What do you do to kill time while you're waiting for all these things to happen so it can be over already?

Character_Pop_6628 · 2026-01-08T11:48:32+00:00

I'm in YOUR boat man. Today especially. I called out sick from work, ate nothing and didn't get out of bed. 1.5 years in and I still have days like this. Waiting on lawyers. My mental/emotional timeline does not deal in anything other than immediate gratification. I'm working on it but, man, this is painfully drudgery. My advice to my son is "never get married" 0 stars, would not recommend.
One thing that helps is listening to podcasts about early explorers, sailors who would get caught in the wind-less areas in the Atlantic called Doldrums for weeks or months. The things they get up to during these times of torture help me to stay grounded. At least I don't have scurvy.

Immediate-Story2562 · 2026-01-08T04:32:54+00:00

Wish I could tell you that there are shortcuts. But there are none and no escaping. Cohabitation was the worst part for me. Much better now that we are not living together.
Just grind it out as best you can. Protect yourself by staying calm and composed. Grey rock so you don't get kicked out or worse they can call the police on you and falsely accuse you of whatever they like just to get you out.

RichardMcCarty · 2026-01-08T01:20:16+00:00

Just love your life and wait for better days. They are coming.

Illustrious_Can_7698 · 2026-01-08T00:14:42+00:00

Spend time with friends who are supportive and can listen for a while and then rotate so you don't tire them out. Seek temporary shelter somewhere else and see if your opponent will do the same so the burden is on both of you. Do stuff with your kids if you have any. Most of all: preoccupy yourself instead of brooding over what was, what could have been and what will not be now.

And if all else fails, remember that the universe truly does not care. Your pain at the moment, as real as it is, is merely statistics taken personally. With time, it will grow easier, just like if it had happened to someone in another city. Sure, it is tragic for them, you may even sympathize and share their pain, but ultimately you won't need to feel it. With temporal distance, you may even come to appreciate that comedy actually does equal tragedy plus time.

I am a year and a half into my own grief processing and while I am not ready to laugh about it yet, there are glimmers of light in the dark humour that sometimes slip through my lips and the pain seldom becomes overwhelming anymore. I miss the idea of what I thought I had more than the actual reality of it by now.

blankaccoutn77489 · 2026-01-07T23:40:29+00:00

I went for a trip to Vietnam and distracted myself with Bahn mi and cheap beer

Epic_Ranting_Man · 2026-01-07T23:40:07+00:00

Move out if possible. Otherwise, suffer through it the best you can.

Grafixx01 · 2026-01-07T23:36:18+00:00

We cohabitated for about 11 months before it was finalized. She moved out of the master bedroom that was downstairs and into a spare room that was upstairs which gave me full run to the downstairs. She wouldn’t be in the same room as I was so it was kind of easy for me.

Helpful-Paramedic463 · 2026-01-07T23:34:57+00:00

You just gotta suffer it for a bit. Found my wife of 20 years cheating on me with her co-worker. We cohabited for about 3 months while she waited for an apartment to be ready.

It was fucking horrible. I moved to the guest bedroom and felt like a criminal in my own house even though she blew everything up.

bankofgreed · 2026-01-07T23:26:18+00:00

Join the club. You can’t do anything except work on yourself. My STBX and I have been cohabiting for 8 months while we work through the divorce.

Bonsai-ninja · 2026-01-07T23:17:04+00:00

This is where I'm at currently. She's complaining that I haven't initiated a temporary order...except that she would have to agree to the things in a temporary order and she refuses 50/50 child custody. I myself do not want to be at the house with her anymore but I'm not moving until the settlement I've submitted gets approved by her and her lawyer.

Title	What do you do to kill time while you're waiting for all these things to happen so it can be over already?
Author	Podonkeyfkr
Upvotes	16
Comments	12
Date	January 7, 2026 11:13 PM UTC (7 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1q6v03o/what_do_you_do_to_kill_time_while_youre_waiting/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/what-do-you-do-to-kill-time-while-youre-waiting.1570660 https://theredarchive.com/post/1570660

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