Communicating standards: no commitment no sex

circescircus · 2020-07-25T15:36:34+00:00

If you don't have sex by date 3 or so (especially if you met off of OLD), if you shoot down dates at his place or yours, he KNOWS you won't have sex before commitment. The majority of men will show you their ass after date 3 if there is no sex, no groping or heavy kissing, no sign that sex will be had very soon.

If you tell them I won't have intercourse with you before commitment, they'll just manipulate you because they now think you are desperate for a relationship. They'll even assuage their own guilt about using you by lowering your value, by deeming you desperate for companionship and for a man. They'll act like they're doing you a favor too, that's the worst part.

This is why it's so so important to walk the walk, not talk the talk. Don't verbalize common sense or your basic boundaries to men. They KNOW, don't mistake not caring for not knowing.

ChristianGirl93 · 2020-07-25T15:33:53+00:00

Actions over words- if you tell him not knowing if he’s LVM, he will future fake himself into your bed.

BeADecentHumanBeing · 2020-07-25T15:43:03+00:00

By telling them upfront what you expect, they’ll know exactly how to future fake and play you to get sex. Why not observe their behaviour to see who they really are: let their actions speak for them- as to whether they are worthy for consideration of your time and commitment.

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2020-07-25T15:22:38+00:00

The way you communicate it is not letting him have sex with you until he offers commitment. Men aren't stupid. If he doesn't like you, he'll dump you when he doesn't get sex easily. Some will persist because they like to trick and use women. Deal with these guys buy making men spend money and time on you. Don't have sex right when commitment is established, make him wait even longer and continue to prove himself.

Other things to remember: don't be alone with him, don't go alone to his house, don't accept "let me cook you dinner at my house" dates, don't "watch movies" with him at his house, don't agree to any weekend/overnight trips.

Make him work for physical affection. First date: brief hug (keep your crotch away from his and your breasts). Second date: first kiss, preferably closed mouth. No further. Third date: short open-mouth kiss at the end of the date. Fourth date: make out for a couple of minutes. Fifth date: kiss and caress face/neck/hair. It should progress like that slowly, and only if you're happy with the date and how he treats you and others.

Ms_Tilly · 2020-07-25T15:33:37+00:00

I just tell them I don't have sex without an emotional connection. I get proposals here and there.

I went out years ago with a guy from work. I had such a surprisingly good time. I'd been single for years and wasn't looking for anything. At the end of the date, this fool sexually proposes me. He joked about the look on my face for a year. He said my whole face just dropped lol. I didn't even have to say anything haha. He ended up pursuing a relationship with me and we dated for awhile until his emotional problems and jealousy got to be too much for me.

painmakesyoustronger · 2020-07-25T21:59:00+00:00

I’m not going to tell the next man no sex til commitment, because he may try to use that to either get everything but sex or pretend he’s committed and then ghost. I’m going to show rather than tell.

I’m going to go so slow and compose myself with such class that he has no choice but to step up to the plate to win me over.

I’m excited.

PR0N0IA · 2020-07-26T00:41:15+00:00

I’m happily married but followed a similar strategy to FDS back when I was dating.

I told my husband on our first date that I wasn’t going to be open to physical intimacy beyond holding hands / hugging at the end of a date until commitment. I told him that I wasn’t 100% sure I wanted to wait all the way until marriage for sex, but I was leaning that way & id let him know if that changed. We didn’t have our first kiss until he asked to be exclusive. It took about 2 weeks after our first date— so was on our 3rd or 4th date— for him to ask me to be his girlfriend.

sleeping_pretty · 2020-07-26T08:54:07+00:00

I'm abstinant....so if someone asks about my religion. I tell them right away that sex is far away. They usually never call or text again.

lival42 · 2020-07-25T16:01:50+00:00

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