Do HVW feel lonely?

veruscka · 2020-10-16T19:01:38+00:00

Of course, it’s part of the human condition. The best thing to do is to learn to be your own companion: treat yourself, make yourself feel special but also set goals and hold yourself accountable. Now is a great time to focus on yourself, learn new skills, and learn to love the wounded parts of you that want validation. How are you ever going to be content if you can’t be content on your own?

Moonmask999 · 2020-10-16T19:04:06+00:00

What specifically do you miss? Do you miss a warm body to snuggle with at night? Do you miss someone to love? Do you miss sex?

It's ok to feel lonely time to time- we're extremely social after all- but specifically the "male companion" loneliness is a bit different.

There's ways to curb the feeling, depending on what specifically you are missing from those relationships. If it's the warm body, buy a heated blanket or heavy blanket. If it's sex, buy a new vibrator or other toys. If it's connection, you can get that from friendship. If you find yourself bored, not sure what to do, you can take yourself on dates or pick up a new hobby. New hobbies can help add meaning to your life. Perhaps join a social group (depends on where you live and the restrictions). If it's missing someone to make you feel loved, love yourself.

Like I said, it's ok to feel lonely. Figure out what needs of yours aren't being met and are causing the loneliness and do what you can to fulfill those needs yourself.

pencilbride2B · 2020-10-16T19:15:12+00:00

I never felt more lonely then when I was dating LVM, who made me feel crap about myself. I never felt less attractive then when I was going out on multiple dates to find "the one". If anything thanks to FDS, I feel less lonely than ever because I realized that there are many HVW out there who have woken up to being their authentic self and being strong. I realized that I was not an odd person, who had men treat them like crap. I've learned to relish the women around me more, to cultivate true friendships, and to stop defining myself by my relationships. I have friends and family for emotional support and I go for therapy for guidance. I feel less lonely now.

furstlast390 · 2020-10-16T19:04:48+00:00

I’ve actually never dated, so I can’t really relate. I’ve never been interested in being in a relationship, and while I’ve gotten offers for dates and sex, I’ve declined them all because it doesn’t interest me. I’ve found myself wondering what it would be like to have a boyfriend, but the idea wasn’t very appealing to me. But I know for people coming away from relationships, they can definitely feel alone. I would suggest replacing the men who were in your life with friends. I myself don’t have many friends, but the ones I do make me happy. You don’t have to have a ton of friends, just the right ones that make you feel better. It’s okay, you’re making a good decision and you will feel much better in a few months or a year. We all feel apprehensive when we make such a big decision to cut off toxic people, but it feels really good once you’ve gotten used to it!

featherflowers · 2020-10-16T19:49:50+00:00

I'm in a shitty situation this week due to a covid exposure. Looking back at past relationships, I never truly had this with any man I was with, so I guess I miss the concept of having a person to rely on. I'm in my thirties. My parents have their own issues, most friends are married or coupled up. I wish I had someone that I lived with that I could really rely on, to turn to when life is hard. To give me a hug and know that even if they can't solve my problem they are there to comfort me. My person. My exes were there but often left me hanging and I'd chin up and handle things myself, talk to friends or family, journal, etc, all the things I do now when I'm faced with tough times. But there are times I get sad that I don't have that significant person to turn to.

I know I can make it on my own but that doesn't mean I don't still want to have that special person in my life. My past has taught me that being with an LVM during tough times is worse than going it alone though, so I'm not going to settle just because I'm lonely. I have hope that there is a man out there that is right for me. When I get down or like this week really wish I had someone to turn to, I imagine what would it look like to be with an HVM under those circumstances and what he would be doing to support me. And then I do my best to do those things for myself. It's hard but it's helping me grow and helping me to set standards and expectations for future relationships. I struggled with giving too much in past relationships and now I'm giving that love to myself.

You're only human sis, let yourself feel the feelings, decide what you are learning from them, straighten that crown and keep it moving. Keep leveling up and the good things will come to you.

FrequentPoetry · 2020-10-16T19:17:40+00:00

Well I don't know about "HVW" but loneliness is a completely natural, human emotion. Everyone feels lonely at one point or another. Please try not to feel bad about feeling like this, because it doesn't make you any less worthy. People go through complex emotions and I believe it can be a relief to know that you have control at least of the things you do. And you can only push forward and choose how you'll manage things from now on.

There are people who like to be in a relationship but it's important to remember that you will always only have yourself so that you don't lose track of who you are, if that makes sense? Hang in there 💙 I recommend doing things you find comfort in as well as surrounding yourself with people you get inspiration from.

modernmedusaa · 2020-10-16T20:56:20+00:00

Yes but in this messed up Male led world I’d take it as a sign of sanity & strength if you don’t quite fit in. Like you’ve managed to avoid having your soul stolen & your eyes stuffed with wool. It isn’t for the faint hearted that’s for sure. I’m sure the suffragettes felt lonely at first too...but that’s because they were social disrupters seeking to change & challenge bizarre & unbalanced ‘norms’ established by sociopathic men to oppress women. Most women knew they were being mistreated deep down & things weren’t right but they needed to see a bunch of brave women stand up & say it first, so they recognised they weren’t alone in their struggles. Because the patriarchy wants to pull the wool over your eyes & individualise the global issues & patterns women collectively face- all those things we experience & have in common from Peru to Iran. That way it can keep them apart competing against each other & prevent men from being held to account, collectively. The minute you all wake up & connect the dots- they have a big problem on their hands. Because it’s hard to fool & control someone who’s consciously aware of what you’re doing. It was all by design- it was no accident how society got that way in the 30s, 40s, 50s etc. And most women were not happy behind closed doors, despite the manospheres historical mansplaining of events. They were mostly stuck in crappy marriages cleaning up after lousy cheaters & their children bc divorce was seen as socially taboo- great way to keep women chained to an undeserving violent/ cheating man so he’s guaranteed to get his PP stroked every week. Most men don’t want us to have more power & freedom bc they know we won’t stick around for their bullshit treatment if we do. They also know we won’t want to have babies for incompetent lying ass manchildren as much...which is why birthrates are declining in line with women becoming more educated. Chaining us down with babies young b4 we get a chance to wise up on them, heal childhood traumas & discover ourselves is a favourite trusty tool of the patriarchy.

Men were the inventors of political war propaganda, they have had plenty of practice manipulating the masses & they’re not shy about using their physical strength against us to intimidate & control women when it is meant to protect us. That’s why they deliberately pitched ‘femininity’ as passive, submissive & subservient. To serve their own end by holding power over us- to keep us weak, insecure, needy & compliant. Because if women are strong, loud & think in their own best interests, they won’t take men’s shit anymore. Liberal feminism & the rest of it is part of their new propaganda to slide us back into line. They have co-opted the neoliberal language of ‘individualism’ to serve their own end....as they know the modern west isn’t fond of collective dictatorship. So they must get the sheep in line by other means, by pitching their dictatorship as a ‘free liberating choice’ to women instead. That way someone doesn’t feel they’re being controlled bc they were indirectly or directly influenced into ‘choosing’ their fate & feeding themselves to the wolves. Like young girls choosing to be sex workers & thinking they’re sticking two fingers at the patriarchy ...rather than fuelling it. Lol will men respect us more the easier access they have to buy women for sex? I don’t think so. Things will just get worse. So being awake to this shift is hugely beneficial to women, so they don’t get caught up in it.

As Naom Chomsky said , good propaganda is designed to seem ‘innocent’ & hook people in b4 it sinks it teeth & whips the carpet under you. Otherwise nobody would buy into it. However if you’re a questioning person who looks past the facade & doesn’t fall for BS easily, you’ll soon understand modern ‘liberal feminism’ has been infiltrated to serve the patriarchy but in a way that seems like a ‘liberating edgy new cool choice’. Rather than being forcibly objectified women can now ‘choose’ to do that by their own omission & compete in a race to the bottom on Instagram & only fans - they’ve pitched it in a way that seems ‘rebellious’ & ‘audacious’ to objectify yourself for pornsick cheating men who don’t see you as fully human...who see you as another piece of meat in the online catalogue. Who see you as an accessory or a service. Old dog, same tricks. They know the more objectified women are, the less freedom & power they have to make choices which are beneficial to them& society as a whole- which a lot of men don’t want us to have bc that means no sex for them & it allows us to leave the cheats & violent scrotes much easier- who will stroke their PP if we have more freedom? If we wake up & connect the dots? If women stop competing, stop being insecure & start passing notes? Where Male leaders previously used more physical means to control people (capital punishment), now they influence the sheep into line through the mind...through the media & other outlets etc. Formally coined as Governmentality: https://www.britannica.com/topic/governmentality

A lot of this shit takes a great deal of thought, self reflection & research so it will look crazy to most ppl, bc most don’t want to stomache the scale of it all & how that relates to their personal experiences & their mothers & sisters & friends. But the personal is always political. None of us are born as a blank slate. The suffragettes knew the old familiar ways weren’t working despite it being ‘the norm’, they knew women were being oppressed & the knock on effects that wreaks on society bc we birth everyone. Just like FDS knows our pornsick liberal feminist free for all nonsense isn’t working...particularly for mothers. We know young women are up against new issues they weren’t in the past....like the red pill & PUA culture & BDSM freaks on Tinder- that’s gotten far more organised than previous time’s bc of the internet. But unfortunately for men, women can use the Internet too. Women can turn the tide & play men at their own game, but only once they’re awake to who’s cooking the frogs & when they unite - only once they’ve rid themselves of internalised misogyny...which takes some doing. The suffragettes knew they were going against the grain, against traditions & popular common thought- they knew public onslaught was coming...but they still managed to win us the vote & change society forever. They paved the way & others followed. Had they not had the balls to take the risk of being seen as an outlier, the world would look pretty different to what it does now. We wouldn’t have the right to our own bank accounts or the right to vote.

I’ve always said.... If you truly know you’re a solid character as a woman & find yourself lonely or don’t seem to fit in....it’s likely you have a higher purpose to spearhead change with other ‘outliers’. Low value men hate FDS for a reason, bc we shine a bright glaring spotlight on their bullshit. Because we don’t lie to women & mask the nature of them- we better prepare them for the issues they will inevitably encounter. We just have the balls to say it in an organised, blunt matter of fact tone. But much of what we talk about truly isn’t surprising to most women...they know how most men are deep down. They know shit isn’t fair on the playing field & hasn’t been for some time now.

Be the change you want to see in the world- someone’s got to create that spark. Be the source of hope other women can turn to. Join with other female outliers. Be the bold one that speaks out & helps other women come forward. We’re always going to need headstrong women who pave the way- it might seem uncomfortable or isolating at first but just look at how FDS has blossomed to 100k in just a year & a bit....we’re not actually as alone in our thoughts as we think...there are plenty of us experiencing & thinking the same things in private. If you find yourself lonely & don’t fit in with the zeitgeist, maybe your purpose is to be part of that change & create a ripple.

Maude2010 · 2020-10-16T19:14:07+00:00

Sometimes I do, but it’s because I don’t have enough good friendships. I never feel lonely and think that I really wish I was with a man. There’s definitely a desire for more friends though.

S3mirmis · 2020-10-16T18:55:52+00:00

I think the answer is yes.
Especially if you are introverted and have a small circle of friends or little to now friends due to e.g. moving a lot or far away.

miwamus · 2020-10-16T19:04:00+00:00

I think you answered your own question: growing pains. The further into the process that I get the less lonely I feel.

modernmedusaa · 2020-10-16T20:56:30+00:00

Yes but in this messed up Male led world I’d take it as a sign of sanity & strength if you don’t quite fit in. Like you’ve managed to avoid having your soul stolen & your eyes stuffed with wool. It isn’t for the faint hearted that’s for sure. I’m sure the suffragettes felt lonely at first too...but that’s because they were social disrupters seeking to change & challenge bizarre & unbalanced ‘norms’ established by sociopathic men to oppress women. Most women knew they were being mistreated deep down & things weren’t right but they needed to see a bunch of brave women stand up & say it first, so they recognised they weren’t alone in their struggles. Because the patriarchy wants to pull the wool over your eyes & individualise the global issues & patterns women collectively face- all those things we experience & have in common from Peru to Iran. That way it can keep them apart competing against each other & prevent men from being held to account, collectively. The minute you all wake up & connect the dots- they have a big problem on their hands. Because it’s hard to fool & control someone who’s consciously aware of what you’re doing. It was all by design- it was no accident how society got that way in the 30s, 40s, 50s etc. And most women were not happy behind closed doors, despite the manospheres historical mansplaining of events. They were mostly stuck in crappy marriages cleaning up after lousy cheaters & their children bc divorce was seen as socially taboo- great way to keep women chained to an undeserving violent/ cheating man so he’s guaranteed to get his PP stroked every week. Most men don’t want us to have more power & freedom bc they know we won’t stick around for their bullshit treatment if we do. They also know we won’t want to have babies for incompetent lying ass manchildren as much...which is why birthrates are declining in line with women becoming more educated. Chaining us down with babies young b4 we get a chance to wise up on them, heal childhood traumas & discover ourselves is a favourite trusty tool of the patriarchy.

Men were the inventors of political war propaganda, they have had plenty of practice manipulating the masses & they’re not shy about using their physical strength against us to intimidate & control women when it is meant to protect us. That’s why they deliberately pitched ‘femininity’ as passive, submissive & subservient. To serve their own end by holding power over us- to keep us weak, insecure, needy & compliant. Because if women are strong, loud & think in their own best interests, they won’t take men’s shit anymore. Liberal feminism & the rest of it is part of their new propaganda to slide us back into line. They have co-opted the neoliberal language of ‘individualism’ to serve their own end....as they know the modern west isn’t fond of collective dictatorship. So they must get the sheep in line by other means, by pitching their dictatorship as a ‘free liberating choice’ to women instead. That way someone doesn’t feel they’re being controlled bc they were indirectly or directly influenced into ‘choosing’ their fate & feeding themselves to the wolves. Like young girls choosing to be sex workers & thinking they’re sticking two fingers at the patriarchy ...rather than fuelling it. Lol will men respect us more the easier access they have to buy women for sex? I don’t think so. Things will just get worse. So being awake to this shift is hugely beneficial to women, so they don’t get caught up in it.

As Naom Chomsky said , good propaganda is designed to seem ‘innocent’ & hook people in b4 it sinks it teeth & whips the carpet under you. Otherwise nobody would buy into it. However if you’re a questioning person who looks past the facade & doesn’t fall for BS easily, you’ll soon understand modern ‘liberal feminism’ has been infiltrated to serve the patriarchy but in a way that seems like a ‘liberating edgy new cool choice’. Rather than being forcibly objectified women can now ‘choose’ to do that by their own omission & compete in a race to the bottom on Instagram & only fans - they’ve pitched it in a way that seems ‘rebellious’ & ‘audacious’ to objectify yourself for pornsick cheating men who don’t see you as fully human...who see you as another piece of meat in the online catalogue. Who see you as an accessory or a service. Old dog, same tricks. They know the more objectified women are, the less freedom & power they have to make choices which are beneficial to them& society as a whole- which a lot of men don’t want us to have bc that means no sex for them & it allows us to leave the cheats & violent scrotes much easier- who will stroke their PP if we have more freedom? If we wake up & connect the dots? If women stop competing, stop being insecure & start passing notes? Where Male leaders previously used more physical means to control people (capital punishment), now they influence the sheep into line through the mind...through the media & other outlets etc. Formally coined as Governmentality: https://www.britannica.com/topic/governmentality

A lot of this shit takes a great deal of thought, self reflection & research so it will look crazy to most ppl, bc most don’t want to stomache the scale of it all & how that relates to their personal experiences & their mothers & sisters & friends. But the personal is always political. None of us are born as a blank slate. The suffragettes knew the old familiar ways weren’t working despite it being ‘the norm’, they knew women were being oppressed & the knock on effects that wreaks on society bc we birth everyone. Just like FDS knows our pornsick liberal feminist free for all nonsense isn’t working...particularly for mothers. We know young women are up against new issues they weren’t in the past....like the red pill & PUA culture & BDSM freaks on Tinder- that’s gotten far more organised than previous time’s bc of the internet. But unfortunately for men, women can use the Internet too. Women can turn the tide & play men at their own game, but only once they’re awake to who’s cooking the frogs & when they unite - only once they’ve rid themselves of internalised misogyny...which takes some doing. The suffragettes knew they were going against the grain, against traditions & popular common thought- they knew public onslaught was coming...but they still managed to win us the vote & change society forever. They paved the way & others followed. Had they not had the balls to take the risk of being seen as an outlier, the world would look pretty different to what it does now. We wouldn’t have the right to our own bank accounts or the right to vote.

I’ve always said.... If you truly know you’re a solid character as a woman & find yourself lonely or don’t seem to fit in....it’s likely you have a higher purpose to spearhead change with other ‘outliers’. Low value men hate FDS for a reason, bc we shine a bright glaring spotlight on their bullshit. Because we don’t lie to women & mask the nature of them- we better prepare them for the issues they will inevitably encounter. We just have the balls to say it in an organised, blunt matter of fact tone. But much of what we talk about truly isn’t surprising to most women...they know how most men are deep down. They know shit isn’t fair on the playing field & hasn’t been for some time now.

Be the change you want to see in the world- someone’s got to create that spark. Be the source of hope other women can turn to. Join with other female outliers. Be the bold one that speaks out & helps other women come forward. We’re always going to need headstrong women who pave the way- it might seem uncomfortable or isolating at first but just look at how FDS has blossomed to 100k in just a year & a bit....we’re not actually as alone in our thoughts as we think...there are plenty of us experiencing & thinking the same things in private. If you find yourself lonely & don’t fit in with the zeitgeist, maybe your purpose is to be part of that change & create a ripple.

heliodrome · 2020-10-16T20:27:30+00:00

I would day it is growing pains. I used to feel lonely, but it’s been many months since I’ve felt lonely, and it’s coincided with seizing my dating completely. I e never been happier or more content. If I have to stay stingless to stay this way then so be it.

GIfuckingJane · 2020-10-16T22:01:10+00:00

This article gave me a good perspective when I compare myself to "happy couples" and where I stand as someone who is single.

https://waitbutwhy.com/2014/02/pick-life-partner.html

illusion_believe · 2020-10-16T21:14:05+00:00

I want a presence of my HVM in my life but I don’t miss him since it looks like he doesn’t exist yet lol

Actually, there is one area I’m working on to be ready for that HVM. But if I stay at home too long without going out, I feel lonely. Not from men but just human connection and doing exciting things. Hope this helps

vodkagoddess91 · 2020-10-16T22:16:31+00:00

No. I have a very fullfilling life and friends/family that care about me.

I think feeling alone when you have friends and family is more so the result of fantasizing about companionship with a perfect man.

None of my past relationships were awful. But they were nothing to sit around and daydream about in the absence of a relationship.

I haven't found any romantic male companionship that was fulfilling. Inget more value and fullfillment out of my friendships.

Shoddy-Telephone-939 · 2020-10-16T23:20:26+00:00

Yes, I feel lonely. It comes and goes. Friday evening is usually the worst because the work week, which kept me busy and distracted, is over and now I have an entire weekend ahead. I have two little chihuahuas who light up my life and I make an effort to have at least one outing with a girlfriend every weekend - sometimes it’s just to meet for coffee and a walk, but it helps a lot. I also have therapy once a week.

Like previous commenters have said, I felt lonely when I was in a relationship w my narcissist ex boyfriend, too. That was a constant desperate, deeply depressed, sick to my stomach and dark loneliness. My mental health was so fragile and always on the edge of collapse. Like a hopeless empty pit.

I’ll take a Friday night alone any day over that.

2020-10-17T14:22:52+00:00

Modern men typically do not congratulate women for being able to get away from serving them.

There's a reason women tend to "marry up," and it's not because we're greedy. Being successful threatens a lot of men's egos, and the higher you climb, the colder men below you will be towards you.

BUT, A. This does not necessarily have to make you lonely, and B. Everybody gets lonely sometimes. It's important to try to dissect why you think being single is what causes you to feel lonely.

I was at my absolute loneliest when I was married to a man who despised me.

As FDS continues to grow, my hunch is that women will have more and more female friends who are wise to it all.

Title	Do HVW feel lonely?
Author	kimjongchill796
Upvotes	84
Comments	25
Date	October 16, 2020 2:46 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/jc1qw8/do_hvw_feel_lonely/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/do-hvw-feel-lonely.318327 https://theredarchive.com/post/318327

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