Curing Sexism

LilLogicBomb · 2022-10-29T07:40:12+00:00

Well, you know, we can start by asking how your relationship is with your Mother or if you have any trauma that comes from women specifically. Things like this can cause us to judge that sex differently than we normally would had we sought out help for the sex-based hurt that can linger in our subconscious (similar to how some women end up with "daddy issues").

I was like this with women too (still kinda am but we just have to work at it to undo it) and the head shrink nailed some deeply buried hurts I had not ever processed properly regarding the women in my life that were my guardians (for me, 3 of 4 of them either participated in abuse or enabled it without accountability, which only enraged me more).

This of course causes us to be hurt by their actions and then our distortions of perceptions and triggers can cause all that to manifest into these weird illogical biases that we can get untangled in therapy, but that's often where it'll start is for you to examine your past relationship with women, how badly they hurt you, when, etc. We're not born with that hate.

Usually you'll find some form of trauma or a lingering privilege that you don't see because we can develop these huge blinders when we're not exposed to things enough (think The Giver). We just have to make a choice to not want to be that way and expend energy and effort trying to change it.

https://everydaysexism.com/

bananaexaminer · 2022-10-29T15:45:16+00:00

One approach could be to avoid categorizing people as women vs men. Women are not all the same and neither are men. In conversations, you could try to focus on what the person is saying, what their interests are, etc without tying it to being a woman or man. If you remove these binaries, people are just people.

RedPillDetox · 2022-10-29T13:01:57+00:00

I mean, prefering to talk to men over women has nothing wrong unless you're prefering to stay away from women because you associate certain negative traits with women, and above all, generalize these negative judgements to all women instead of trying to individualize and getting to know her as a human being first. Other than that, i too prefer to talk to men, but it has nothing to do with sexism, merely most men have interests in common with me than women (more likely to like sports or things i'm into)...

mikayrodr · 2022-10-29T16:12:14+00:00

Please try therapy. I always recommend CBT.

Here’s why:

“The goal of CBT is to help you adapt and change your mindset and behaviors by reassesing distorted thought patterns.”

This is exactly what is leading to your sexism. A therapist trained in CBT will be able to help you do this. I recommend you find a male therapist because of your current feelings. They’ll probably also work in some homework for you around exposure to women to reframe how you think of us.

If cost is a concern, look for therapists with a sliding scale and talk to them about how often you can afford to meet. You can also look for graduate students who are looking for patients. This is probably the most affordable option but obviously they have less experience. That isn’t necessarily a bad thing, it just means things might feel rocky sometimes.

Depending on your employer you can also get like 2 three therapy sessions through an EAP, but those aren’t as personalized. You can also use HSA funds to pay for therapy if you have one — the only thing with this is that the therapy has to be related to a diagnosis, so you’d need to see a psychiatrist first to be diagnosed and therapy deemed a “medical necessity.” This is a huge pain so I’d go the first route with the sliding scale.

SweelFor- · 2022-10-29T09:33:20+00:00

I recommend you listen to these videos

https://youtu.be/MrGgZTTL6pc

https://youtu.be/EwULU0jceDw

https://youtu.be/d04-3YOZV6Q

kingpinkatya · 2022-10-30T06:12:32+00:00

Society. Lack of seeing the men in your life value the women in your life growing up. Your parents not explicitly teaching you to value women and what that does and does not look like.

sharedordaz · 2022-10-30T02:33:22+00:00

In my own experience girls ARE DIFFERENT to men, and not necesarily in a bad sense.

For example, videogames industry is a men industry. There are more men atracted to videogames than women. That doesnt mean women can't work at making videogames or be gamers, but is very uncommon.

On the other side, see fandoms of korean bands or series. Most of them are made by women, and even if i know men who enjoy k-pop, is uncommon.

I would tell you to work on enjoying to be with people that is different than you, because is more probable women will have different interests than you. Work to appreciate virtues and differences with the other people.

medlabunicorn · 2022-10-29T17:53:16+00:00

Preferring to talk to men isn’t what makes one a sexist. If you just like sports and beer and explosions, your friends will mostly be other men. That’s fine. What would be sexist would be to say that other interests, hobbies, etc are less valid human endeavors and interests, because they appeal more to women. It’s FINE to not like rom-com movies. It’s Not fine to say that rom coms are less valid as ‘art’ than action movies.

neomanthief · 2022-10-29T18:37:21+00:00

Why do you think you're sexist just because you would rather talk to men?

KindlyPizza · 2022-10-31T08:39:20+00:00

If you just do not speak to women (apart from in professional/business settings), do you really need to change anything though?

I don't generally speak to men unless in professional setting. Also saying hello or hello back to passing male neighbors or working colleagues. I don't do small talks with guys.

That is not something bad, is it?

2022-10-29T17:45:28+00:00

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shrek6666 · 2022-10-29T10:39:23+00:00

Genuinely wondering, but why do you have a need for making "equality"? It is just another philosophical concept being pushed by every institutional structure now. Media, schooling, etc. I don't think what you are feeling is inherently "bad", as this phenomenon is why men and women were always separated for activities in most cultures throughout history.

Embrace dimorphisms, not try to diminish it.

2020mademejoinreddit · 2022-10-29T20:34:47+00:00

Why do you think you're sexist?

Have you ever discriminated against women or men? Do you think women should be treated less than men or vice versa? Do you think either is superior to the other?

If not, then you're not sexist.

Title	Curing Sexism
Author	Potential-Snow7525
Upvotes	23
Comments	43
Date	October 29, 2022 7:26 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/ygd3mk/curing_sexism/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/curing-sexism.1137467 https://theredarchive.com/post/1137467

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