	October 2, 2022 1:44 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/xtc83q/so_how_do_you_do_the_final_goodbye/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/so-how-do-you-do-the-final-goodbye.1133169 https://theredarchive.com/post/1133169

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