I feel that I’m always walking on eggshells with you.

aenema46n2 · 2021-09-11T01:03:31+00:00

So very true!! I had my ex fiance used say this to me on more than one occasion. He was toxic AF! Master manipulator, complete narcissist....hence I finally got the courage to leave his ass👊

ferociouslycurious · 2021-09-11T02:33:21+00:00

My ex would say this. It’s a red flag for them not wanting to do the bare minimum and wanting an excuse when you’re upset they won’t. It’s also a red flag for ignoring all of your effort and emotional state and refusing to do any emotional labor.

sassyheather · 2021-09-11T00:29:30+00:00

I read the title and thought it was meant as something addressed at a man. Just want to add that it’s absolutely a gigantic red flag if a man makes you feel like you’re walking on eggshells.

I feel like men would use this saying to trigger guilt. If a woman hears this phrase, she’d probably feel guilty and think of adjusting her behavior. And here I see a very clear difference between me and men: men would say it to manipulate women into changing their behavior (read “be more accommodating towards all sorts of male bs”) while I’ll never say it out loud, I’ll just leave the second I feel it.

PetuniaXo · 2021-09-11T05:33:53+00:00

These comments were spot on and helped me to realize the only people who ever said this to me were highly narcissistic. My mother and one of my exes.

They hated when I put up a boundary, or even simply had a reaction and showed emotion. They wanted to make me feel unreasonable, "too sensitive", like I was a stick in the mud, "can't take a joke", etc. Instead I was just having a normal reaction to their BS.

They just want to bulldoze all your self preservation attempts

ilovewinniethepooh · 2021-09-11T06:45:19+00:00

Only two people have ever said this to me in my entire life. Both were 100% boundary smashing assholes.

wondertarget · 2021-09-11T01:40:27+00:00

My mother used to tell me this. I was 13-17, and didn't like her having loud parties on weekdays and weekends (I was later diagnosed with Misophonia and severe depression/anxiety, but of course, she doesn't believe in mental illness) or her laughing obnoxiously on purpose because she knew it nearly brought me to tears. She used to tell me that people had to walk on eggshells around me when I would get upset when she or family made fun of me, or when she talked about my period/body hair to her friends with me present.

People use this phrase to make you feel bad about having boundaries and normal human emotions. They also use it as a control device so that you behave the way they want/expect. It's such a manipulative thing to say to someone.

Struggleis4real · 2021-09-11T08:31:35+00:00

WHAT A RELIEF. I questioned this phrase for the longest time when another close female friend told me this, but now I see that they simply did not like the boundaries I constantly enforced around them - so much so they told me my boundary “I feel statements” were exhausting in arguments ha! She was upset I wouldn’t coddle her emotions.

xfelugirlx · 2021-09-11T06:01:03+00:00

This is true, my ex really loved to blame me for sll the discussions although he had this shitty behaviour or didn’t care about my stuff at all. But hey he likes to play the victim☠️ narcissist shet

basicbiddy · 2021-09-11T14:38:56+00:00

The man who told me this, told me this after he swore at me and I immediately told him to cut it out. He wanted to be ugly to me and not be rebuked.

ComprehensiveAmoeba9 · 2021-09-11T03:04:20+00:00

My ex LVM said that to me right before our relationship ended because I started questioning things and bringing up concerns about us. I was trying to CoMmUnIcAtE with him because I started feeling less important, he was starting to show some red flags. He showed signs of covert narcissism and I told him about some personal issues of mine he started weaponizing against me to make him out to be the victim. “I feel that I’m always walking on eggshells with you” is NVM language for “How dare you question my actions and prepare to let me walk all over you”

waterloosunsetjs · 2021-09-11T22:54:56+00:00

Holy SHIT!!! W O W WOWOWOWOOW ok made some connections, thank you for this post. The shitstain in my life told me this after I found some gross things on his phone and was scrambling to get myself together. I took what I found and internalized it thinking it was my fault and would constantly want to talk to him (before i got a therapist) about behaviors he would do that made me feel even worse. Then one day, i forgot what he did that was so so shitty I tried to have a discussion with him about how i felt over xyz and this fucker says that exact statement with the most pathetic looking face, that i’m the victim face, and I internalized that shit. I would stop trying to talk to him in fear of making him feel bad or didn’t want to be a seen as a bad person when all i desperately wanted to was feel loved and safe and heard by him. 2 yrs free of that shit show, will never look back <3 I am grateful for finding this sub.

losersquad711 · 2021-09-15T23:24:15+00:00

wow first time I heard this was with my most recent ex and this totally makes sense. I didn’t think too much about it before and assumed I was the problem but I guess that’s part of a narcissist’a strategy

Title	I feel that I’m always walking on eggshells with you.
Author	exhalefierceness
Upvotes	558
Comments	17
Date	September 10, 2021 11:28 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/plw5tp/i_feel_that_im_always_walking_on_eggshells_with/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/i-feel-that-im-always-walking-on-eggshells-with.1069375 https://theredarchive.com/post/1069375

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