What does trigger attraction "chemistry" in women from a non-RP perspective?

avarciousRutabega99 · 2023-02-18T05:59:46+00:00

Listen man:

Everyone is so mad because you’re trying to approach this systemically instead of intuitively.

There is no formula for attraction, romance is not a math problem. Heres some simple, not too “woo woo” advice.

Go to a decent, non divey bar at happy hour:

Basic ideas: dress in well fitting clothes (read: not flashy, just well fitting) clean sneakers or casual shoes. Trim/clean your nails, comb or style your hair (dont need to go crazy) show your personal style. Are you handsome? Then you can rock a more loose/laid back style. Not as handsome? Keep it slightly more conservative otherwise you’ll appear, kind of all over the place.

Its as simple as dont be too much of anything. Dont be obnoxious or arrogant, and dont be a wallflower, although quiet is always better than too outgoing if you’re unsure. The most attractive thing a guy can do is to be seen in an environment where he’s comfortable just laughing and smiling and at ease. Try to bring friends if you can. Act like you belong, not like you own the place.

Have something relevant to talk about, be prepared to ask people questions about themselves. Dont be stiff and wooden, and dont try to put on a show. This isnt theatre, its marketing. If you’re lost and need a moment, mention something about the game on tv or whatever. Being seen as comfortable around other guys is hugely important. Dont be a guy who can “only” talk to girls, red flag IMO. Looks very creepy, bc it is lol. PUA is invasive and creepy. You’re goal is not to “pick up” its simply to meet people and put yourself out there. If someone smiles at you, go talk them. Dont be afraid to make eye contact or meet someones gaze. If you see someone you like, look but dont stare. If they notice you and keep looking back, talk to her! If not, just carry on. You dont want to be seen as the guy who’s only there to hit on every women in the bar, its a bad look.

Thats it, nothing crazy, red pill or black pill. Just be yourself and own it, show you arent afraid to express yourself. Someone will either dig your vibe, or they wont. You can do small things to make your style and your energy feel and appear more consistent, but there are no secret hacks to make yourself 5x more charming or attractive, sorry. Think of marketing. When youre selling high quality products, the less aggressive and pushy your campaign needs to be (not that you should ever be pushy or aggressive, its a metaphor. Generally when you’re more quiet and reserved, it reads as “sophisticated” and believe me thats a good thing. You’ve consumed all this content about pills and pua and dating, and that tells me that deep down you want someone who matches your energy and allows you to be yourself, not someone who likes you because you put on heirs. Even if that method worked, you havent met someone who really gives a shit about your personality anyway, do you know what I mean?

By being only yourself you’ve established a boundary between you and the people who are not attracted to you anyway, and you’ve left the door wide open for the people who are naturally drawn to you. You’ve primed (arguably increased) your own attractiveness to them by doing nothing at all. Now they feel your vibe, and maybe they’re more comfortable talking to you, giving you their number, maybe even going back to your place. Does that make sense? Dont go barking up the wrong tree just because you think its fruit is sweeter.

Good luck

goodboy92 · 2023-02-18T02:29:54+00:00

I see, interesting question. I believe that in Hitch, the movie, the answer was no answer at all, like literally when interacting with a girl, you literally can do everything wrong and still get the girl and viceversa. There is no formular for love, IT JUST HAPPENS. However, your chances would differ depending on your lifestyle. Don't expect a fullfilling and diverse love life when your hobby is playing LOL/CSGO/WOW and so on.

fathergoose77 · 2023-02-17T23:05:50+00:00

Hey man, take a break. Are you in school or anything? Working? Have any goals? Hobbies?

I think it would do your mental health some good to stop obsessing over something that is so different for every human. If you put this much focus into a goal you have that would better your life, you’d be much happier than posting on Reddit all the time with gender theories.

Sorry if I come off as a dick. I just don’t get what you’re getting out of this because youre ignoring most of what everyone here is saying.

CptHappyOrange · 2023-02-18T01:26:01+00:00

Man, are you trying to write a book on this topic using only the opinions of internet strangers or are you just unhealthily obsessed with this subject?

Just go outside and live your life instead of focusing on... all of this. If you give off the same energy irl as you are giving off through your posts and comments, I think that you are looking for explanations to your questions and troubles in the wrong place.

Get a hobby or something. If you were to put this amount of passion and dedication into something else, your results overall might be different...

tinyhermione · 2023-02-18T08:31:12+00:00

My theory: I think attraction for women is a mix of things. Many women don't feel sexual attraction unless they feel a romantic spark. And a romantic spark requires several things:

This isn't a scientific facts btw, just my take on things. The RP is really bad at separating scientific facts from personal theories. It's important.

1) You have to be a bit someone's physical type. Different women have different physical types. However a very pretty guy is typically a bit of a common denominator, meaning many women will find him physically attractive. And then for most normal men it's just a mix. My friends are attracted to men I don't find attractive, I'm attracted to guys they don't find attractive at all, they don't agree among themselves either.

In general looking well kept (good hygiene, good haircut, clothes that fit, smell nice, take care of your teeth and skin) will have a common appeal. And having a bit of muscle. No need for a six pack, but just work out a bit. However, even that isn't true for everyone. Some women are into lanky guys.

2) Connection/clicking with someone. This is when you meet someone and they are on your wavelength. Talking to them is easy, you laugh at the same things, it feels effortless and interesting. It's the same as meeting someone of the same gender and thinking "this could be a new best friend!". Vs how with other people conversation is like pulling teeth. You can't fake this or game this easily. It's a rare thing, which is more about being similar people who are on the same frequency.

3) Chemistry. If you meet someone that's sort of your physical type and you click, chemistry usually follows. But it's mutual sexual tension, flirting, something fun and lighthearted. People do this intuitively if they meet someone they match with. But if someone is very socially anxious/introverted, I could see them being too closed off to do it. Chemistry is vibes following vibes. You sense you are interested in each other. You flirt, they flirt back. You flirt more. Idk, part of it at least is feeling desired and desiring someone back. And just the connection part, where it's easy to joke back and forth.

I think men need all three as well for romantic spark.. They are just open to sex with women they find physically attractive, but don't feel a romantic spark with. And they are physically attracted to many women. Askmen: 50%. But women often (not always, different people are different) don't have a lot of sexual attraction unless they feel romantic attraction as well.

So in reality I think men and women are equally picky when it comes to falling in love. Men are just more open to having casual sex with someone they can't see a relationship with. It's rare to click with anyone, most people have to search for a long time. And you need a social life to do this searching. Most couples meet in social settings, through friends is the most common way.

Significant-Dog-4362 · 2023-02-18T03:08:56+00:00

A lot of times chemistry can build over a long period of time. Sometimes it never does. I’m the type that’s put off by meticulous men, if they’re well dressed with a great physique, I might notice him and think he’s attractive, but that doesn’t mean I’ll ever want to have sex with him. On the other hand if he’s kinda nerdy or just regular, I’m more likely to be really into him. It’s not because I’m older either, I’ve never really been into the most attractive guys. On the rare occasion they were into me, they didn’t understand why I only saw them as friends. Some girls might find that you being attractive to other girls as a turn on, but a lot aren’t going to care for the competition, and others are going to think that it’s a shallow flex

2023-02-18T12:10:32+00:00

It's subjective. You won't find men that are universally loved by women in real world. Some women will like you, others won't. Women that like you won't like other men, but those men will be liked by other women. I don't understand how all those color-pillers invented entire idea of "objective chemistry".

There's some objective factors like wearing nice clothes make you more attractive. But that's not enough to trigger "chemistry", just make you more approachable.

And it works both ways.

Nightchanger · 2023-02-18T07:40:56+00:00

Talk to a therapist. Ruminating like that is not good even tho it's true.

PutsWomenOnPedestal · 2023-02-18T03:38:04+00:00

Women don't express feeling sexual desire to most people even on an abstract level, you can ask women in your life or even women on the internet,it's just how they feel.

Correct, but this will be met with denial on Reddit.

cvntcvntcvnt · 2023-02-21T18:47:25+00:00

As far as I know, there’s no consensus in the psychological literature. We basically have no idea.

Some studies are done to see who has the best results with dating and stuff, but there’s no explanatory mechanism that’s clear, which is why RP type shit comes out of the woodwork to make complex shit simple, but that requires one’s own biases to take over

Xx_SwordWords_xX · 2023-02-21T23:40:02+00:00

Attraction is about sex and chemistry is about connection; you don't need connection for sex, and you don't need attraction to connect.

You keep missing that women like sex, but prefer to save it for those they are connected with, as this makes us the most safe in making ourselves vulnerable. In your "equation" you keep erasing the vulnerability factor of women, and therefore keep leading yourself into a nonsensical conclusion.

Women who are looking for casual sex, rely more on attraction, just like men. There are less women then men who are looking for casual sex, due to our vulnerability and safety concerns. People connect all over, who are not on dating sites or didn't meet there. People connect all over, who are average looking people (seriously get out more, and look around); these people are not reflected in your cherry-picked data.

I've read several of your posts lately, and it seems you have issues with understanding human-interaction and nuances of as much; are you autistic?

Title	What does trigger attraction "chemistry" in women from a non-RP perspective?
Author	DetermineAssurance
Upvotes	10
Comments	45
Date	February 17, 2023 9:21 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/114xzeq/what_does_trigger_attraction_chemistry_in_women/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/what-does-trigger-attraction-chemistry-in-women.1152288 https://theredarchive.com/post/1152288