Late last night, after a long-ass day, my (28f) boyfriend (29m) of 2+ years and I are walking home and joking around. He always likes to tease me about arm wrestling, because I go to the gym but he is significantly larger (so he will inevitably win against me).
At some point, I ask all loud and exaggerated, "Why do you always want to arm wrestle me?!" and he says in a joking tone, "Because I want to see you struggle".
Cue the "WTF!?" crickets on my end, and a sarcastic/disgusted look on my face. He suddenly is confused and asks me what's wrong, and I say "Well, that's pretty fucked up in my opinion. Why do you think that it's funny to watch me struggle?" Then he comes at me with "I didn't mean it, you know I was joking! I always joke like this with my (male) relative, blah blah blah". If he apologized, it was after all of the excuses, and hence not an apology to me. Now, I've employed FDS strategies (no fawning/easing the tension), and I'm trying to decide what to do next because we just signed a lease for a new apartment this past tuesday. Thankfully, the leasor is independent and a chill dude, and likely amenable to removing either of our names, or just finding new people altogether.
At this point, I'm done and need support leaving. I could use advice on how to exit our current cohabitation quietly (not for my safety, but mainly so that he can't guilt me back into the relationship tbh), and hear other perspectives on this because part of me feels I'm over-reacting. I keep telling myself "He could've just apologized first and dropped it", like I had recently when I made a shitty accidental joke to him. And I can't go to my friends because frankly most of them are way too sympathetic to male bs.
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