I still don't see how redpill or especially blackpill is wrong.

Lady_Beatnik · 2021-12-21T14:20:27+00:00

Because you're using your pain as an excuse to hurt and be cruel towards other people, and that's never okay. Women are not privileged objects with an easy life, they have just as many struggles with self-esteems, careers, jobs, safety, etc., as you, if not moreso. They have feelings and fears and needs, they don't just exist to either pleasure you or hurt you and it's wrong of you to think of them that way. No other human being (man, woman, or other) owes you their time, feelings, or body in order to make you feel better, no matter how legitimate your pain may be — that's why we don't force organ transplants.

It's also a hypocritical mindset. Think of it this way: I'm sure you know of several women who don't fit the ideal themselves. "Ugly," overweight, no real career goals, maybe on the older side, have a few kids from past relationships. They're probably just as desperate as you and might say yes to anyone. So why don't you ask out any of them?

Now think of it this way: If you were a "high quality man," handsome, rich, charming, confident, and you could have any woman you wanted... can you look me in the eye and honestly say that you would give an "ugly," overweight, dorky woman with no achievements in life a chance because she's a "nice girl"? You would honestly choose her over some supermodel? Would you really?

My guess is that your answer to both of those questions is "no." Redpillers often are this way, they complain about women not giving men like them a chance, but then they sneer at the idea of dating a "fat used up uggo." They expect women to lower their standards for them, but they refuse to lower their own standards for women, and then they act all confused and heartbroken as to why no one is giving them a chance as if they don't know damn well why from personal experience. They think it's different for men, and therein lies the problem: Redpill isn't about "hope" or feeling lowly, it's about having an undeserved sense of specialness and entitlement. You're so special that your hurt uniquely requires a girlfriend. You're so special that you need a high quality girlfriend. You're so special that when you don't get one you now have the right to take out your frustration on innocent people. Poor you.

But you're not special. No one is. That's not to say you don't matter, you're just not unique, your problems are no more complicated or worthy of crappy behavior on your part than anyone else's. When most decent people have a problem, they don't sit home and blame it on other humans, they get to work on fixing it.

You don't think you have confidence? Try challenging yourself a little bit every day. Take up a new skill, make an appointment, get a job involving talking to people. Anything that pushes your comfort zone until you become more confident.

You feel ugly? Try washing your face daily, washing and combing your hair, research men's fashion to see what sorts of clothes and accessories would look best on you. (And remember that confidence can often make up for any perceived "ugliness.")

You have no education? Try going to a local community college, or a free community center class, or take up a skill from one of the countless tutorial videos on YouTube, or going to the library and just reading some damn nonfiction books.

You want status? Earn it. Do something that makes people value you. That can be as simple as a job, volunteering for a good cause, or just making yourself a fun person to be around. Ask yourself what sort of person do you like to be around, and become that person.

You want a likable personality? Doing all of the above will naturally help you develop one, and it can't hurt to stop being hostile towards the world too.

All of these things are real world, doable solutions to your problems that don't involve blaming or hurting other people. They're not cope, they're solutions. And the catch? You have to accept that after all of that, you still might not get a girlfriend. But if you're doing it right, you won't want one that badly because you'll be happy with yourself. Why does that matter? Because a woman can never make you happy. Even if you got one, you would still be miserable, because you would still be every bit as allegedly ugly, poorly educated, and uncharismatic as you were before getting together (because she's not a goddamn fairy godmother who will turn you from a scullery maid into a princess) — the redpill actually isn't the red pill at all, it's the blue pill, an illusory lie about what will fix your life. Only you can fix your life, not anyone else.

JMacPhoneTime · 2021-12-21T13:45:42+00:00

What are examples of helpful "copes" that these pills teach you, and what are the "fake words that mean nothing"?

It doesn't take any "pilling" to know that this:

I'm ugly, low self-esteem and confidence, have no education, status, personality, etc.

Is going to give you trouble dating. You dont need to be pilled to recognize those as issues and work on fixing them.

As far as I understand the blackpill, it is a super unhealthy "cope" for that, because it seems to basically say "give up, you wont be able to change anything".

At least redpill suggests you can improve, it just adds so much other BS that it also leads to unhealthy "coping".

RedPillDetox · 2021-12-21T14:07:49+00:00

I'm ugly, low self-esteem and confidence, have no education, status, personality, etc.

If you're indeed all of those things, and aren't merely depressed and engaged in self-defeatedness (which from a probabilistic point of view you are because it's hard to fail at literally all of those things) then why would you need red pill or black pill? It's a completely blue pill (common sense) idea that you're gonna be set to fail in dating if you lack all of those things, so no point being part of the cult.

Inareskai · 2021-12-21T15:38:39+00:00

What 'copes' does the blackpill offer someone who believes themselves to be all the things you listed about yourself? Other than saying 'yes' - which isn't a 'cope'.

Coping is when someone 'deals effectively with a situation'. Doesn't sound like you (or any of these pill ideologies) deal with the situation at all, let alone effectively.

AntiVictimhood · 2021-12-22T03:17:48+00:00

I'm ugly, low self-esteem and confidence, have no education, status, personality, etc.

Ugly- If you truly are ugly, not a ton you can do with that without surgery. You can have great skin and work on a skin care routine to improve texture/quality. You can find a flattering hairstyle for your face. Keep your lips hydrated. Brush your teeth.

As for low confidence, this can be built. I had extremely low confidence and I was painfully anxious and awkward back in high school. Fast forward almost a decade later, and I have high confidence because I have achievements. I had developed and build a skill set that I'm proud of. I have a great education, I have learned 2 new languages, I workout consistently, I'm disciplined, I've worked on my social skills and know how to listen to others etc.

The only reason I have confidence is because I've done things and learned new skills that I'm genuinely proud of. Back in high school I didn't do anything with my life, so why would I have high self esteem and confidence? I wasn't good at anything and I hadn't built anything impressive that could bolster my self esteem.

Learn a skill. Practice your social skills. And if you think that's a dead end, then start working out. Learn to draw. Become a master in some topic. Do the things that would make you feel like an impressive person. And when you stick to that consistently, one day you'll wake up and feel pretty damn good. There are no guarantees that you'll have a life partner, but at least you'll have a set of accomplishments, interests, and points of fulfilment that will make you feel good. Perhaps on that path things will turn around.

Don't underestimate the power of a community and of friends. A relationship will not solve all your life problems. Being appealing to women will not erase this void you feel. Community and connection are important- but there are numerous ways to get that. A girlfriend isn't the only way to build connection and closeness.

As for education, status, and personality- these are all things that can be built. No one is born with an education. That is something you achieve. No one is really born with status unless it's by basking in the glory of their parent's achievements and legacy- which is not impressive. You can become educated, attain a level of status in some field, and develop your character through that process.

paputsza · 2021-12-23T05:28:29+00:00

It's kind of like a drug in that way. These movements fix you for a minute, but it fills you with toxicity. The fact is that no one has the answer to how you should go about dating, and you really can't look for the answer from a bunch of strangers on the internet about why you are single. If you actually want to be happier with a love interest in the next part of your life, you need to work it out yourself. Also, I realized that a lot of the incel communities are completely ignorant when it comes to what the opposite sex is interested in so they'll leach your self esteem for the sake of the brotherhood and give you new things to be insecure about. There's just too many men in these communities to actually infer what women find attractive based off of anime logic so they go off on wrist sizes and race without acknowledging bitter truths about particular men like with a guy not getting the girl because he sprays himself with onion juice. A group of straight men will just ignore outliers, which is sweet and considerate for that one guy, but toxic for the group's self esteem.

My_IQ_is_60 · 2021-12-21T14:52:50+00:00

Honestly the blackpill has actually been helpful to me in areas of life other than dating. Sometimes there is a great sense of catharsis in stepping back and saying 'this is out of my hands, there's nothing I can do about this'

You can do that and move on and it's fine, but the problem is that people often don't move on, they stay and obsess about how they're not in control of their own lives

And that makes total sense because being out-of-control in life can be very fucking scary, but the answer to that fear is not to live in it perpetually

Basically the problem with the blackpill is that people usually don't actually swallow it, they just choke on it instead

Carloverguy20 · 2021-12-22T03:02:12+00:00

The blackpill makes you wallow in self-pity and excuses to be a sad misreable person. If you don't like yourself, maybe stop browsing blackpill content, talk to good people, and it's preying on your insecurities.

2021-12-21T18:13:35+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	I still don't see how redpill or especially blackpill is wrong.
Author	FriedRice25055
Upvotes	0
Comments	57
Date	December 21, 2021 1:24 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/rlemb3/i_still_dont_see_how_redpill_or_especially/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/i-still-dont-see-how-redpill-or-especially.1091376 https://theredarchive.com/post/1091376

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