“Conversation” means we both get to talk

detectivejuicee · 2020-03-22T01:16:06+00:00

Ever since I just interrupt people who talk for way too long instead of politely listening, my life is much better.

scorpionx1121 · 2020-03-22T00:55:15+00:00

I went on a date with a guy that kept talking over me. I called him out quick, but he still kept doing it. I told him it seems like he enjoys the sound of his own voice. He paused and thought about it for a moment before agreeing. Ugh!

thissubcanthandleme · 2020-03-22T01:24:06+00:00

Went on a date like that once, I just joked "wrap it up, Ernest Hemingway, you're not being paid by the word." That shut him up quick, but still not sure if he knew who Hemingway was.

dzgata · 2020-03-22T00:41:54+00:00

That’s why screening with a phone call is so useful. A 20 minute convo will reveal a lot. Saved me from wasting my time on a couple of dates when I discovered they couldn’t let me get a word in or they didn’t utter a word.

myousername · 2020-03-22T05:50:46+00:00

SO TRUE. Far too many guys on dates talk AT ME. I have literally walked out of dates mid-meal if he refuses to let me speak.

Unlikely-Marzipan · 2020-03-22T03:41:23+00:00

Oh my gosh, yes!!! This is one reason I can’t even be bothered dating atm. One of my friends keeps telling just to go on dates and get out there, and I literally replied “I just can’t be bothered listening to their shit. I’ve got better things to do.”

I’ve got one guy who literally calls me every Wednesday when his job changes to night shift, to talk AT me for 2 hours. One time I was a bit drunk and he kept talking over me, and I even said “can you please let me finish my sentence!” Because I was so freaking frustrated it just rolled out of my mouth 😂🤷🏻‍♀️I’ve shut that shit right up the last couple of weeks.

JuddHerpatow · 2020-03-22T03:50:40+00:00

When they do this I just keep ordering more drinks to make it more expensive for them.

Sewud · 2020-03-22T06:45:48+00:00

There's also guys who say nothing!

It's so easy to have a conversation with an intelligent and socially capable man, the conversation just flows back and forth and we both talk in equal amounts. This happens naturally because we both intuitively know that to make a conversation happen you must connect with what the person has just said and then offer something of equal value. It just works and we both laugh and the conversation stays engaging. Moreover, we never run out of things to say. We can see each other for years and the conversation never stops. It stops when it's time to go home, but there's always more to talk about next time.

Then with some other guys they just have nothing to say and I find myself on my 43rd story like I'm doing a one-woman show. By the second date we have nothing to talk about because this guy just never says anything. The rest of our relationship is silently standing next to each other while doing things. I used to give these guys a pass because silence isn't them doing anything "wrong". They might serve the line "I want to be with someone that I can be silent with and it's not awkward" like that's some deep philosophy. That is such a low bar. I can be in silence with a stranger in a waiting room and it's not awkward.

From now on I'll cancel any guy like that.

she_is_munchkins · 2020-03-22T10:18:19+00:00

I had a guy do this to me. I looked bored and disengaged, cut him off and said I had to go. He sent me a message later saying he'll make sure not to go on about his problems again like that in future. Lol he's since learnt to keep the monologues short, and asks more about me and how I'm feeling during dates.

slaynmantis · 2020-03-22T12:57:01+00:00

In the midst of talking over you, but then repeat the same story you've already heard before. It wasn't interesting then, and it sure as hell isnt interesting now.

thesunshinecat · 2020-03-22T16:26:37+00:00

Thank you for posting this!!! I needed this right now lol. SO many men do this on dates, just babbling away about stupid shite for like 20 minutes at a time. I remember awhile ago some guy did this to me on a date, finally I interrupted to correct misinformation in what he said. He then looks at me and goes "Wait...so basically you already know all this stuff and I've just been talking this whole time as if you didn't?" I rolled my eyes, shocked he finally figured it out. The thing is if he had been listening when I occasionally got a few words in, he would already know I was knowledgeable about these things.

I will never sit through some idiot's endless babble ever again.

IloveKoreanfoodyaaas · 2020-03-22T09:45:56+00:00

This has happened to me several times over the past few years and when it does I make a mental note never to see the guy again.

noapologiesthrowaway · 2020-03-22T16:48:21+00:00

Actually it’s quite useful to let them talk, that way you can find out more about them to vet. Also the fact that he keeps talking and leaves no space in the conversation for you is a sign itself to watch out for. Quiet, patient power can yield fantastic results ladies.

enharmonia · 2020-03-22T03:39:28+00:00

Recently went on a date where the guy did not stop talking for 30 minutes straight. He spent the whole time talking AT me, not TO me, and then was confused as to why I didn't want to get a drink after dinner. Literally didn't ask a single thing about me or let me talk at all.

qawsedrf12 · 2020-03-22T00:55:44+00:00

The guy that keeps his answers short to let you talk as much as possible is the keeper

We have 2 ears and one mouth for a reason (old sales training)

Title	“Conversation” means we both get to talk
Author	LeftistEpicure
Upvotes	443
Comments	26
Date	March 21, 2020 11:17 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/fmp8gs/conversation_means_we_both_get_to_talk/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/conversation-means-we-both-get-to-talk.679786 https://theredarchive.com/post/679786

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