Long post warning. I just got out from under my LV boss yesterday. I work in a male-dominated section of the service industry, and he is your typical boisterous, sexist ‘bro’. This aside, he seemed like a kind enough person in the beginning and I respected him as a supervisor.

Two incidences have occurred in the few months I’ve been there where he would make several loud disparaging comments toward me about something arbitrary, and when I attempted to lightheartedly respond in kind, he called me outside to get in my face about being “disrespectful”. Both times I was shocked and wanted to cry, because this is something I have never been accused of by anyone I’ve worked with. Only once have I seen him speak to any man that works there this way - and the guy was obviously being a disrespectful asshole at the time.

Well, earlier this week it happened again. He started yelling that I “always have something to say” and dared me to “say one more thing”. I stopped speaking and decided to look for another job when I got home. I texted him that we needed to resolve this, and he responded that we would talk in two days when he returned to work.

When I was finally able to speak with him and tell him that his behavior was unacceptable, he almost immediately began yelling, cussing, and accusing me of things that simply aren’t true (like saying things implying that I eff off at work, and that I’m dispensable - lol). He also told me that he’s the boss and when he tells me to do something, I need to “shut up and do it”.

I want to mention here that he’s very buddy buddy with most of the male employees (plays games with them) and they actually do the bulk of the effing off. He was also pitching me against one of his buddies for a promotion coming up, even though I am already a lead/do the work of three people, and this guy is just a regular employee who’s been there half as long as I have.

Anyway, I immediately quit and left when I realized he was just going to continue to steamroll me and completely disregard anything I had to say. It was an awful experience, and definitely triggered me in a way that break ups with my toxic LV exes have. All day I kept seeing his face in my mind, the cold angry look in his eyes as he yelled right in my face like I was a piece of shit.

I used the cultural misogyny flair because I have been dealing with his kind my whole 10+ years in this industry - these toxic, metaphorically small men who get off on the small amount of power they have, especially over female employees. They jump at any chance to intimidate us and swing their dick around to make us believe that we have to shut up and deal with it or suffer the consequences.

I told myself several years ago that I would never let a man in authority intimidate me again, and this week I really had to stand up for myself. After quitting I contacted HR and also spoke with my boss’s boss (who knows me, who is desperately trying to get me back, and who obviously heard a different story from my boss about what happened and was not happy to find out the truth). He said he will be speaking with him immediately.

The situation is not over yet, and I am definitely fearing retaliation even though I don’t work there anymore. Besides just needing to let this out, I wanted to share this to encourage my queens in male-dominated industries not to take any shit or let your male supervisors intimidate you ever. It’s so hard to find the balance between doing something you love and navigating the sexist bullshit that comes with it. I just hope that as women evolve to become fully aware of their own power, that this kind of behavior will be denormalized and men will learn that no, we won’t just shut up and do what they say.

TL;DR: My former boss revealed himself to be a complete LV sexist asshole, he’s about to find out I’ve spoken with people above him about his behavior, I quit and I’m free!

Edit: I also left a scathing, detailed Glassdoor review. Cheers to handling things like an adult rather than a bratty child!