This afternoon I sat down with the wife (30F) following the drama of the last few days and thought we could talk through some of the issues.

I put it out there that nothing has actually happened on my part, no infidelity or violence, nothing at all. Why can't we try to get past this bump in the road and come back stronger as a couple (massively paraphrasing).

When I asked what she actually wanted she said that someone who earns the same as her, is able to put in the same amount of effort in cleaning and kids and someone with goals. Again, I ultimately put my career on hold to allow her to work without the worry of the kids and their childcare.

However, I confronted her about the possibility of her being with anyone else she got a little bit sheepish. I know she likes someone of the same sex as she disclosed this to me a month or two ago. Clearly I must be option B, as she won't help to fix us.

I guess it will be a separation situation after all. Thanks for the advice everyone, if anything changes I'll be back ☺️

TL:DR - wife not wanting to try, all about money but sheepish when talking about the likelihood of someone else. EXHAUSTED!