Today I got a facial with a nice lady I went to once before. She said she has a bf and is freezing her eggs. I told her I’m single and about my dating experiences, and we both agreed men in our vacation destination city are mostly looking for a “good time.”

But she lost me when she said the numbers are in “mens favor” because there are way more single women than men and they have all these options blah blah. I said I disagree bc I think it’s easy for women to get dates here (men are abundant and don’t have as many options - see any dating app or male subreddit). I said I just think there’s a lack of quality men that are genuine with their intentions. She responded “yeah, they won’t even go on a bike ride when you suggest it as a date bc they just want sex.” In that moment I hated being lumped with her and in this stereotype/assumption of a single woman. I didn’t say anything to her but inside I wanted to say that I have many options and routinely turn down dates (with lvm). Then on my drive home I reflected on the dates I recently turned down (date for drinks, paddle boarding, and a museum date from a guy that couldn’t plan appropriately). I thought maybe I am too picky. This woman here is complaining about no one biking with her, and I am turning down dates bc they aren’t asked 3 days in advance or are low effort. I thought maybe my expectations are too high...maybe I should date museum guy even tho he had problems scheduling a phone date and didn’t text when he said he would.

Then I realized I am still placing value on the ability of “getting a man.” I was also thinking fearfully and having a scarcity mindset because this woman’s comments made me think there is no better and that I should therefore lower my standards. I am glad I caught these thoughts and feelings and was able to label them. The path is a hard one but changing my conditioned mindset will take time.