Red Pill Husband

TheMadWoodcutter · 2019-01-04T17:12:43+00:00

If you want to save your marriage you're going to have to research red pill rebuttal information and present it to him and explain how his behaviour has been hurting you and damaging your relationship.

If you cannot help him see past the lies, you may actually need to leave him, perhaps only for a time, perhaps forever. The cognitive dissonance is strong in red pill, and they have pat answers for most criticisms of the philosophy. It's very much like a religion or a cult that way, and requires deprogramming the same way.

palacesofparagraphs · 2019-01-04T18:46:56+00:00

You need to talk to him about how his behavior is making you feel. Rather than criticizing red pill philosophy as a whole, which may make him defensive, it's probably more effective to talk about his specific behaviors and how they affect you. "I'm frustrated with our lack of communication." "It's hurtful when you dismiss my emotions, and it makes me feel like I can't confide in you."

Most importantly, come to him in the spirit of collaboration, not attack. He may be too far gone to save the relationship, but hopefully he's not and he's just very mistaken about what's best for the two of you. The conversation shouldn't be "You're fucking up and I'm mad about it," it should be "This isn't working, how can we fix it?" That doesn't mean you shouldn't be firm regarding what you need from him, only that you should assume he wants to treat you well until you're given evidence otherwise. He turned to red pill because there was something he wasn't getting out of your relationship, and he didn't know a healthy way to ask for it. If the two of you can better figure out what each of you needs from the other, you can find ways to provide it, and to make sure he knows how to tell you what he needs from you rather than resorting to manipulation.

BrokenArrows95 · 2019-01-04T21:51:06+00:00

If he bought into the red pill teachings, there is probably something in the relationship he doesn't like that he thinks the red pill will solve. I would find that issue.

the_desiderataaa · 2019-01-04T16:41:17+00:00

Divorce him... And explain that it's redpill that led you there.

the_desiderataaa · 2019-01-04T21:02:59+00:00

If you stay you are feeding into the RedPill belief that gaslighting and other RP techniques get the outcome men want of controlling their wives. If you go but make it clear that you're going because he went RedPill and would've stayed before that, he may see the error of his ways.

VastScene · 2019-01-06T16:21:15+00:00

It's weird, but I do see where your husband is coming from, let me explain this. I hate the red pill and what it stands for but from the posts I've read it sounds like he was trying to play into his role of provider way too hard, and instead of reflecting into himself and seeing what choices he made led him where he is now, he found people who are telling him that women suck and are evil or whatever. I see it from comments like "He wants time for himself" that really sounds like a guy who is fed up with his gender roles.

I'm going to make myself clear though, I'm not defending his actions, if he wanted more space he could have just talked to you about that respectfully and he has failed completely at that. And speaking from experience with toxic masculinity from myself and other men, the only one who can really change your husband is himself when he is good and ready to understand how his gender roles have hurt him and of course how he has been hurting you. Sometimes, men can come out of it, like me. Other men don't even stand a chance. Seriously consider getting out while you can unless you have the patience to guide him away from that space, but to be honest, that isn't your job.

Best of luck.

BluBlac59 · 2019-02-07T16:16:56+00:00

Divorce him and let him bang younger slimmer and hotter chicks. Serves him right !

Newreactions · 2019-01-22T19:55:05+00:00

The crux of it is economics I think. He thinks that he can get what he wants by changing his behavior since his old behavior led to bad enough results that he thought it necessary to change. Did patience for your emotions result in your kindness affection and gratitude towards him?

Pastelitomaracucho · 2019-01-24T16:50:47+00:00

If he for sought TRP content, there's was (is) something making him miserable. Probably he was not happy with the level of intimacy in the relationship.

Sparta_00 · 2019-01-26T03:30:46+00:00

I see people suggesting that you throw the threat of divorce at him, or give him ultimatums. I see you blaming him and the red pill for your marriage possibly failing but.i.dont.see.any reflection on how you can improve yourself into being a better wife for him. Don't threaten to leave in an attempt to control your husband's decisions and lifestyle. He will resent you more and it will result in way more damage. Give him space and freedom and make him feel like a real appreciated man. Rub his back, suck him off, make him feel like your king. Also talk to him. He's looking to the red pill most likely because he probably feels like he works his ass off to support a family and nobody cares. He's becoming a slave to monatomy. Focus on yourself as well, take the red pill with him. Work out, make your body nice, shit like that and do it for you not for him.

EL_Miore · 2019-01-05T20:49:42+00:00

The problem is that RP doesn't bode with LTR, especially in today's modern marriage ceremony.

You will never leave your husband, which is why you want to salvage your feelings. If he abandons his discipline, you will feel better but you will also lose respect for him and in time, attraction.

ShyPlatypus · 2019-01-16T06:17:40+00:00

If you were a better wife he wouldnt read red pill stuff. Try taking a shower and working on your personality.

Title	Red Pill Husband
Author	tikva77
Upvotes	39
Comments	51
Date	January 4, 2019 4:27 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/acjrnw/red_pill_husband/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/red-pill-husband.299907 https://theredarchive.com/post/299907

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