I remember I would get so upset when a guy I was seeing would change their behavior and let evidence of being a LVM reveal itself. I would internalize it and ask myself what could I have possibly done wrong, or why am I not good enough to be treated how I want to be treated by this guy who I was genuinely excited about...even though I knew nothing about my own behavior changed.

This sub has helped me so much with feeling good about my standards. Dating is not easy when so many people don’t meet those standards. A strategy I’ve come up with that’s helped me deal with this situations better is to reframe my thinking around them by “changing what I’m attracted to”...and making that the focus of my thoughts. As soon as I see behavior I don’t like, I literally say to myself out loud (and write down in a journal), “I’m not attracted to (insert behavior), therefore I’m not attracted to (insert name of guy) anymore.” When I feel thoughts flooding in about what he could have been or what I wanted him/us to be, good memories where he seemed like an HVM, etc., I tell myself, “It does not matter. Even if I was excited about him and attracted to him, none of those things can make me attracted to him again. I have lost attraction to (name) because of (behavior) and I can’t date someone I’m not attracted to.”

It sounds so simple that I apologize in advance if it’s not worthy of a post, but this exercise has truly helped me with moving on quickly and putting thoughts that aren’t serving me to rest so I can redirect that headspace to things that are useful - leveling up, dating new men, etc.