Update from my earlier post this week.

My wife (30 F) this morning messaged me asking for me to help her get to the station on time for her train...

I immediately called her back and asked what kids going on. I told her if she wanted to separate that there will be none of this help going forward. It is a decision of her making, if she wants me to do this she needs to stop the separation, take stock and allow us to fix things.

Surprise surprise, I helped as I knew that the subtext was that the kids weren't going to be at school on time and I had to ensure they got the education they need. I did that and got back to confront this behaviour and request as a whole.

I got back and asked her again, if she wants me to help that she needs to talk to me and we need to resolve whatever problems she feels we have.. Knowing that she has an event this weekend, she is not at home as I have the kids (which she is forcing me to go seven days without the children), I have issued an ultimatum.

Sunday when she returns, she needs to decide whether she wants this or not. Whether there is any chance of reconciling or not, before the damage is done to us, the kids and the wider family. I am considering talking to a solicitor, financial advisor and my therapist about this whole issue and what I should do.

I have already had the kids tell me 'mummy doesn't want to look after me' (4 F), 'I want to be with you as you play Pokemon cards with me' (6 M) and when asked what they wanted, my son said 'mummy and daddy not to split' (6 M). I just was asking generally about this evening and got THAT response.

Several friends have told me to leave her to stew without my help and some have told me to leave her. Her friends are telling her she should have left me ages ago. Obviously friends will support each of us and align to us, but I find it hard to believe that someone genuinely thinks she should split up over me supporting her to become a fully fledged doctor.

What I just don't get is that I gave up my career for a stronger family unit than I had growing up and she picked career time after time and now seems to be wanting something else. I have a degree in child development and a teaching qualification. I am living through the hell of my own understanding, analysing every moment. Now I am using it, but not for a good reason.

Again, sages of the internet, does anyone have any advice about presenting this ultimatum and getting her to give us and the family another chance.

TL:DR - Wife wanted help, I questioned whether she wanted a separation or not. Ultimatum issued, Sunday we talk and I want to know what she genuinely wants and for her to stop stringing me along in the hope of reconciliation. Help please 😔