What made you leave - please help this is for science

Amir3292 · 2023-03-06T20:55:52+00:00

I got so sick of hearing the "you won't get any girls if you don't have looks money or status" when I've seen guys that are not particularly good looking, rich, or have a lot of clout be able to get girls. Alot of the reasons I'm unable to get girls is my lack of social skills and insecurities that turn off women.

Looks money and social status won't save you if you have bad social skills, inability to form emotional connections and low self esteem. These are things a lot red pillers suffer from but never mention. Essentially a lot of red pillers suffer from emotional wounds.

SrNetworkEngineer · 2023-03-06T20:01:34+00:00

What got me in: lost a good woman but at the same time she did some things I then heard repeated by many other men in their own stories, not with her but with the women they had dated, so I started listening and learning more about folks’ behavior, actions, and words.

What got me out: learned what I could but realized quite a bit of it is just sad or angry dudes complaining about women but not doing anything to improve their own lives

Naus1987 · 2023-03-06T20:50:45+00:00

Truth be told, I never really joined Red Pill, but I can tell you exactly why I never got sucked into it, and what would have forced me out, lol.

I didn't discover Red Pill until my 30s, and by then I already had a solid understanding of how ethics work. And since you're a college kid, you probably have access to an ethics class or two as well.

If you actually learn about ethics. What it means to be "right" or "wrong," you'll realize that a lot of Guru advice is absolutely horseshit.

I think Red Pill enslaves a lot of young men, because it provides a "foundation," or rule-set they can latch onto. They want something solid they can believe in, and follow blindly without question.

Red pill wasn't able to enslave me, because I already had an ethical rule-set I followed. So while I was fascinated about some of the statistics and experiences people had, I wasn't going to let bad women who did bad things corrupt my ethical foundation.

The truth is, there are bad women, but there's also bad men. Look at human history. There are terrible people of both genders, all ages, and throughout the entire history of mankind. And none of that is going to convince me that all people are evil, and red pill manipulation is the solution. It just doesn't make sense.

I can't hate on women because red pill tells me to, because my ethical teachings tells me that's wrong. And I'm not going to blindly listen to some random guy on the internet if his message is unethical.

I sometimes wonder if more people cared about ethics and what it actually means to be ethical if that would help free people from cult like followings.

Yabbari_The_Wizard · 2023-03-07T00:33:44+00:00

What made me leave the redpill community was the same thing that made me leave the whole right wing wide of politics (specifically American right wing politics which is weird cause I'm not even American).

What made me leave the entire movement was a video from American Krogan, he said that the left hate Doom Eternal cause it had an anti immigration message behind it and that's why it's a great game.

After that the whole alt Right, Redpill and whatever other stupid shit I believed in crumbled right there.

Why would I buy a game that's anti immigration when I'm the product of immigrants? Why the fuck was I mad every time I saw a woman or a black person on screen now when back in the day it never even bothered me? Why was I so mad all the time over stupid shit when i used to be happy?

And how the fuck is Doom Eternal anti Immigration?

That one video made me leave the whole right and afted that I started to fall too far left before I found myself in a part where I am happy.

I don't lose my ahit over dumbstuff like the genders of fucking M&M's, I don't call women whores cause they slept around in the past and they rejected me, I don't get pissy when someone uses the wrong pronoun.

Nah, for the first time since 2016 I am actually happy politics wise and now I pay attention to my own countries politics rather than the cesspool of stupidity that is American Politics.

Forward_Law_3151 · 2023-03-07T00:31:56+00:00

I followed red pill doctrine for a year.

Why is started following: it was a mix of paranoia and not being happy. I was waiting for my wife( who I have always considered my best friend and lover) to make me happy. I read no more Mr nice guy which honestly helped me notice that I was not happy because I was trying to make everyone else happy and never focused on myself. After reading that book I did a deep dive trying to further my development into being a mature man and found MRP. I read all the sidebar, got into the best shape of my life and started gaming my wife. I made field reports and journaled my improvements weekly.

Why i got out: However, the comments on the subrebbit went from general hazing ( I was in the Marines I kind of got a kick out of it) to cult like shit which I'm not ok with. I also started sew my wife who I still loved getting hurt emotionally by my behavior. Sure we were having great sex but I realized that she wasn't like the women that the redpill guys were so hurt by. I recognized she was a human being with feelings. So I talked to her about why I changed my behavior and explained that I was unhappy. I made goals with her and we both agreed on time for ourselves to regain happiness so we could be better lovers, friends and spouses to each other.

I would advise anyone who is married or in a LTR to talk to your significant other about what you aren't getting in your relationships. If they love you they will try and help you and if not you should go find a person who will help you.

2023-03-06T22:32:32+00:00

i think first off, the red pill attracts people with attachment issues.

leandrot · 2023-03-07T00:21:43+00:00

What got me in: I was 14, I made myself a fool for a woman, got properly punished for that and looked for a place where I could call her names without being censored. Stayed because not only they gave me a place to vent, they also gave me tips on how to become the man I wanted to (at that time, TRP role models were like Don Corleone, men that are loving, caring and strong enough to help people around them).

What got me out: Met feminists, made friends with them, learned empathy. For some time I managed to be both a feminist and a redpiller (focusing on the idea that "there are bad women out there that I need to protect myself but all of them deserve rights". At that time, both groups also were radically anti-MGTOW, so I also had some fun laughing at misogynists). Eventually, as redpill became more and more misogynystic, I ditched it in favor of feminist groups and ideas.

Different-Item-7994 · 2023-03-06T23:51:05+00:00

I started learning how to forgive, and then realized how the redpill is full of bitterness from people that don't forgive. Then they have studies they can find to back up some logic that leads them to believe they are on the right path. But it's still bitterness underneath. There's also no answers as to how to fix certain problems the redpill says there are with society. So it's just more questions and complaining. Whether there's a problem with a man or woman, you don't just say all these 'facts' and 'you're wrong', that's not conducive. I guess there's no common ground in the redpill... so in turn there will never be a solution for it to promote.

thepolskanator · 2023-03-06T22:23:03+00:00

What got me in: A break up. We both made mistakes. I was not self confident enough, dont had much experience.

What made me leave: A reality check.

There are a lot of "average" guys who have nice girlfriends. Guys, who are not models and dont earn six figures, but have 10/10 personalities. Self reflection helped me:

I dont need a relationship to be happy. I am proud that I can do most of the things by my own or spend a nice time with my friends. I am annoyed when friends ask me when I am going to date again. I just dont want to date at the moment.

Gym: Before my break up I worked out because I thought I would get more attention by women (dumb I know). Now I am working out only for me and do a lot of cardio to stay healthy. But I look much better now and feel better.

Job: Its unlikely that I will earn 100k. But thats okay. I was worried that I dont earn much enough but now I just dont care anymore. My job is fulfilling and I realized that money IS important but my own happiness is important too. So women who would complain about my salary are not a match anyway.

There is always another person involved and we have no influence in that. We can be a ripped millionaire but can still get a rejection by girls who prefer a shy bookworm guy. And thats okay.

Stargazer1919 · 2023-03-07T23:42:51+00:00

I was raised by a parent who had similar beliefs to redpill. Long story short, I was convinced I had zero worth as a human being. I was depressed and suicidal.

When I got the hell away from them and realized I was raised wrong, my life started to improve.

Authoritarian and sexist parenting is harmful.

curiousmind_82 · 2023-03-07T01:18:55+00:00

Great post. I'm like you. Researching about the Red Pill. I'm a psychology graduate from Brazil and intending to apply to a master's degree where I will Focus in male radicalization and evidence-based interventions.

beansmuch · 2023-03-07T13:11:19+00:00

It made me feel very discontent about myself in ways that I was content with before. I'm not against feeling ashamed about myself for not living up to who I wanna be, the problem is, the red pill's ideal man is not who I ever wanted be. But if you listen to something enough, your brain seems to just start to automatically believe it and assimilate to it. It's like the subconscious acquiesces. It's like the illusory truth effect, where exposure to the same idea over and over again will make your brain accept it as true.

I really just got into red pill initially because of loneliness, abandonment, etc., as your hypothesis states. It was a place good for validation and convenient explanations, that is: things that consoled me.

Looking back, what's the most effective thing someone outside the pill could do to change your mind?

Probably nothing any individual could have said. The community was bigger than anything. You know, there need to be male spaces where we can vent and get validated but not have extra ideology and generalizations thrown our way. There's still really no better place than the red pill to vent about your frustrations related to relationships as a man r/MensRights is okay for other problems and struggles we experience as men, but even that is still political in its nature.

Literally all of the men's spaces are political or ideological. There are no apolitical male communities out there where we can vent and relate to common experience and feel validation and consoled. They always become political because outsiders come in and start telling men to stop bitching, stop complaining, compare it to women struggles, etc. Society views men venting about their relationships with women as being toxic or entitled inherently, so of course the communities dedicated to that become toxic and entitled.

Like when I was looking for common experiences about what I went thru, I found red pill spaces to be sympathetic to them and validating them, and apolitical or neutral spaces to be unsympathetic to them and very cold. So where do you think I naturally gravitated towards?

Ifhes · 2023-03-07T21:03:58+00:00

I was never deep into RP, but I did consider myself an incel at certain point in my life, and would definitely fall for it if the timing was right. The reason I abandoned all this way of thinking is because it started affecting my personal relationship with people I respected and considered morally gifted, then realized I was in depression because of how many valuable people I pushed away. Then I started listening to the other side.

shmupsy · 2023-03-10T14:21:35+00:00

Changed my mind on my own.

Because TRP have many underlying ulterior motives other than helping people.

-They are nihilists enjoying themselves while the world burns and have no interest in making efforts to save it. And misery loves company.

-They want you single so there's more girls out there for them to use up. So they give advice that will make you offensive to women and break up your marriages.

-They want to sell you books, supplements, workout programs, self help fads etc. So they say you can't possibly be practicing TRP because your X is not developed enough, here buy this thing.

-They use bully tactics to trick men into thinking they are strong leaders who must know what they are talking about.

That said, I want to emphasize that they do get a core idea of sexual dimorphism right, that I do believe in. But what they do with that knowledge is destructive and selfish.

odd_cloud · 2023-03-07T00:38:48+00:00

Would be interesting if you share what onclusions your paper has.

What get me in: didn't have any success with girls whenn I was young. Started reading PUA, which, I need to say, helped me to a degree. When reading PUA, I found TRP, and some of the theories they had seemed correct.

I didn't get in seriously, so I didn't have to get out. RP is still a number of concepts, which are correct to a degree.

GankdalfTheDankest · 2023-03-07T04:19:01+00:00

I still subscribe to some of the RP views but not all, I took the ones that are useful and discarded the ones that are out of my control or those which I deem to be rage baiting or similar in order to generate traffic. No one pill has it all, and taking all the pills would certainly leave you useless haha. I think awareness is important but it comes down to actions, and the you take action on must be within your control to change.

AutoModerator · 2023-03-06T18:05:01+00:00

The rules of Ex-Red Pill are heavily enforced. Please take a few minutes to familiarize yourself with the purpose of this sub and the rules on the sidebar to avoid your post/comments from being removed and/or having your account banned. Thanks for helping to keep this sub a safe place for those who are detoxing, leaving, and/or questioning The Red Pill's information. For FAQ please see the Red Pill Detox's First Aid Kit.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Title	What made you leave - please help this is for science
Author	Lazly-prodictiv-68
Upvotes	11
Comments	25
Date	March 6, 2023 6:05 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/11k7ssn/what_made_you_leave_please_help_this_is_for/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/what-made-you-leave-please-help-this-is-for.1154249 https://theredarchive.com/post/1154249

Comments