I had my 3rd temporary orders hearing today (50M) for our two middle schoolers. I don't know why I expected anything different, but nothing changed regarding placement. I've had some previous posts, so I won't go into all of the details again. The system is illogical and broken.

As men, we are told to show up, be present, be emotionally intelligent, love deeply, provide, protect, and share all chores. That doesn't seem unreasonable to me. In fact, all of that came very natural to me. But, when I could not longer endure a loveless marriage with an avoidant/dismissive/narcissist, I had to get out for my own sanity. What did my parenting mean in the eyes of the court system so far? NOTHING.

I get them one evening and one overnight per week. Are you f**king kidding me? There is NO father in our circle of friends that is more present, involved, or engaged than me. NONE. Even the stay at home dad we are friends with doesn't go to as many school events as I do. My STBXW hurled outlandish accusations with zero proof during the first few hearings and my lawyer barely had a chance to respond. It's the dumbest set-up in the world. You get one hour to say whatever the hell you want, without any proof, and one stupid family commissioner gets to decide the placement of my kids. You can't cross-examine or challenge anything that is said. And, these orders remain in place until the actual court hearing before a real judge. But, now a guardian ad litem has been appointed to interview the parents and the kids and other relevant parties, but THEY are nothing but a lawyer looking for extra work. They are not psychologists or social workers.

In addition to barely having any time with my kids, I'm now responsible for a child support amount that, since it's all based on a formula, is the maximum amount.

The whole thing is joke. In the state I live, the presumption is 50-50 placement. Without proof of abuse or addiction or some other very serious behaviors, there is no reason to have it be anything other than that. But, since my awful STBXW is so angry that I left her, she has taken the kids' understandable sadness from the divorce and weaponized them against me, especially my daughter. And the transparent manner in which she has done it has meant NOTHING to the commissioner.

TLDR: The family court system is a f**king joke