Consent isn’t just a word

makeawomancum · 2022-03-22T14:53:47+00:00

Many lvm hate reading this because they know they’ve intimidated a girl into being assaulted. They don’t want to admit their version of ‘sex’ was rapey.

dontblinkyoullmissme · 2022-03-22T14:56:50+00:00

(Possible trigger warning) I saw this on Instagram and I wanted to share. I haven’t had a serious relationship for three years since I’m focusing on my career. I date to keep my skills fresh.

I told my last boyfriend I didn’t want to have anal. We would have regular sex, and he would send me tickets to visit him once a week since we were long distance. He was always violent in bed, but I was six years younger and I thought that’s what sex was. During one visit, he told me he wanted to f*** me in the one place I said he couldn’t. I was away from my school and at his apartment, no car. I remember shaking and saying “okay.” He was so forceful when he pulled out that blood splattered on his sheets. I remember because we both had to clean up and remake the bed. But it’s my fault because I said “yes” right?

No. If I had FDS sooner I would have understood that pressuring someone into sex that they didn’t want isn’t consensual sex. Consent is a full embrace of whatever sex act is discussed. Anything less is a no full stop. I’m sharing this because I want my FDS sisters to know that even if they said “okay” to something they didn’t want to do, it’s not your fault, and you still have the power to say no, that was wrong. Next time anyone pressures me for anything I’m walking out. Stay safe and strong ladies 🖤

blasthead99 · 2022-03-22T15:56:41+00:00

Or if the word “no” later turns into “yes” because you wouldn’t quit pressuring her

jijitsu-princess · 2022-03-22T17:34:13+00:00

It’s really fucking scary to think men believe it’s okay to apply pressure to a woman to have sex with him. I experienced this with my ex husband on the regular. He keep my up at night until I gave in and could finally go to sleep. I tried locking the door to the guest bedroom one night and he broke the door trying to get in.

crust_mutt · 2022-03-22T14:55:05+00:00

[permanently deleted]

JulyParade · 2022-03-22T14:50:02+00:00

It's not a negotiation either.

Codex-42 · 2022-03-22T18:19:02+00:00

It's also not consent if he nags you into it, pressures you, or make you feel guilty.

Fear of refusing makes it a sexual assault, but all cases of convincing of pressuring someone to have sex are sexual exploitation and/or abuse.

This is so normalised, while research shows that women who have been exposed to unwanted sex in relationships may develop symptoms of ptsd, similarly to sexual assault survivors.

Good_crisps_73 · 2022-03-22T18:43:42+00:00

My ex husband used to do this. Nag and nag and nag at me for sex until I gave in. Our babies were tiny and I was exhausted. I was desperate to sleep. He’d wake me up and berate me. I heartily regret remaining with him for nearly 20 years.

HellGoddessHG · 2022-03-22T15:53:36+00:00

This post creeps me out. I had a dream last night and you reminded me of it. I dreamed I could see my ex and I having sex and my face was in the sheets and I was quietly grunting and clearly not enjoying it and he didn’t stop and afterwards I cried because I’d been dry and uncomfortable. He blamed me for not saying anything.

He was my husband. I know no one can read anyone’s mind but there’s a clear difference in my sounds when I’m Enjoying something vs when I’m not.

He was verbally, financially, physically and sexually abusing me. I’d just birthed twins and was doing my “wifely duty”.

I just wanted it to stop. Been alone 2 years now.. it’s stopped for me.

P.S. I had a yeast infection and he screamed at me for crying after the sex and for not going to the doctor when meanwhile he wouldn’t watch our newborns so I could even shower.

During our divorce he sent me our old bottle of lube and wrote on it in highlighter “For that SANDPAPER”

Zurflu · 2022-03-22T15:12:22+00:00

It's not consent if you're paying $ to change a no to a "yes" either!

You can see this in action when a SW gets stiffed after providing her service and claims she now has been r-ped because of the lack of payment afterwards. You were getting r-ped either way if you didn't want to fuck him babe...

Edit: only half the comments on this post are visible, scrotes are trying to chime in 😬🤣

FURYOFCAPSLOCK · 2022-03-22T16:46:27+00:00

It wasn't consent when I was so drunk, I vomited on myself and he took my phone away from me and cancelled my Uber

EvilCowEater · 2022-03-22T16:39:43+00:00

Why is this even a discussion? Of course the above is true.

Equal-Ear2312 · 2022-03-23T06:35:48+00:00

I've been in the position where I was afraid of saying no. not because I knew that they would leave the same moment because in the back of my head I knew what they were after but because they create situations where you are alone with them and very vulnerable. they specifically engineer situations in which you depend on them. it might be a romantic move, you think, that they drive you in their car through a forest or to their place that is miles away in a very secluded area. you're in a relationship, you think, he won't do anything to me. you're wrong. I've experienced this already three times and I knew that if it was their car, they were exactly the same person that would leave me in the middle of nowhere. It didn't matter if I paid for gas, which I always did. It didn't matter. it was there, unspoken, hanging on the cliff, like a huge boulder.

I talked to him over the phone for hours after the breakup. it hit me that he hid so well, or tried to, yet I always suspected. And what I suspected, what my intuition was telling me, was that I was right. the moment I got in the car with him to go on our "little vacation", I knew it was going to go very wrong. He insisted. In fact, he pushed a sense of obligation on me by simply coming to my parents' house to pick me up. The moment I was in his car, I just knew. I was trapped. He could never have the upper hand on me before but I just served it on a silver platter to him. On the phone, he confessed, that if I didn't do what he wanted, he was of a mind of leaving me in the middle of nowhere, just kick me out of the car, until I learned my lesson. So of course, saying no to sex in that situation is going to have consequences. Later, I would read about the Petito case and how she was "kicked" out of her own van. My ex thought it very amusing, you see, to psychopaths and sadists, this is very amusing. It gives them pleasure to think about their girlfriend being desperate, crying on the road, completely alone in the cold, and begging for "forgiveness" for the sin of having turned him down. over the phone, he almost reminisced fondly of that situation. He had no shame in telling me that he would have loved to see that.

and they tell us: be vulnerable, this is how you open up to intimacy!

the thing is, this advice is given only to women.

men think that being vulnerable is trauma dumping.

ha fucking ha

WinterMagician22 · 2022-03-22T16:59:59+00:00

That part.

Title	Consent isn’t just a word
Author	dontblinkyoullmissme
Upvotes	2130
Comments	46
Date	March 22, 2022 2:45 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/tk4lcy/consent_isnt_just_a_word/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/consent-isnt-just-a-word.1108088 https://theredarchive.com/post/1108088

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