What Do I Do?

Ok-Cause1108 · 2026-03-31T16:54:37+00:00

Only one thing to do....you pick yourself up and move forward. Luckily us men were designed specifically for that purpose so it will come naturally once you get some momentum going.

UrAristotle · 2026-03-31T16:12:13+00:00

I posted this a couple of months ago about how I stayed centered when everything blew up.

https://www.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/s/HvggD2cHIF

My immediate reactions.

Get back to your faith if you are a believer. Go to church. Turn to God.
Set a routine. Make working out a key part of it. Non-negotiable.
Keep your daughter first in the process. Since being in a two-parent home is no longer the option, what is the next best thing?
Lawyer up. She is no longer your friend or your partner. Don’t give her anything thinking it buys you some leverage later. It doesn’t.
Don’t believe anything she tells you now that seems like it will make it easier. She’ll start acting in her best interest.

FirelineJake · 2026-03-31T13:28:30+00:00

Went through something almost identical, no family nearby, freshly unemployed, felt like the floor just disappeared, and I won't lie to you, the first few months were the hardest thing I've ever survived. But you said they'll have to kick you out before you quit, so hold onto that, your daughter needs you present and fighting, not perfect, just there.

upvotersfortruth · 2026-03-31T04:08:52+00:00

This isn’t sudden for her, she’s probably been looking for an excuse for a good long while. But it’s new to you, although not totally unexpected from your other comments, so you need to go through the grieving process - don’t expect sympathy from her - for the grief, you’re right - you’re on your own. Well, you got us old lumps of coal.

amblix · 2026-03-31T02:03:27+00:00

She’s not your world and you acting like it probably drove her away even more. Focus on yourself brother

koskesh122 · 2026-03-31T01:02:50+00:00

Well bud, join the club.

50% of all marriages end in divorce. 2nd marriages have 60% divorce rate and 3rd marriages 70% divorce rate.
90% of all divorces initiated by the women. • Child support, Alimony, your pension + retirement savings, government support + housing incentivizes them leaving you.
90% of custody awarded to mothers.
False allegations of abuse are prevalent in family courts. • You will be called abusive in order to stress you out so you give in to their unjust demands.

What to do now?

Settle your case ASAP. • The leeches (Judges, Lawyers, Therapists, Legal system will want to bleed you dry by leveraging your kids against you) The system gets paid by you fighting for you children.
Find a hobby.
Focus on your career/start a side hustle/Make more money.
Hit the gym daily.
Stay away from SINGLE moms at ALL costs and anyone who claims their ex was abusive. Do NOT raise another man’s child. You may end up being on the hook financially (Child support) for their kid if you leave.
Travel once a year.
Read books like No More Mr. nice guy
Open up the New Testament and start reading daily + listen to Charles Stanely on YouTube. • Learn to forgive your ex. This will set you emotionally and mentally free so you can begin enjoying life once again.

Immediate-Story2562 · 2026-03-31T01:01:55+00:00

You start by taking it one day at a time. Start focusing on getting your life together for yourself and your daughter. Realize that no one is coming to save you. It's up to you and you only.
What do you think rationally is your next step? Recovery? Job hunting?

No-Seaworthiness969 · 2026-03-31T00:34:32+00:00

Spend time with your friends. They will understand more than any family will

No-Seaworthiness969 · 2026-03-30T23:47:46+00:00

Let’s start with why is she leaving you? You sound like a devoted husband and father

NewWayToDig · 2026-03-30T22:28:54+00:00

DO NOT GET A JOB stick with whatever the status quo is. In your case you could get out without paying child support... it's a crazy high bill, much more than a kid needs.

ExtraLettuce555 · 2026-03-30T21:58:30+00:00

I’m so sorry man. When my wife left, I was broke and unemployed. Time is of the essence. Be functionally oriented and prioritize your needs. Right now it sounds like that is stability. In my case I used the now empty time and empty house to heavily focus on studying for my work certification, revising my résumé, and applying for jobs. My work is fully remote and doesn’t require me to leave the house most days. Depending on where you live, there may be social programs that you can take advantage of to help you stay afloat.

I listen to a lot of podcasts while I am at home because it makes me feel much less alone. When you are able, I strongly recommend getting involved in some sort of community whether it’s a hobby or volunteering for a good cause. Keeping busy is important for your mental health. I wish you luck on your journey

sveltecheese · 2026-03-30T21:55:38+00:00

The only thing you can do is go through. She is not your person any more. Focus on your daughter and find the joy in your life. I have been so lucky to see how unhappy I was when I was married. It took a few years to see it but it it’s so much better now. I am as broke as I have ever been and there is a ton of chaos in my life but I am lucky. You will find it.

rdwrer_711 · 2026-03-30T21:51:15+00:00

If you wife has money you will get half of assets and you can fight for alimony/child support. You will likely have to downscale and start making friends. Look at meet up for things to do. You can also volunteer to meet people. If you're religious you can go to church. Things will settle eventually, but it may take time. Be the best father you can be to your daughter.

Title	What Do I Do?
Author	BrandNewBagofDicks
Upvotes	21
Comments	32
Date	March 30, 2026 9:41 PM UTC (3 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1s84asc/what_do_i_do/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/what-do-i-do.1576774 https://theredarchive.com/post/1576774

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