I see this scenario play out a lot: a man discloses something heinous, could be a depraved fetish or the fact they violated another woman in the past. When their partner rightfully freaks out and is angry/sad/upset about it, he says "but at least I was open and honest!". This is an extremely manipulative tactic men use to escape accountability for what they have just admitted to AND to make you feel like you are overreacting.

Being honest with your partner is the bare minimum. Men should not expect extra brownie points for being honest about doing something shitty. Men need to understand that being honest does not absolve them of responsibility for their actions, nor does it mean the person they are disclosing to has to take it on the chin and be all "there, there Johnny, it wasn't that bad."

If a man admits to you that he was/is involved in something heinous/damaging/illegal, you have every right to be angry with him and implement consequences, even if that means leaving him. He is not entitled to your comfort and understanding just because he was honest with you.