Talk to stbx or just file?

PriorityBubbly8854 · 2024-05-02T23:28:48+00:00

Bro just get everything ready and file. I gave my wife a separation agreement and she never signed it, then she took my kids, left, and filed a week or so later. She also claimed DV when it was a complete lie.

Reflog1791 · 2024-05-02T21:21:21+00:00

2 if it cannot be salvaged. Your reasoning for #2 is correct.

In my case I did #2 and had new living situation ready. It worked like a charm.

To get some custody without temporary orders I used reverse psychology. I said, my turn to party, you can watch the kid. My toddler was dropped off that night 🤣

A few days later I worked an informal custody schedule around my golf league. That schedule was memorialized in the decree and is still in place 5 years later and it works very well for me. The CS didn’t change with parenting time in my locale so I got 3 days a week. I consider it a nanny payment and a reasonable one at that.

The CS (same amount as you) is a non factor in my life. I don’t even have to check my bank account anymore because all the money she was wasting was well over the CS amount. My income has risen by more than the annual CS amount in the last 5 years.

captainchippsixx · 2024-05-02T21:10:06+00:00

No. You should have everything lined up. Everything. Everything! Lawyer, living arrangements. Assets to the penny. Alerts on accounts, emergency fund, change passwords Write the plan work the plan.

That includes being prepared for false accusations.

Then you tell your family. Then you call her dad. Then you tell her. Then be ready for some bullshit. Record record record

Moms_Sketti88 · 2024-05-02T18:16:45+00:00

In the same boat my friend. Hired and attorney finally, and going from there. I tried to be civil and tell mine, resulted in her attacking me and going bat shit crazy. She’s begging me to stay..

dday_throwaway3 · 2024-05-02T17:53:47+00:00

She may even create issues like false abuse or DV cases to prevent me shared 50/50 parenting.

Then you better file first. If she files DV after that, the judge is more likely to see the bullshit that it is.

shcma · 2024-05-02T17:08:58+00:00

Like my attorney said “if your marriage is over, just file”

Letting her know what’s going on only hurts you. Be civil, calm, and calculated but look out for what’s best for you and your kid. Set up cameras if your worried about DV claims and can’t leave the house. Record everything

Noobinpro · 2024-05-02T17:03:34+00:00

Meet with a lawyer and file first. Do not let her know what is going on, pretend like everything is okay. Hit her hard and fast.

DivorceTA1988 · 2024-05-02T16:01:25+00:00

I am fortunate I did not have to deal with false allegations and I haven’t had custody issues. However if you are already thinking she’s willing to go there I would go talk to a lawyer, get your ducks in a row and file without saying a word. It doesn’t sound like there’s anything to save anyway.

Title	Talk to stbx or just file?
Author	waittimes_fyi
Upvotes	2
Comments	39
Date	May 2, 2024 3:39 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1ciiso9/talk_to_stbx_or_just_file/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/talk-to-stbx-or-just-file.1517161 https://theredarchive.com/post/1517161

Comments

2 if it cannot be salvaged. Your reasoning for #2 is correct.