Hypergamy hysteria debunked

christmasforoutlaws · 2020-01-04T12:09:17+00:00

I've read through the OkCupid studies and I gotta say that the Reddit bros who whine about not getting messages are making it unnecessarily hard for themselves. They're targeting the top 1% of women when there's like 2x as many men than women and they're pissed it doesn't work.

Basically the men on OkCupid were only interested in 8/10 to 10/10 women between 18 and 21. No matter what they set their age preferences at, the men on OkCupid spent almost an obsessive amount of time searching for and messaging the hottest 18 to 21 year olds they could find, regardless of their own age. Female attractiveness for men rapidly declined after the age of 24.

The OKCupid studies really did come out and say that if you aren't smoldering hot, the next best thing is for you to be ugly. If you are considered conventionally attractive, you will receive fewer messages then someone who is more controversial in appearance. That's because the men on the site interpret conventionally attractive girls as getting more messages, so they don't think it's worth it to throw their hat into the ring. The problem is when everyone thinks that you're getting bombarded with messages, you're actually getting few messages at all.

Meanwhile the women were normal-ass people. Most women found the most attractive guys to be within 5 years of their own age. Yeah, there's that whole 80/20 thing which was never really explained in all the studies that I read. They never revealed what it was that was defined as unattractive. but it doesn't really matter anyway because the results overwhelmingly show that women are willing to settle. Women were messaging guys that were clearly far more unattractive than they were with equal frequency that they were messaging guys their own attractiveness or hotter.

In conclusion: if you got into a relationship with a dude from OkCupid, he's probably resentful that you aren't younger and hotter while you're just thankful that he has more than three shirts and knows how to brush his teeth.

rftw2013 · 2020-01-04T13:59:13+00:00

That article is 10 years old. I wonder how much things have changed due to the advent of swiping apps like Tinder and Bumble?

Illustrates, though, how hyper-focused men are on looks, while women give men more of a chance.

Noteatingforoneweek · 2020-01-04T22:04:08+00:00

Hypergamy my ass

Many men dump women the first sign they feel like they can do better

The more someone harps on something, the more you know they secretly actually are the thing they are most scared of, otherwise they wouldn’t be constantly fearing it unless if they themselves would do it in a heartbeat

raindampened · 2020-01-04T14:51:04+00:00

well ladies this is why we only try to date men we actually find attractive on all levels. do not settle when it comes to personality, behaviour and looks.

ThrowAway3879284 · 2020-01-04T23:21:52+00:00

[deleted]

Thenightsaresolong_ · 2020-01-05T00:26:20+00:00

The graph showing messaging success stats is really interesting.

By the numbers, it appears that men in the top attractiveness percentile who send messages to women in the lowest attractiveness percentile have some of the lowest odds for messaging success. The article posits the idea that it has to do with a “self-confidence issue” on the side of the women, but I wonder if maybe it’s not more of a respect thing?

Like, men who perceive themselves to be significantly more attractive than a prospective female partner (even if it’s not even close to the truth) are more likely to send some “hey bby want sum fuk” trash because they see them as less worthy of being treated decently. The women in turn are less likely to respond.

Smooth_Purchase · 2020-01-05T02:56:30+00:00

This is what I think about when men say "I've had NO luck on dating sites! No matches!" Especially if they are at least somewhat attractive. I'm like... How is that possible? I swipe right on every cuteish guy who has a non-crazy profile, no douche selfies. That bar is pretty low for matching. They must be swiping right only on model women (debatable because Ive been told i look like a model but guys will come up with the dumbest reasons why you aren't good enough.. One guy dumped me because I had a wheat allergy. He slithered back into my inbox after realizing that maybe gluten doesn't matter so much as kind, fit, pretty and mentally stable.. lmao I'm dating someone way better now)

If they were giving girls a chance like women usually give men a chance, they would have PLENTY of matches unless you have bad pictures, cringey bio.

Edited to add that the reason "eighty percent of women want twenty percent of men" is because hot women want hot men, and reasonably attractive women are willing to give reasonably attractive men a chance but since they don't perceive her to be "the best he can get"it's going to be low effort or weird messages bullshit that she will write him off for.

Title	Hypergamy hysteria debunked
Author	Aurore11
Upvotes	132
Comments	32
Date	January 4, 2020 11:06 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ejvej7/hypergamy_hysteria_debunked/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/hypergamy-hysteria-debunked.685639 https://theredarchive.com/post/685639

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