So I register online this website, and am matched up with a matchmaker. She is a married woman only a few years older than me. She asks me some questions to get to know me and then makes my status active on the website so I can look at peoples profiles (no photos) and request our matchmaker to set us up to speak to them. or vice versa.

At first, I decided not to do request to speak anyone, choosing instead to wait and see who would make the effort to see my profile and reach out to their matchmaker to speak with me. I told my matchmaker this, and she said "as you wish, but that will slow down the process".

I told my family this, as a have a habit of keeping them updated, and my aunt was like "it doesnt matter who reaches out, since if the other person doesnt like your profile he will reject you anyway, so it's only going to work if both people are interested"

Looking back this was stupid advice, but a couple weeks ago when I started this, I wasnt thinking straight and was frustrated and impatient with dating/marriage apps being full of lazy fuckboys, so I thought "fuck it" and went ahead and looked at a profile that I liked.

He had a lot of "on paper" qualifications. My age, educated, good job, fluent in english, etc.

So I asked my matchmaker to ask for a photo. She asked him, and sent me a photo. Not my type. At all. I shouldve ended it there, but I unfortunately asked my moms opinion, and she said that the photo was taken too close to his face so it might be distorting the image. I thought, maybe ill ask for more photos when i speak to him.

So I agreed to speak to him.

He messaged and immediately asked for a photo. I say to him ill send him one, but can he send me a couple more too, as I only saw the one.

He starts arguing "well you saw one of me, and i didnt even see one of you"

I shouldve blocked him right there.

But stupidly, i continued. I said "Ill send one, then you send me a bunch"

and he started arguing about how thats now fair and demanding a bunch too.

Keep in mind, in our culture, a man cannot just blatantly ask for multiple photos. It's creepy.

I did not agree to send him multiple photos. So I sent the one, and he sent 5-6 more to me.

Now just to be clear I am eons out of his league.

I sent him the photo and he didnt even compliment me.

He sent me a bunch. I recognized one of his photos from a dating app (never swiped right on his ugly photo) and asked him how he was finding the app.

The conversation did not take off, as he kept sending boring replies and didnt put any effort into keeping the convo going. Not a single question.

After like 40 min total of talking (aka me carrying the convo and asking questions) I just said "sorry this is not a good match, good luck" and he said good luck back to me

Now is where it gets interesting.

This bitxhboy complains to his matchmaker.

His matchmaker tells the organizer of the website. She calls me and berates me about how "ive seen your profile and maybe you feel youre in a rush to get married because of your AGE but you are TOO STRAIGHT FORWARD" and lectures me about how I am TOO BLUNT.

I immediately cut across her and said "No. Im not in a rush. and I dont feel that way."

I was shook. She really lectured me for a whole 5 minutes about how "some people have lives and jobs and maybe you should be patient and give them a chance" instead of cutting it off after 40 min.

Like Im not about to WASTE my time for the sake of an ugly boring ass male's ego.

Then I tell my family about it because I am LIVID. I tell her and my aunt just to vent, which I see was a huge mistake and always has been but its hard for me to stop reaching out to them because I dont have many people to talk to. (Side note, I think I will just vent on here with you ladies, atleast you wont aggravate my temper by taking the pickme brainwashers' side) My mom ended up saying I rejected him TOO ABRUPTLY and shouldve maybe kept talking for a bit.

I ended up arguing with my mom and she realized and admit that I was right and there's no point wasting your own time for a bitxhboy, but it took her far too long, and she kept forgetting her common sense and going back to her internalized misogyny ways repeatedly, and kept saying "maybe you shouldve tried this or that".

I NEED TO STOP ASKING MY FAMILY FOR ADVICE.

I NEED TO STOP VENTING TO MY FAMILY.

I NEED TO STOP TELLING MY FAMILY ABOUT MARRIAGE RELATED STUFF.

I should've just hung up on this ugly ass matchmaker when she called me to berate me. I shouldve hung up on her in the middle of her misogynistic sentence.

I should not have even gave this guy a chance after I saw the photo. NO GIVING UGLY ASSES A CHANCE.

And furthermore, I shouldn't have even bothered reaching out. IF HE IS NOT MAKING THE FIRST MOVE, HE DOES NOT FUCKING WANT YOU.

​

I just need yall's support right now.