I've been thinking about what traits have served me best in the dating scene. And what traits seem to get other women in really bad situations.

We're always talking about self esteem. But what does that mean in practice? As you're navigating the dating scene and looking for relationships, if a new man disrespects you in ANY WAY... whether he is trying to pass it off as a "joke" or what the fuck ever. Your reaction should be immediate rage. How fucking dare he criticize you for nothing? How dare he put you down? How dare he negatively comment on your appearance? You are beautiful, you are loved, and you are worthy. You have so many things going for you and you are constantly investing in yourself. What right does this little BITCH have to say shit?

Fucking none, you are the goddamn prize and he should be BESIDES HIMSELF with gratitude bc you're even entertaining him. He should be falling all over himself to be appealing, kind, safe, comfortable. He should be happily taking you out on acceptably nice dates bc he wants to show you a good time. That is literally what you look for.

Early on in dating, even ONE slightly rude comment and I'm fucking out. That is what you do. They do not pass go, they do not collect $200. If they can't even be 100% sweet and kind when things are shiny and new you're in for an abusive shitshow. DO NOT BE DESPERATE AND CONTINUE TO SEE A MAN WHO NEGS YOU ON THE FIRST DATE(S). GHOST HIM.

Now, even "good" men are kinda shit. We all know this. Nearly all of them are going to occasionally criticize you on some dumb shit. My partner tries me once in a while, never on my appearance (I'd rip his soul out of his body and stuff it down his throat) but a good example... he started bitching about how the kitchen wasn't clean yet after we ate and chilled for a while. "I'm like oh, I forgot I was supposed to come to your house, cook you dank ass complicated meals, and then do 100% of the clean up too. How much you paying for this service?" He laughed and then we knocked out the work together, with him doing most of course because I COOKED. I don't be over at his house giving free maid service. I clean up after myself of course, but just as I do all the deep cleaning at my own place he needs to do his. I also make him prep things when I'm cooking. Get to chopping.

Another example. I was crafting on the couch. Then I'm trying on my creation. He wants us to go on a run together. He gets all ANTSY/anxious b/c he had a weird day at work or whatever and starts being like "I want to go, I want to go right now" etc. So I toss on my running gear and we go. After he's like "Wow, you left your stuff all over my couch, you didn't blah blah blah" and I'm like "oh, when you started being a whole ass baby and rushing me out the door to run with you? Maybe if you have some patience next time I'll have time to pick up my supplies before we go."

It doesn't have to be big, horrible, relationship ending things. Any time they are unfairly critical or expect bangmaid services: clap right back, every time. And don't be cowed if he continues on with his WRONG ASS BS. What are you afraid of? That he'll leave you for having self respect? My love, that would be a GOOD THING. Assert yourself. Assert your boundaries. Assert your self RESPECT. Now, if he's right and you did a dumb/rude thing, of course you apologize & fix it... which he should gracefully accept and leave alone immediately after, not harp on it. And you do the same to him when he makes a mistake.
The best part is, you end up training them. Men will really be as low effort/shitty as they can get away with. Obviously you don't date the ones who are straight degenerate and their maximum "low effort/shitty" involves any sort of abuse, cheating etc. But no man is gonna turn down bangmaid services if they can get it. The women willing to give everything for nothing... get nothing. No commitment, no real respect. Men will see you as "here for a good time, not a long time" if you fall all over yourself to cater to them and take their bullshit without questioning it. You may THINK they'll be more likely to wife you up because you're "cool." No, they see you as easy, in every way. Not a challenge. And just like men need to pursue and feel like they have "won" when they "get" you early on, they need to always feel like they have to be on their A game and WORK to keep your attention, your loyalty, your glorious self in their life.

But when you assert yourself consistently, men who are worth ANYTHING respect it. After all, to an extent respect IS earned. If a man actually becomes fucking horrible & berates you let alone trending towards intimidating/violent when you assert your self respect: he is a sentient pile of garbage you need to eject into the dumpster where he belongs.