Cleaning out my texts and found this ancient artifact. Backstory in the comments.

Goddess422 · 2020-04-01T22:37:46+00:00

It scares me that a guy like that is an OBGYN.

keyrArA · 2020-04-01T21:18:56+00:00

Unless you’re going to actually fuck me - oh wow, he a whole joke

szsunshine · 2020-04-02T00:42:31+00:00

“Du u remember me?”

“Wait....are you the guy with only one ball?”

eatapeach18 · 2020-04-01T21:07:50+00:00

Some backstory:

I was 22 and a total Pickme. I had just started my career as a nurse so I was looking to date a like-minded man. Met this guy online who was a OBGYN resident and lived about 40min away from me. He looked really good in his photo so I agreed to meet up for a first date.

LADIES. He did not look ANYTHING like his photo. It wasn’t even like the photo was old or something... the person in the photo was a completely different human being. HOWEVER, he didn’t look bad. He was cute and nerdy and I was already dressed up and came out and I was hungry so I figured whatever, I’ll stay and give the nerd a chance. And you know what? We actually had a nice time! He paid for dinner. I made no mention of him not looking like his photo. He booked me for the following Friday night.

We went on a couple more dates and things got kind of heated and we hooked up at his place, but once his clothes came off, I was turned OFF. He was sooo skinny and lanky, no muscle, he had a child’s body, couldn’t lift me up (and I was only 115lbs at the time), and worst of all, he had a skinny penis and only one testicle. I had to look away to keep from bursting out laughing. I jerked him off for about 20 seconds and then I told him I changed my mind about having sex... I just couldn’t bring myself to do it, but I made him go down on me to at least make my time worthwhile, and it was mediocre at best, which was really disappointing because I figured an OBGYN would know his way around a vagina, but my dude apparently didn’t know what a clit was. Then he dry humped on top of my body for 30 seconds before he finished on my thigh. It was quite possibly the most embarrassing sexual experience of my life (yes, even now that I’m 28, this is still the worst sexual experience of my life).

We had another date planned, but I was trying to figure out how to dump this loser. The night of our date comes and about 30min before we are supposed to meet, he texted me saying “I had a really rough day at work today, so unless you’re going to actually fuck me, I won’t be meeting up with you tonight.” I DIED!! The trash took itself out.

Fast forward 6 years. I’m 28, progressed in my career, newly engaged, just purchased a home, life was great. I get a text message from a number I didn’t recognize. Ya’ll IT WAS HIM!! This fucker really thought he was sooo good in bed, even though he seized on top of me for half a minute before splooging.

Anyway. After I sent that last text, I never heard from him again. Names, phone number, and name of restaurant have been censored for privacy. Sorry for the bad stitch job, but I just had to share this treat before deleting his text thread from my phone.

Moral of the story: Don’t date liars or catfishers, I don’t care how sweet or nerdy they are.

nerezzamore · 2020-04-01T22:08:21+00:00

I'm torn between disappointment that you didn't remind him of that underwhelming sexual experience as part of the reason you'd remember him, and admiration for you keeping it so classy and above-the-belt despite there being so much you could tear him down with. But what a disgusting dickhead. (And you can bet lurkers will make this story all about how you mentioned his genitals negatively and paint you as shallow lol)

SavingsStrength0 · 2020-04-01T21:23:45+00:00

This is why I worry about male gynos. Keep yourself safe from these disgusting freaks ladies! Always be cautious. Just because he’s a doctor and hangs around women all day doesn’t mean he’s a safe bet. Be careful with these dudes just sayin..👀

ErikaNaumann · 2020-04-01T21:35:00+00:00

Genuine question for your previous pickmeisha state of mind. If he was so disgusting, why didn't you just leave? What made you force yourself to endure that?

GlamorKiss · 2020-04-01T21:15:46+00:00

Sorry but you were not “cool” enough to give him a chance despite him sending a fake photo, you were stupid enough to.

Harsh but sometimes it’s true, you basically endangered yourself and encouraged his outrageous, deceptive and dangerous behaviour. He also stole someone else’s identity. At best he was extremely selfish and immature and desperately trying to get laid and at worst he could’ve been an absolute raging dangerous psycho.

I am not saying this to upset you, argue with you, I’m saying this because I don’t want any other ladies reading this to think that forgiving a man using a fake photo makes you a really “cool” kind forgiving girl, it’s actually really unsafe and encourages some unacceptable behaviour.

I can’t imagine being the kind of person to use a photo of a whole ass other person, you’d have to be a little insane. And you helped him get away with it then and encouraged it.

I’m glad you said no now, but obviously you’d say no because you’re engaged, but stop calling it cool that you saw him despite him stealing photos! It’s not cool.

TheHistoryMachine · 2020-04-02T11:55:11+00:00

If he's a doctor, he'd better be the one with the TARDIS, otherwise no way!

Dismal-Storm · 2020-04-02T14:39:59+00:00

I was completely creeped out because I at first thought your doctor was hitting on you and claiming you enjoyed vaginal exams. Glad to see it at least was a guy you dated even though he is a douchebag

SourceInHerEyes · 2020-04-02T08:05:46+00:00

I read "male gyno" and wanted to barf. When I get medical care, I only want women from the doctor down to the assistants and support staff. Males are sick and typically abuse women's healthcare spaces.

2020-04-02T05:46:04+00:00

beautiful poetry.

Title	Cleaning out my texts and found this ancient artifact. Backstory in the comments.
Author	eatapeach18
Upvotes	168
Comments	50
Date	April 1, 2020 9:07 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ft8ot7/cleaning_out_my_texts_and_found_this_ancient/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/cleaning-out-my-texts-and-found-this-ancient.679169 https://theredarchive.com/post/679169

Comments