Common courtesy things your bf should be doing

VikingPug · 2020-03-16T19:42:49+00:00

I would add is respectful about when you are ready to have sex.

buddingQueenie · 2020-03-16T18:27:42+00:00

Isn't it amazing how even committed men fail these? Look at /r/relationships posts. So many women posting and complaining about some variation of the above missing.

HauntedManagement · 2020-03-16T21:12:05+00:00

If he’s on social than he should be transparent about you being in his life. He should be proud of you. It’s a major red flag if a guy who’s active on SM doesn’t want to show you off/hides your relationship. That said, you shouldn’t post him until you’re committed. Nobody wants to see the flavor of the month on IG. Not a good look.

disco-banjo · 2020-03-16T23:08:08+00:00

Though these points range from general to very specific, I am surprised at how many of them seem like a rarity or something out of reach. At the end of the day, I just want to be able to know that my expectations for a partner are no lower than they are for myself. An equal or more, no lesser.

flofloflomingle · 2020-03-17T01:09:14+00:00

I wish I saw this a few months ago. I was in an on and off relationship with my ex for almost 5 years. In the beginning he was great but then he stopped doing these. Even basic thing of hanging out with me during the day. I remember one night he came over after a drunk night and slept til late afternoon. He woke up and we "hung out" for like 2-3 hours and grabbed food together for the first time in over a year. He mentioned how happy I looked and I replied cause i was eating with him.... I cringe thinking about those times. He also let his best friend talk shit about me or fight me. Didn't tell his friends or family he was hanging out with me. Forgot little things about me. But I thought whenever he drunk called me at 4 am after a month or two of not talking it meant he loved me.

Then in August I met a new guy and he would invite me out to the movies. I met his friends and they were welcoming. We would watch movies until late. He remembered things I cared about (even now remembers random things I've mentioned back in august) which would surprise me cause I wasn't used to it. He would be active with me on social media. We planned trips or nights out. He also did activites with my friends or invited me to outings. We were just friends with benefits but he reminded me what your boyfriend should do. Even after the benefits were cut off he still remains a great friend.

My ex did his usual bombarding of me when drunk at 4 am but I ignored him for once. Felt great

aurora_gamine · 2020-03-16T22:20:15+00:00

[deleted]

BulkyMoose · 2020-03-17T05:12:29+00:00

It makes me happy to be able to go down this list and check off each one for my boyfriend.

And he's hot, too!

For my own record-keeping purposes, here are the ones missing:

never tolerating shit-talking about you
he should defend you
he cannot let his friends/family gang up on you (none of these situations have come up yet)
he should post you on social media (he only has FB and insta and doesn't post on those at all)
he should pay for your Uber to go see him (I drive my own car, but he's paid for the Uber every time we've gone out drinking)
he should not be sweeping anything under the rug (he's an extremely quiet and reserved person, even around his best friends of 15+ years. he's also nonconfrontational. i asked him if he'd tell me if I waxed my eyebrows too thin and he didn't like it. He said "I don't know if I'd really think that, but no I wouldn't tell you"

AverageToHot · 2020-03-17T05:05:49+00:00

My ex-boyfriend was ALL of this and he still managed to ruin my life.

2020-03-18T17:05:10+00:00

The thing is this looks like a long list until you consider how many women do most of these things just automatically for anyone. Most of these are basic human decency. Too bad men aren't human 😬

FutileDeathStar · 2020-03-17T05:17:14+00:00

Agreed with almost everything. Never ever feel selfish for expecting all of this. Remember you have so much to offer as well, these are all basic things he can and should do.

doorstopp · 2020-03-18T18:54:15+00:00

The guy I’m seeing now will drive 30 mins from his house, to pick me up from my hometown and take me the 30 mins back to his house. I have a car but he picks me up instead of making me drive over to his place, it’s so sweet 🥺🥺🥺

Fatt3stAveng3r · 2020-03-16T18:27:05+00:00

* he should post you on social media (not in an excessive, extra way, but like a normal, loving bf)

Ehhh? Maybe? I think this is up to the both of you in general. I wouldn't want to have my business posted on social media. Neither of us really use it. I use reddit a lot now, but I'm barely on facebook and I don't have instagram or tumblr or anything. I'd probably have a problem if I kept getting posted on facebook, lol. Seems like an invasion of privacy, a bit. If the girl/guy both want to be posted and talked about, that's great and he should, but it isn't a red flag to me if they don't.

Rest of the list is great.

2020-03-16T20:13:44+00:00

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2020-05-09T13:51:41+00:00

It's sad that it's considered alot to find a man like this, but for women to do this (perhaps minus the financial stuff & chivalry ) is the norm, or even bare minimum. How did things go so wrong?

BulkyMoose · 2020-03-17T04:29:50+00:00

The last BF failed the very first thing on this list, lol... yeah, I dumped him like 2 weeks later.

Also: any BF of mine would pay for a real taxi for me.

www.whosdrivingyou.org

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