general good advice about dating

purasangria · 2021-12-17T06:36:40+00:00

I think the best advice to remember when dating men is, "If he wanted to, he would." That covers so many things.

Confused about why he says he likes you, but then doesn't call? If he wanted to call, he would.

Wondering if he's going to ask you out again? If he wanted to ask you out, he would.

Can't understand why he's always suggesting cheap dates that are the bare minimum? If he wanted to offer you more than the bare minimum, he would.

In sum, men do exactly as they please, so if he's not doing something, it's because he just doesn't want to, for whatever reason, so you should say to yourself, "If he wanted to, he would," and just continue on, block, and delete.

Hostileovaries · 2021-12-17T03:38:11+00:00

Learn to love being alone before you look for a partner. If you don't you're more likely to end up settling for a bad relationship under the false belief that it's better than being alone. Dispel yourself of the societal conditioning that doing certain things alone or without a partner is sad or being unmarried at a certain age is disgraceful. Go to dinner with your girlfriends, wine and dine yourself, pamper yourself with a spa night at home with the girls. Build hobbies and a life outside of male validation and dating. Dye your hair pink, wear what you want to wear, use makeup if you want, but do it because you want to.

Then you can see clearly when someone is treating you less than you deserve and you stop excusing the red flags in a relationship.

fab_pofu · 2021-12-17T13:57:12+00:00

He’s not competing with other men, he’s competing with the peace and happiness you’ve developed on your own.

asoww · 2021-12-17T02:39:29+00:00

"Treat me like an option and I'll drop you like a choice"

Saga-the-fierce · 2021-12-17T12:18:18+00:00

It's something from the Handbook.

Dating should be a fun and stress-free experience 🙂

edwardianemerald · 2021-12-17T19:41:36+00:00

Don't try so hard. Most men won't notice, let alone care.

iggypiggyfiggy · 2021-12-17T16:58:52+00:00

Don’t marry your first boyfriend. An old boss I had told me that. Really stuck with me. (He was very right in my situation)

FI-REfox · 2021-12-18T05:01:36+00:00

"If you have to drag him along, leave him behind"

Asking if you have any day/time/food preferences is good, but after he has this information, anything other than "Does X pm on Y day at Z restaurant work for you?" is a no: i.e. "Oh you like Indian food, do you know any good places?", "So should we do dinner or... ". He wants you to jump in and do the work of planning this date he asked you out on for him.

Are you prepared for your entire life together to be this way? No? Then block and delete. You'll get much farther without carrying his deadweight.

TellCerseeItWasMe · 2021-12-18T03:31:06+00:00

Don't repair/put a lot of effort into him cause he isn't even thinking about doing that for you

reddit_is_real_bad · 2021-12-17T21:01:21+00:00

Never settle for the bare minimum! That’s not enough.

If you get a gift from him, it shouldn’t be a special occasion, it should just be a normal day. If he never shouts at you, that’s not an impressive thing, that’s the minimum. What’s his should also be yours.

spicyspa · 2021-12-18T03:03:34+00:00

I must've gone on 100 first dates i couldn't keep track. These are 1st date suggestions.

Vet the man. Ask him for his # and let the search begin. Don't give out your # first if at all possible.
Vet the restaurant (or field lol) where you'll be meeting. Google it. Look on Google Earth. Check out the parking, layout and exits. Also check to see what the customer base is like. Plan a discrete exit strategy.
If you don't want to go, don't and don't worry about it. You can send a message or not. It's up to you.
Don't try to win the guy over, it makes you look desperate and weak. It's not attractive, it's pickme and puts you at a disadvantage and sets you up to be manipulated.
Don't accept a 2nd date from him if he tries to reach you after 1 day of not hearing from him, 2 days at most. Block him. The excuses are usually weak and if a guy had an interest in you, you would've reached out immediately. I've allowed guys to wait me out longer than 24 hours and the sequels always suck. Don't bother.

Title	general good advice about dating
Author	katiekat0214
Upvotes	68
Comments	18
Date	December 17, 2021 12:25 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ri4co4/general_good_advice_about_dating/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/general-good-advice-about-dating.1092069 https://theredarchive.com/post/1092069

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