Coming to acceptance: How do I detach for good?

AssistTemporary8422 · 2022-08-02T16:36:51+00:00

What you are talking about is emotional suppression and avoidant attachment which are unhealthy. If I told you to not think of a pink elephant, thats all you will be thinking about because suppression and avoidance don't work. How about you accept that you desire a relationship, but its probably not going to happen for a while, because you have some issues right now. However if you do things that makes a relationship more likely its possible you will find someone one day.

no_user_ID_found · 2022-08-02T16:26:29+00:00

Maybe you can try out a cabin up in Alaska and live entirely self sustaining. This will get your mind of sex because surviving the day will be your number one priority.

propyl21 · 2022-08-02T16:50:02+00:00

When you went into the red pill and internalised everything it had to offer, you inadvertantly killed the child within you. You also killed your innocence and sense of wonder.

No one mentioned this to you but there are always drawbacks. Now, you realise your mistake and want out. Unfortunately it's not that easy. The top comment nails it with the idea of self love to bring you back into the fold to which you've responded with: "bullshit" - which speaks volumes. The red pill kills off emotions and joy.

You've got to rebuild yourself for the good of yourself.

Venustarr_777 · 2022-08-02T18:31:14+00:00

I agree with Chocolatechiplemonade. Monks "are not trying to escape women and relationships". They do it for spiritual reasons. If that's not your motivation, I wouldn't try it. It'll lead to frustration imo.

vcreativ · 2022-08-02T16:13:44+00:00

I'm not convinced that such a way exists. The key is to address not the what but the why.

Many people here and in general project needs of their own onto others. That's needs they should learn how to fulfill themselves. Not only will they yearn for relationships/intimacy, they end up viewing them as necessary for survival. And they obsess over their possibility and by extension about anything with even the remotest possibility of affecting it.

The key is to understand that proper development of relationship to your self is far more important than any outside relationship. People may come and go in your life, you'll always stay. And the more at home with yourself you are, the more empathetic, loving, and giving you can be. Both with yourself and others.

Once your set within yourself the number of people you find attractive will actually dramatically diminish. Because you have a much higher resolution of what it is that you actually look for (not necessarily require) in another.

But at the heart of this lies a deep understanding of your self, your needs, desires, wishes, and pains.

SweelFor- · 2022-08-02T14:54:02+00:00

Why do you want to not think about women and relationships?

I suppose the people who truly do not think about women and relationships, are the one who never really cared about it to begin with. I'm not sure what purpose there is in pretending to not care about it, if you are someone who does

ChocolatChipLemonade · 2022-08-02T18:11:07+00:00

Become monk-like if you want to sign up to be a monk. Otherwise, don’t try to think like anything. Be your natural self. It just comes down to using the self-awareness to stop trying to change and tweak yourself, and that everything will work out. It always does.

xvszero · 2022-08-03T00:47:16+00:00

Honestly, looking at your posts in here, you're not even close to detaching for good. You need to work on adjusting your mindset first.

Deidara-katsu · 2022-08-03T02:43:06+00:00

This sounds mgtow

unlivedbread · 2022-08-02T17:56:11+00:00

Go and actually interact with women. Watch their behavior and draw your own conclusions about their wants and needs.

Q-9 · 2022-08-02T23:19:22+00:00

Start treating everyone as you would treat a man. Women, children, boys. Don't take into account who you talk with and just talk same to everyone. It takes the power away from any assumptions on how you should behave and basically showing everyone respect the same time.

Grimmrhow · 2022-08-02T16:41:40+00:00

maybe try, over stimulating your brain with new activities, get so hooked up on these activities that your brain wont even consider the time to think about that person.

debatelord_1 · 2022-08-02T20:00:47+00:00

I've heard it gets better with age (40s-50s)

But ultimately you can't escape your desires and sexual drive. You'll just have to live with it. How old are you?

Naus1987 · 2022-08-02T23:03:41+00:00

It’s like those starving kids in Africa. We all know they’re starving. And any of us on Reddit have enough money to make a difference, but we choose not to.

Use whatever logic you use to not care about starving kids to not care about relationships.

You don’t have to surpress your feelings, just find a good coping mechanism.

For example, I don’t feed starving people, because I don’t want to spend money on others. Maybe you don’t want to spend money on women? Makes life easier. Just find an internal excuse to not care

2020mademejoinreddit · 2022-08-03T00:24:50+00:00

To not do something, you simply have to not do it. In body and in mind.

The best way to do this is to focus on yourself. YOUR happiness. What makes you happy? What makes you truly immerse yourself in something? Do that. Your brain will forget everything else and voila!

There's no magic pill or trick. Just simple psychology.

HarvestMonth · 2022-08-03T01:05:38+00:00

How about trying Martial arts? the energy that goes into sex is the same that goes into practicing martial arts.

Yesm3can · 2022-08-03T02:29:58+00:00

Meds. Look for medications that lower desire for sex as side effect. Something like beta blockers.

If you have money, do a lot of solo trips in nature, away from people.

Look for possibilities for homesteading. The sheer amount of insane work alone revolved around homesteading will keep you busy.

Most importantly, DO NOT LISTEN to naysayers here. You have the right to live a life without (or if you use their words, surpressing) your desire. You do not need to live a life wanting relationship. Some people do find peace in that (and society unfortunately treat people who had found peace without wanting relationships as something strange still. In 2022. Figures.)

Training_Passenger79 · 2022-08-03T18:28:12+00:00

If you want to become monk-like you have to study the monk life :)

What you’re looking for is “enlightenment”. People who are striving to reach enlightenment enjoy their solitude and don’t suffer from loneliness or the desire to have more than they do.

Get started on mindfulness and work your way up to meditation. I recommend the book “You Are Here” by Thich Nhat Hanh. It will help you get started immediately with useful, practical tricks you can use anywhere, any time.

Next, you may want to study the Buddhist concepts. You don’t have to believe them, or be a Buddhist, but study them and see for yourself whether they are logical and self-evident.

Either way, you’ll want to work your way up to meditation. Once you’re meditating in the basic sense, you can start to expand your mind with different kinds of meditation that will give you different sensations & mental heights.

All of this, if you really get into it, is going to enhance your senses, strengthen your cognition, improve your memory, sleep, reflexes, learning speed, concentration, and (if you do it correctly) your baseline emotions. Sometimes meditation can go wrong though, which is why it’s generally a good idea to find more experienced people to help, or educate yourself with good books like the one I mentioned.

I used to be a misandrist & getting into this stuff completely changed my life. I did end up choosing a life of solitude, and I’m very happy with my decision. My life feels really fulfilling now and I always feel like I’m discovering new levels of ability in myself. They give me confidence and a sense of excitement/curiosity for whatever may come next. I feel so much more empowered now in my life than I ever did before.

I started this stuff from an emotionally repressed state of mind, but learning it gave me the tools I needed to work on that. Lately I’ve felt more liberated than I have at possibly any other point in my life. The feeling is incredible. I also get nice tingly feelings in my head and body sometimes, I’m almost never bored, and I feel like I have mental superpowers. Lol.

These days I do a lot of “brain experiments” with myself using different methods related to meditation. They’re a lot of fun. Happy to share some with you if you’re curious!

I think, above all, aim to become a curious and inquisitive student of life. That is the person you will need to be in order to “abandon the ego” and become “monk-like”…in fact, maybe you should just start by trying to learn what the Buddhists mean when they say “ego”. That is where your suffering is coming from.

At some point, if you work on mastering your mind in this way, you will come full circle and realize that everything you thought about reality was wrong. Society brainwashed you. The truth is incredibly liberating…and rather than feeling like you’ve been hurt by people, you’ll feel compassion for them, because you’ll come to truly understand how deeply they suffer and how they are trapped in their own minds which control them.

Anyways, if all of that kind of sounds like what you want to achieve in your life, feel free to send me a PM! Maybe I have other suggestions you might like!

Title	Coming to acceptance: How do I detach for good?
Author	Sure-Lettuce5427
Upvotes	17
Comments	91
Date	August 2, 2022 2:45 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/wedk53/coming_to_acceptance_how_do_i_detach_for_good/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/coming-to-acceptance-how-do-i-detach-for-good.1126131 https://theredarchive.com/post/1126131

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